


One of Her Students

by jennyhehehi



Series: One of Her Students [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, and eleanor is harry's teacher ((if that wasn't clear)), and minor character death!!!, and some abuse too, and there's self harm, but also some fluff, but idk what else?, ummm louis and eleanor are in a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 56,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennyhehehi/pseuds/jennyhehehi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything changes when one day Louis decides to visit the school that his girlfriend, Eleanor, works at. Out of everything that he could notice in the school, he notices a quiet boy with curly hair who’s name is Harry. He comes to learn that Harry has secrets. And more problems come up when he starts having feelings for one of his girlfriend’s students.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi okay so its been a while since i first posted this on tumblr and i know a lot of people prefer reading things from ao3 so i decided to just post it on here and edit it a bit :) im gonna try to get all the chapters uploaded as fast as possible!

"Are you still coming by the school this afternoon?" Eleanor asked, grabbing her bag off the kitchen counter. Her boyfriend, Louis, grabbed the cup of coffee that he made her and handed it to her.

"Yeah, if you don’t mind. I get bored here sometimes," He frowned, walking back over to the couch and throwing himself onto it. Ever since Louis lost his job about a month ago, he felt like he was going nowhere with his life. His days usually consisted of him on the couch, watching TV, or sleeping. He was lucky that the school that Eleanor taught at wasn’t very strict with their visitors.

"I don’t mind! You can meet some of my students. I talk about you quite a lot and I’m sure they will want to meet you," She smiled, leaning over the couch to kiss Louis’ lips once.

Louis’ dad owned the school— half the reason why Louis’ didn’t even really need a job. His family was rich, _really_ rich. Sure, his life growing up he had to be clean and very organized with his life— but now, he honestly couldn’t care less. Money didn’t really mean anything to him and he was lucky that his parents weren’t some of the arrogant kind of rich people. He was pretty close with them and he had a great relationship with his mum.

He was close with his dad too, but not as much as he was with his mum. Growing up, his dad expected high things from Louis, who had to eventually meet his standards, but they didn’t have an amazing relationship. It was completely opposite with his mum though. His mum was possibly the sweetest women to ever live, she and Louis had a very close relationship, a friendship. He could tell her everything that he wanted and she could do the same. Sometimes Louis believed that neither of them belonged in the lifestyle though. His mum and him were always complaining about how needy and demanding some of the rich families were around Doncaster.

Louis wrinkled his nose at the thought of kids who went to school. Sure, he wasn’t there long ago— but it just seemed weird to him, “How old are the students that you teach?”

"They range from about 16-18. I have only a couple of students who are actually 18. Most of them are 16 and 17," Eleanor replied.

Louis nodded and brought a blanket up to his chin, watching Eleanor scramble through the house and grabbing the rest of her things. She was late, again. She gave Louis a quick kiss on the lips before running out the door, causing Louis to let out a small laugh when the door closed behind her.

The day passed slowly. But around noon, like it was planned, Louis showed up to the school. He had called Eleanor to get the correct room number for her class. He was kind of nervous, he wasn’t going to lie. Something about a room full of teenagers intimidated him since he was no longer a teenager. He was 20.

His eyes scanned each room and the room number as he walked silently through the empty hallways. He finally found the room. Taking a deep breath, he walked inside.

"Louis!" Eleanor exclaimed, walking over to him quickly. Everyone seemed to have stopped what they were doing and watched them.

"Hi," Louis said, giving everyone a shy smile. He looked around at all the eyes that were staring at him and he could feel his face becoming hot.

"Ms. Calder, is this your boytoy?" A boy teased, winking at her.

"Oh shut it, Niall. Attention! Everyone, this is," She paused for a moment, "...Mr. Tomlinson." Eleanor announced, glancing at Louis who raised his eyebrows at her.

Mr. Tomlinson? It made him sound ...old.

"Just go with it, they’ll respect you more," Eleanor mumbled quietly to Louis before looking back to the class, "He’ll be here for the rest of the day."

"Where should I go, Ms. Calder?" Louis teased, following Eleanor as she walked to her desk.

"Just sit here," She pointed to a stool next to her computer. When Louis sat down, Eleanor walked back to the front of the classroom and began the lesson.

The class loved her. They interacted with her like they were all a big group of friends. The class did whatever she wanted, really. Louis was honestly impressed with Eleanor and how she interacted with the younger people.

His eyes scanned some of the students. There was a big variety of them. He could easily spot the younger ones and who he thought was older than the others. But his eyes stopped on a boy with dark curly hair— his face not really noticeable since his head was on his desk. It was odd to Louis how quiet this boy was compared to everyone else who were chatting away happily.

Eleanor glanced at Louis as she sat back at her computer, “Who’s the depressed kid?” Louis asked.

Eleanor looked in the direction that Louis was looking at, “Oh that’s Harry. And he’s not depressed, he’s just really quiet.”

"He seems weird," Louis said simply as Eleanor gave him a glare, "Just saying."

The class came to end, and Louis watched as Eleanor began to clean up her space around her. So Louis stood up and waited for her.

"Mr. Styles, can I speak to you?" Eleanor asked suddenly.

Louis looked towards the curly headed boy who walked slowly towards Eleanor’s desk. Louis met his deep green eyes for a split second before he looked away quickly.

"Yes, Ms. Calder?" Harry said softly, clearing his throat when he realized how inaudible he just spoke.

"Harry, your grades are slipping.. It’s gotten to the point where you give me blank tests back. And you know that I’m not very strict— Just, please try a little harder. Or it's going to get to the point where I’m going to have to call your mother and request a tutoring session sometime after school.”

Harry’s eyes tightened, “No— I— I’ll try harder. Just— don’t call my mum..”

"It’s school rules. You’re failing with a very low grade.. and I have to call her.."

Harry seemed like he was almost frightened for a second before he shook it off, rolling his eyes. “Whatever," he mumbled, his eyes glancing back up to Louis, who was watching and listening to their conversation. Louis opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Harry walked off.

"Man, he isn’t weird. At all," Louis said sarcastically. He laid his hands on the back of Eleanor’s shoulders and gave her a quick massage before letting out a laugh.

Eleanor turned around and glared at Louis, “Shut up Lou—”

"It’s Mr. Tomlinson to you.” Louis teased. He grabbed his bags and began to leave the school, surprised at how much he actually enjoyed coming here today.

* * *

It was a few days after Louis visited the school. He was at home by himself— a usual weekday for him, when the sound of his phone buzzing on the coffee table in front of him interrupted his thoughts.

"Hello?" He answered, flipping through the channels on the TV.

"Hey, listen, I’m supposed to tutor Harry later— so he’s coming over. But I don’t know when I’m going to be home because I’m running late. He should be there in about 5-10 minutes.. Could you just let him in, do not make him feel uncomfortable Lou. If he doesn’t show up this time, I have to call his parents.. Just let him inside. Simple, yeah?” Eleanor said.

Louis groaned, standing up, “You invited him here? Why the hell would you do that?”

"Because I’m trying to help him! Just do it,” Eleanor said, but before Louis could answer, she hung up.

Louis sat back down on the couch, bring his hands to his face. He could swear that life hated him in that moment. He wasn’t really comfortable with newer people in his house. He felt so ..exposed. Bringing his hands through his hair, he stood up and looked around his slightly messy house wondering if he should pick up some of the stuff before Harry arrived.

"Fuck that." He said, turning all his attention back to the TV.

Minutes later, as expected, there was a soft knock on the door. Louis stood up slowly and walked over to the door. When he opened it, he saw Harry standing there. He was wearing a grey beanie that covered his loose brown curls. He also wore a green shirt which almost matched his deep green eyes. It fit tightly across his long torso, a grey cardigan laid over his shirt and he wore a dark pair of jeans He had a bag over his shoulder that probably held some of his school stuff. Louis basically stared for a second. He noticed Harry’s tongue slide across his pink lips, coating them with a glossy spit but his eyes quickle flickered back up to Harry’s eyes.

"Uhm.. Is Ms. Calder here?" Harry asked quietly, looking up to meet Louis’ curious gaze.

In just the few seconds that their eyes met, Louis felt like Harry was just open. Like all he was trying to hide all of his emotions but his eyes were giving them all away. It made his throat close up at how emotional his eyes were just in a small glance between them. Harry had secrets and he made it obvious.

"She’ll be here soon. You can come inside if you would like to wait for her," Louis said awkwardly, clearing his throat and opening the door wider.

Harry stepped inside and looked around the house. Louis closed the door and walked back to the couch, “Go ahead and set your bag anywhere. You hungry?”

Harry put his bag on the table right in front of the couch and shook his head slightly, “No,” He sat down on the couch next to Louis and stared at the TV. The silence was interrupted when Harry’s stomach grumbled.

"You sure?" Louis laughed lightly, standing up, "I’m making me something. You want some eggs?"

"Eggs?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.

"It’s the only decent thing I can make," Louis said truthfully. He shrugged, a little embarrassed, walking into the kitchen.

Harry sat in the living room alone, looking around at all the new things that surrounded him on all sides. His eyes wandered over all the pictures of Louis and Eleanor around the apartment. There weren’t too many, but there were a handful of them. He immediately felt a bit awkward, like he was intruding the home of this couple. But he shook it off and walked into the kitchen to find Louis cooking away.

"Mr. Tomlinson, right?" Harry asked, feeling awkward, and leaned against the counter.

"Call me Louis," Louis sputtered out a laugh, opening the fridge to get a couple of eggs out.

"Oh. Well, hi. I’m Harry," He cleared his throat and gave him a small smile, watching him as he danced around the kitchen trying to cook some simple eggs.

"I know."

They both sat in silence for a few more seconds. Harry— suddenly feeling a bit warm, took off his jacket. He winced slightly as he removed it slowly. Louis looked up and watched, spotting a few multi-colored bruises on his arms. Harry bit his lip as if he was trying to ignore them.

"You okay?" Louis asked, meeting Harry’s eyes.

"Oh.. Uh— Yeah.. I’m fine," Harry said, laying the jacket on the counter. Louis watched the boy for a few seconds, spotting more bruises. He didn’t know why but Harry confused Louis. A few more seconds passed and Harry met Louis’ eyes. He noticed the way that Louis examined his bruises, so he changed the subject,"You’re going to burn the eggs."

"Fucking hell," Louis mumbled, bringing all his attention back to the eggs that weren’t burned yet, but were close, "You saved them!" He joked.

Harry let out a small chuckle and sat down at a table that was in the kitchen. He watched as Louis walked over to him, holding 2 plates of eggs. Louis set a plate in front of Harry and sat down next to him with a plate also.

10 minutes passed and Eleanor still wasn’t there, leaving Louis and Harry to eat their eggs in mostly awkward silence. Harry’s eyes wandered around the house as he finished his eggs. Suddenly his phone began to buzz on the table. Louis caught a small glimpse of it, reading: **Mum**

He watched as Harry almost hesitated before answering, “Hello?” He said quietly, glancing at Louis. Louis could hear someone yelling on the other line. Harry stood up quickly, “I’m at a …friend’s house..” He glanced at Louis before shuffling into the other room. “Okay.. okay..” He said, his voice getting quieter and quieter each word. He looked like he was on the urge of tears.

Louis walked into the other room when Harry stopped talking, finding him putting his jacket back on quickly, ignoring the bruises on his arm. “Do you think you could give me a ride home? My mom wants me home in 15 minutes and I kind of walked here..” He asked nervously, avoiding Louis’ eyes.

"Um, yeah, sure," Louis answered, a bit confused by his nervousness. He reached over and grabbed his keys off the counter and slid on some shoes, quickly following Harry out of the door. They both walked in silence out to Louis’ car.

"Where to?" Louis asked, starting the car and began to back out of the driveway. Harry gave him his address and Louis began to drive in that way. The car ride was silent until Louis interrupted the silence once again, "Is everything okay?"

"Um, yeah." Harry answered, glancing at the window.

"Doesn’t seem like it."

"Just stay out of my business," Harry mumbled, glaring at the window. His eyes watched the window as everything went by quickly.

"Sorry. I was just curious," Louis said murmured.

As Louis pulled up to Harry’s house, Harry put his hand on the handle of his door but paused. He turned back and glanced at Louis, “Thanks for the ride. Tell Ms. Calder that I’ll try to come back tomorrow or something..”

"Okay. And no problem."

Harry turned back to the door, hesitating. A couple of seconds passed as he gathered up the courage to open the door and walk up to his house.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days passed and Louis didn’t see Harry. He kinda figured that Harry would be back, since that’s what he told him. But he just wasn’t. Louis was curious about Harry. Something about Harry caught Louis’ eye and he wasn’t sure what that thing was. He didn't know if he was curious or worried, he just knew that he thought of Harry a bit more than he knew he should have. Louis didn’t ask Eleanor about Harry though, not wanting her to know about his sudden interest in the younger boy. She didn’t mention him once, which made him even more curious with what was going on. Being honest, he was slightly disappointed he didn’t see the boy.

It was Wednesday now. It was around the evening when Louis returned back to their house after he was done hanging out with a few of his friends, Zayn and Liam. When he opened the door, he threw his keys on the counter and quickly spotted Eleanor in the kitchen, talking to someone. He moved inside and saw the same green eyes meet his from the other day. Harry. 

Louis shuffled inside awkwardly and walked into the kitchen, watching and feeling a bit distracted as Eleanor greeted him with a big grin. Louis returned the smile after a few moments and glanced at Harry, “Hey Harry,” He said causally.

"Hey," Harry said simply, watching Louis walk around the kitchen as if he was looking for something. 

"We’ve been in a tutoring session for about an hour and we were getting hungry." Eleanor explained, smiling. She walked over towards Louis and kissed his cheek lightly.

Louis nodded and sat down at the table across from Harry who kept his eyes on his sandwich. 

"I’ll be right back!" Eleanor said, running into the other room.

"So," Louis said, looking back at Harry. "Did I get you home on time, Monday?" Louis asked, giving him a cheeky grin. Harry looked up at Louis, breaking his stare from the sandwich in front of him. Louis studied Harry’s emotionless face until Harry gave him a small nod in return.

"Yes. Thank you." Harry answered simply.

"I didn’t think you would actually be back, to be honest," Louis said, reaching over at Harry’s leftovers and picking off a piece of his sandwich before putting it in his mouth.

Harry watched Louis chew his sandwich. Ignoring what Louis said, Harry spoke quietly, “I didn’t want that or anything.”

Louis shrugged, “I’m hungry. I can’t cook. I see food. I eat it.”

Harry let out a small chuckle, the first honest emotion that he showed since Louis walked in. He pushed his plate forward and towards Louis as if he was offering his food. Louis didn’t hesitate and he took the sandwich right off the plate to finish it off.

A few minutes passed with just them sitting in silence, giving each other a few smiles as Louis continued eating Harry’s sandwich. Eleanor walked back into the room and held a few books in her hands, “Okay Harry. Get your paper for the chart out.”

Louis stood up with the sandwich still in his hands, “That’s my cue to leave. Bye.” Louis gave Harry a small wave and gave Eleanor a wink before walking out of the room and into the livingroom.

* * *

 

As the tutoring session came to an end, Harry stood up and walked to the door. He looked around the room for a second as if he was looking for something. He awkwardly caught Louis’ eye, who was sitting on the couch and watching TV.

"Need a ride again?" Louis asked, standing up.  He had been watching him curiously and it seemed as if Harry’s eyes screamed for some help. Something about Harry was just  _weird._ And Louis wanted to know what it was. Harry’s hand paused at the doorknob before answering Louis’ question.

"Uhm, if you don’t mind." Harry said, turning around to face Louis.

"Nope, I have nothing else to do. Don’t want to miss your curfew again?"

"You could say that.." Harry mumbled, turning back to the door. He slowly turned the door knob and walked out to Louis' car, not really looking back to see if Louis was following. 

Louis watched him walk to his car as he walked to the driver’s side and got inside of it. He turned to Harry before he started to drive, “So, Harry..”

Harry looked at Louis as he started to drive. “Yes?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

"What’s your story?" Louis asked, keeping his eyes on the road but every few minutes he made sure to glance at Harry.

Harry stared at Louis a bit shocked at his question. For some reason this question made him feel nervous. No one ever asked about him or what was wrong with him. It was new. Especially if they knew that he had a ‘story’. He stared down at his hands, feeling a bit uncomfortable as he answered.

"M-my story?" He asked, looking up. "What makes you think that I have a story?"

Louis shrugged as he continued to drive. “I don’t know, you just look like there’s a story behind you.”

"Don’t you think that’s a bit personal?" Harry asked nervously.

Louis just shrugged again, “Yeah. But you can trust me. I won’t tell. You just look like you’re holding back a lot of things…” He paused seeing Harry’s expression, “You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to. I’m just curious, that’s all. Sorry.”  _Oh god, he thinks I'm a creep. Why did I even ask him that, fuck._

Harry watched Louis, thoughts running through his mind. Someone he just met a few days ago saw right through him. Everything he tried so hard to just push down within him was visible to Louis. The silence drowned his ears as he just stared at Louis as if he was trying to just figure this boy out. Louis felt Harry’s eyes on him and he felt awkward at the attention on himself. 

"L-Like what?" Harry finally spoke, looking away towards the windo.

"Hmm.. Well, let’s start with.. Why do you have this curfew that you get so nervous about? I mean, I understand that you’re 17 and you don’t want to miss your curfew, but you just seem so like …terrified about it."

"I’m 18," Harry corrected awkwardly, "And let’s just say.. my mum and I don’t ..er.. get along sometimes. If I don’t come home when she want’s me to.. it could turn out ..ugly," Harry said quietly, looking at Louis to find a reaction. Louis was honestly one of the first people he told about any conflict with his mum. He felt comfortable telling him for some reason. His eyes were basically pleading for him to keep quiet about this conversation.

Louis nodded, not really knowing what to say, “I’m sorry..” 

"I really don’t need your pity, honestly. I’ve had enough of that in my life so far. I don’t need it from another person. We just don't really get along sometimes."

Louis stayed silent as a few moments passed, “I don’t know what to say..”

"Why?"

"Because I feel like anything I say could be the wrong thing to say." Louis said honestly, he glanced back at the young boy again before looking back at the road. 

"Why do you even care?" Harry mumbled, glaring at the window. 

"I— I really don’t know.. I just feel like you just need a friend or something. There’s something about you that …confuses me.. That sounds creepy," Louis said letting out a laugh. He awkwardly scratched his head as he pulled up to Harry’s house.

Harry ignored his comment and turned to Louis, giving him a small smile, “Thanks again for the ride.”

Louis gave him another awkward smile as he watched the boy disappear out of his car and into his house.


	3. Chapter 3

_Louis held on tightly onto the long slender torso that was right in front of him. His hips pressed forward against the other person’s hips. Before he knew it, he was pushed against a wall. His eyes watched the chest in front of him for a second then they trailed up to their face. Harry. His bright green eyes stared into Louis’ eyes for a second before he pressed his lips onto Louis’ roughly. He could feel Harry’s tongue trace his lips softly. It left a tingly sensation that made his legs feel weak, but Harry’s strong arms held onto him._

_Louis’ fingers tangled into Harry’s messy curls. He tugged on them softly as Harry bit his upper lip, causing a whimper to escape Louis’ mouth. He felt so out of breath but he didn’t want to pull away from this kiss at all. He could feel Harry’s hand tracing the skin underneath his jumper. The patch of skin that was now exposed made him get goosebumps. Harry’s long fingers moved on his skin so lightly and carefully— almost like Louis was the most fragile thing to exist.  
_

_This whole moment felt so perfect. He felt so carefree and so happy. When the kiss ended, Louis and Harry just stared into each other’s eyes. They didn’t say anything because they didn’t really need to. They just sat staring, e_ _very now and then one of them would smile._ _\- and it really was perfect._

**BUZZ.**

Louis’ eyes shot open at the sound of Eleanor’s phone vibrating on the nightstand right next to him. The dreams flooded into his mind and he laid there for a second feeling like a complete pedophile at his thoughts on the younger boy.  _What the fuck._

**BUZZ.**

He glanced at the clock, 3:34 AM. He grabbed the vibrating phone, rubbing his tired eyes before answering it without even looking to see who it was. He was sure that Eleanor wouldn’t care that he was answering  _her_ phone.

"Hello?! He whispered impatiently. Why was someone calling so early?

”..Hello? Louis?” A quiet voice spoke on the other line, their voice cracking ever so slightly.

Louis pulled the phone away from his ear to glance to see who it was:  **Harry.**

"Harry?! What’s wrong?" Louis said quietly, suddenly feeling nervous. He shot out of bed and walked out of the room quickly. He assumed something was wrong since it was the middle of the night. Unless he was trying to hook up with Eleanor or something, which, okay then.

"Uhm.. C-could you come pick me up?" Harry said, his teeth were chattering. He didn’t even question why Louis had picked up Eleanor’s phone. He wasn’t really expecting Louis to answer though. Louis was already getting his shoes on and running out of the door before he even answered Harry’s question. As soon as he was outside, the crisp air hit him and he knew that Harry must have been freezing somewhere.

"I’m on my way. Where are you at, Harry?" Louis asked, running to his car.

"I’m n-not r-really s-sure where I am, to be honest.." Harry choked out, his eyes scanned his surroundings. "There’s a p-park… and a pond next to it." 

"Stay there, I think I know where you are," Louis qickly replied, speeding. His mind was racing at what could’ve happened to Harry. He didn’t know why he was so worried, mostly because he would consider Harry a friend. And he helps his friends, right? 

It really didn't have anything to do with the dream he had.

Louis continued driving with the phone pressed up against his ear. Every now and then he would say something to make sure that Harry was still there and that he was still okay. About 10 minutes passed and little water droplets began to fall on his windshield.When he arrived at the park, he immediately saw Harry. Harry saw him too and began to walk to the car slower than Louis would’ve expected him to. It was softly raining by now, Louis opened his door and jogged up to Harry to help him. Harry’s curls were covering his face as he stared at the ground, his hands were shaking from the chilly air around both of them. Louis felt like something wasn’t right with Harry.

"Harry, look at me," Louis said, putting his hand on Harry’s cheek and softly moving his face to look at him. It was one of the first skin on skin contact he had with Harry.

When he turned his face, he revealed a face that was bruised and bloody. A gasp escaped Louis’ mouth as he stared at the broken boy in front of him. He looked completely different. When he saw Harry before, sure he wasn’t the happiest looking guy, but compared to what he looked like  _now_.. It made Louis’s skin crawl. He took a sharp breath in as he just stared completely shocked at his appearance.

Tears were starting to swell in Harry’s eyes as he turned away from Louis quickly to wipe his eyes. He was embarrassed because he knew the sight of him wasn’t too pretty.

“ _What the hell happened to you, Harry?_ " Louis spit through his teeth.

"N-nothing. C-come on," Harry said quietly, walking quickly passed Louis to the car. He opened the door and sat down, putting his face into his hands.

Louis stood there for a second, his heart was racing of fear. Who would’ve done this to Harry? Harry seemed so.. innocent. But thinking about it, Harry seemed so secretive. After a few more seconds passed, he turned back to his car and got inside. He looked at Harry and watched him cry into his hands.

"What happened..? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’ because  _that_ is definitely not nothing, ” Louis spoke softly. He hesitated before he laid his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry looked up at Louis. He told him what happened without even thinking about it. He felt like Louis wouldn’t judge him, if he hasn't run away yet, “My mum was drinking, as always. She found out I was failing Eleanor’s stupid class and she freaked out. I told her I was trying my best to pass it but she didn’t care. So she started hitting me and throwing things at me—”

"Why didn’t you fight back?"

"Because she’s my _fucking_ mum. I’m not going to hit her or push her or do anything. I don’t know. I— It was just so confusing and fast. So she told me to leave. I just fucking want my old mum back. The one who actually loved me and didn’t treat me like trash," Harry said, his lip was wobbling. He bit down on it hard to stop it. He didn’t want more tears to pour out either so he looked out the window, avoiding Louis’ piercing eyes. Louis took his hand away from Harry slowly and watched him speak. "All I am is a disappointment to her—"

"Fuck her. I’ve known you for a few days and I  _know_  that you’re not a disappointment. Don’t even fucking saying that. Who cares if you’re not perfect. You’re failing one class and she can get the fuck over it. Stop blaming it on yourself _,”_ Louis said, running his fingers through his hair. He was frustrated at the younger boy.

"Well it’s kind of hard when she blames everything on me. When my dad died, she blamed it on me. When something goes wrong, it’s  _always_ Harry’s fault. I hate it—” Harry began to cry harder as the images of his father appeared in his mind. He used to be so close with both of his parents and it just fell apart so quickly.

"Stop.  _Please,_ " Louis said with a soft moan, he bit on his lip and he began to drive. It angered him that a grown women —  _a mother_ — could do this to their own son. He felt like he had to protect Harry because the boy was starting to come undone in the passenger seat next to him.

Louis glanced at Harry every few minutes to make sure he was alright. Harry’s lips were wobbling, obviously he wanted to cry some more, but he wiped his eyes quickly. “You can just drop me off at at a hotel,” Harry mumbled. He bit his lip hard enough to turn his lips bright red.

"Um, Harry I'm not going to just drop you off somewhere. I’m taking you back to my house to get your face cleaned up. Eleanor isn’t awake—”

"I’m actually happy you answered her phone..  I just.. I feel like I can trust you? And I haven't had someone like that in a while," He said truthfully. His eyebrows pushed together as he glanced to look at Louis, who was already looking at him.

* * *

 

As Louis returned back into the living room where Harry was seated, he handed him one of his t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that he thought might fit him. Harry grabbed them, giving Louis a soft thank you and a gentle smile. He made his way into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When he returned, he found Louis waiting for him in the living room. Louis watched Harry, admiring the way his damp curls fell onto his face. Harry kept pushing them back to try to keep them out of his vision. His cuts on his face weren’t bloody anymore— just his bruises were the only things visible. Louis could tell that Harry was hurt though. 

"You sure you’re okay, Harry?" Louis asked, taking Harry’s dirty clothes from his hands.

"Y-Yeah," He said, not taking his eyes off of him.

Louis walked into the the laundry room and put the dirty clothes next to the washing machine. He returned back to the living room and sat down on the couch next to Harry. He put his legs up on the couch, making himself at home. Harry on the other hand sat normally, snuggling into the slightly-bigger shirt that Louis let him borrow. 

"We have an extra room, if you want to sleep in there." Louis said, yawning. He glanced at Harry who gave him a smile and nodded.

"Thank you, really," Harry said quietly, returning a little smile, "It really means a lot to me that you're helping me."


	4. Chapter 4

Eleanor woke up at a normal time that morning. Everything seemed normal until she realized that Louis wasn’t in the bed next to her, like usual. She glanced around the room, maybe he was in the bathroom. She looked towards the bathroom & found it empty with the lights turned off.  _What the?_ She sat up and got out of bed, walking down the stairs.

To her surprise, she found Louis sleeping with his mouth wide open. He was fast asleep next to, oh okay.. well, Harry. She raised her eyebrows at the young boy sleeping on her couch. His eyelids fluttered softly— dreaming. Harry was laying at one end of the couch and Louis was at the other end. Their legs were pressing against each other’s so that they could both fit on the couch at the same time. After a few more moments, she walked back upstairs to get ready for work.

Before she left, she left a note for Louis.

_Lou, call me when you get this. we need to talk xx ~ El_

* * *

 

About an hour after Eleanor left, Louis woke up. He glanced around the room for a second, not used to waking up in his living room. He could feel someone near his feet, he glanced down and saw Harry. He remembered all of last night after a few seconds of his thoughts rushing back into his sleepy mind. Harry  _cried_. He didn’t just cry though—he basically sobbed. His eyes watched Harry as he slept peacefully. He looked at the scabs that were starting to form on his cuts and he saw the purple-blue bruising that was starting to form over his delicate face. He wanted to lean over and just make all the pain that was probably going to come when he woke up go away. Harry began to stir next to him, soft moans escaped his mouth. He could see his eyes moving underneath his sleeping lids. It creeped him out to be honest. Louis got off the couch slowly and poked Harry softy, “Harry..” He laid his hand on his chest and shook him gently. He could feel Harry’s heart  _racing_ underneath his fingertips. He shook him again before speaking, “Harry, it’s just a dream. Wake up.”

A few more seconds passed of Louis, who was now on his knees next to the sleeping Harry on the couch, trying to wake him up. A few more minutes passed when finally Harry’s eyes shot open and he stared at Louis. His eyes were wide and shocked, he could feel tears burn in them but he quickly swallowed them away and blinked. His face turned a light shade of pink. He hated when people saw this side of him.

"You okay..?" Louis asked quietly, keeping their eyes locked.

"Uh.. y-yeah," Harry said, he felt the tears wanting to come again. He turned his eyes away and stared at his own fingers.

Louis slowly moved his fingers towards Harry’s face, catching a few tears that already escaped from his eyes. Harry froze at the touch, glancing back up at Louis. No one has ever been this  _gentle_ with him in what seemed like forever. Harry just wanted to melt at his touch, but he kept himself steady.

"Does this happen a lot?" Louis murmured, stroking his hair & trying to comforting him.

"Yes," Harry said quickly, his voice barely audible, "I usually scream, so this time it wasn’t that bad.." He finished honestly.

"What do you dream about?" Louis asked curiously, his fingers still running through Harry’s soft curls.

Harry closed his eyes as Louis kept massaging his fingers into his hair, “Just stuff I’m afraid of.. Being alone.. Sometimes it’s just endless darkness,” He said quietly with his eyes still closed.

Louis paused for a minute, not knowing if he should say what he was about to. But he said it anyway, “Is it weird if I say that I don’t want you to be afraid Harry?” Louis whispered staring at Harry’s eyelids.

Harry opened his eyes slowly and stared right back at Louis. it was odd for him to feel such a connection with someone that he knew for such a short time. It usually took  _ages_ to gain his trust and get him to start talking to them. He never told anyone about the nightmares that he had. He hated talking about it, but for some reason he was comfortable talking about them with Louis. He felt like Louis honestly wanted to be his friend. That he could actually have another friend because Niall was his best friend— his only friend. The only one he could trust besides his sister. He hated it. He hated the way that it was so hard for other people to gain his trust. He’s just been fucked over one too many times. Staring into the deep blue orbs in front of him made him feel happy. He had a feeling in his stomach that he hasn’t had in God knows how long. His eyes flickered from Louis’ eyes to his lips quickly before he looked back into Louis’ eyes. He felt his cheeks burn at the thoughts of him giving Louis a quick kiss. 

But when he saw Louis mimic him, staring at Harry’s lips, he felt a warm rush take over his chest. They both sat and just stared at each other for a few minutes. They didn’t even realize how long it was, they just kept staring. It was more of a curious look— absorbed in the sweetness in front of them. Louis was confused though, he never had any feelings like this over a boy. He would get them when he was around girls, or Eleanor, but never with a boy. Harry made him feel warm and fluffy. He felt like he was responsible for Harry, like he was supposed to protect this fragile boy in front of him. He loved it though. He wanted to take care of him, even in the short amount of time that they knew each other.

Their stare was broken when Louis’ phone began to ring loudly on the floor right next to the both of them, causing Louis to gasp sharply and jump back away from Harry quickly. Glancing over to read who was on the screen he read: **Eleanor.**

Louis stood up and answered it, walking out of the room. He gave Harry a quick glance before walking into the kitchen, “Hello?”

 _“_ Louis _, what the fuck was that this morning?”_  Eleanor almost screamed into the phone, “Harry was on my  _fucking_ couch. I could lose my job if they found out that one of my students slept at my house! He cannot stay there any longer—”

"Excuse me, it’s my house too. He’s staying here for as long as he needs to. Whether you like it or not, so I’d get used to it."

"Are you serious, Lou? What is seriously wrong with you? The other day you were telling me he was weird. He comes over for a few tutoring sessions and you want him to stay at our house?"

"He’s my friend. I’m being a good friend. He needs us— me. Go back to work and we can talk about this when you get home."

"Yes Louis, we will—"

Louis hung up and rolled his eyes. He tossed the phone onto the counter and walked back into the livingroom. Harry’s eyes were locked onto the TV until he heard Louis re-enter the room. He felt his face become hot as thought about the way that he and Louis had been watching each other just minutes before.

"Sorry about that." Louis murmured, taking his place back onto the couch. 

* * *

 

Both Louis Harry knew that once Eleanor got home, it would be weird. Louis had told Harry about how she was scared she was going to lose her job because of this. He had told him that he could leave and it really wasn’t a big deal. He had to go back to his mum sometime but Louis wouldn’t let him. He didn’t care what Eleanor thought, he couldn’t just let Harry leave with the thought that he could get physically hurt. They both sat on the couch, where they had been basically the whole day. Harry didn’t go to school and he most likely wouldn’t go for a few days or until he felt better. They sat in silence as they heard the door open and watched as Eleanor walked into the room with them. Eleanor gave Harry a small nod. She then looked at Louis and pointed into the kitchen. Louis stood up and gave Harry a reassuring smile before following Eleanor into the kitchen. As soon as they were alone, Eleanor began to speak.

"I’m not going to let him stay here Lou. I know that sounds harsh but he isn’t worth ruing my job for."

"Eleanor, my dad owns that fucking school. You know he wouldn’t let anyone fire you."

"He would too, Lou! And you know he would! He’s professional and he isn’t going to favor me because I’m dating his son!" Louis rolled his eyes, but Eleanor continued yelling. "If he isn’t out tomorrow morning, I’m staying at a hotel until he does! I’m not going to ruin my future for one of my students Lou. I care about him, he’s sweet, but I don’t _know_ him! And neither do _you._  I probably know him more than you do, I see him every single day. Did you ever think if he could be using us?!”

"Whatever. Leave. I’m not going to ask him to leave. I feel like he might actually trust me. It seems like it’s hard to gain his trust so I’m not going to waste it because I have a selfish girlfriend."

Eleanor stared at Louis with disbelief, “You’re really going to just let go of all the hard work that we’ve worked for for the past year for this boy— Kid? He’s a kid Louis!” She cried, giving him another harsh glare.

Louis sighed, “I’m not letting go of anything, Eleanor. You’re turning this into something that it’s not!” He shook his head and walked out of the room.

When he returned back into the living room, it was empty. All that was left was a simple note that read:

_Don’t worry about me. focus on your own life. thanks for the help .x ~ Harry_


	5. Chapter 5

It’s been about a week since Louis last saw Harry. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t a bit scared that he hadn’t even gotten a single text message from the boy. He had called dozens of times, often leaving voice messages that consisted of, “Please just tell me you’re okay.” or “…I’m scared you’re hurt.” After what he told Louis about what his mom does to him, he could only imagine the worst and it killed him.

He didn’t talk to Eleanor as much. Mostly because he felt like Eleanor would be the one to understand how much he wanted to help the younger boy. And because she was his teacher, so shouldn’t she want to help at least a little bit? Everyday he would ask her the same question when she walked in after class, “Was Harry there today?” and she would simply shake her head no. It took everything in him to not go to Harry’s house to check on him, but he knew that it would be too risky if his mum saw him. So he waited. And he hated it, he hated waiting for his phone to light up and for him to glance at it— just waiting for Harry to be lit up on his phone.

It was day 9 when that actually happened. Louis had been sleeping on the couch, where he usually slept ever since his whole ‘fight’ with Eleanor about Harry. They had a guestroom but he usually spent his day on the couch, so he would just fall asleep on the couch. It had been around 2:46AM and Louis was snuggling into the blanket that laid across his body. His eyes were closed but his mind was racing. Mostly about Harry.

It scared him how drawn he was to the boy. Not just because he was 18, but because he was Eleanor’s student. And because he was a boy. He was the first boy that had ever stuck into his mind before and it scared the hell out of him. The way that they stared at each other that time, and how pink and sweet his lips looked. The way that when you would catch his eye, you could basically stare straight into his soul. It was all so much for Louis. But he liked it. He actually loved the way that Harry made him feel so …excited and nervous.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a light buzz come from the coffee table next to him. He turned over and grabbed it, glancing at the screen. His vision was blurry with the tiredness he was was feeling, but he didn’t miss the name. Harry.

His heart raced because he knew what happened the last time that Harry had called at this time. His fingers shook as he answered the phone, “Hello?” He choked out.

There was a silence with just a heavy breathing, “..Hi.. L-Louis, could you please come pick me up….?” It was almost like the first time he called him asking Louis this exact question. Except Harry sounded like he was trying as hard as he could to not cry.

"Where are you, Harry? I’m coming. Don’t move," Louis was already racing towards the door, not even putting on any shoes. He kept the phone pressed up to his ear.

"At the same park.." He breathed into the phone, "Please don’t hang up," He whimpered quietly into the phone.

"I’m not going anywhere, promise. I’ll be there in about 10 minutes, maybe less," Louis said, driving.

When he arrived, he didn’t see Harry right away. The phone on the other line was silent, like how it had been for the past few minutes. He knew Harry was still there, he could hear his soft breaths. He got out of his car and began to walk slowly through the park. He spotted a figure sitting on the bench. Their knees were pulled up and their face was hidden in them, their arms were wrapped around their knees to keep them in place. They were holding a phone that was pressed up against their ear.

"Harry, I think I see you," Louis breathed, walking towards the figure on the bench. The figure’s head snapped up and looked directly in Louis’ direction and he knew it was Harry. He pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up, putting in his pocket. He walked quickly towards him as Harry got up off the bench. He limped towards Louis in return.

When they reach each other, Harry just falls into Louis. Tears poured out of Harry’s eyes. His legs give out, causing Louis to lose his grip on him for a second. Harry fell to his knees, leaning against Louis’ legs. Louis bent down to Harry’s level and wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him into his chest. He tried to comfort him, whispering a quiet, “Everything’s okay, Harry.” or a "Shh.." A few more minutes pass and Harry’s sobs lower to soft whimpers, nuzzling closer to Louis. His face presses against Louis’ neck, his soft breath was against his ear. This caused Louis to have goosebumps and he knew that it was wrong for him to even think about how hot it was that Harry was breathing so heavily onto his face. Louis’ fingers trail along Harry’s shirt and he traces his bony spine that was sticking out in the position that they were in. By now, it was reaching almost 3:30 in the morning, they didn’t even realize how long they just sat there on the damp grass in the middle of the park with Louis just holding Harry until his sobs went quiet.

When they finally do part, Louis helps Harry off the ground. He stands up first and holds his hand out for him to take. Harry looks up at Louis for the first time since they both got there, Louis sees how red and puffy his eyes are around his breathtaking eyes. He hesitates for a second and grabs Louis’ hand, standing up as Louis pulls him. Louis doesn’t let go of Harry’s hand— like Harry was expecting. Instead, he intertwines their fingers, as if he was saying that he wasn’t going anywhere and he was staying right here for him. Harry follows Louis with no questions, in fact he tightens the grip on their tangled fingers. He’s following Louis so closely, as if he’s scared something or someone will come up behind him and hurt either of them. Louis feels how tightly Harry is holding his hand, it causes his stomach to do all different kinds of excited flips and turns. He knew this was so wrong and so different, but he liked it. He really liked it and he wasn’t afraid to admit it to himself at all.

When Louis walked got to his car, still slowly guiding Harry, he walked over to the passenger seat and opens it for Harry. He turns and faces Harry, who glances at passenger seat. His eyes flicker back to Louis for another second, their eyes meeting. A moment passes of them just watching each other. Louis awkwardly clears his throat as he realizes how much time has passes. Harry immediately gets into the seat without saying anything. Louis closes the door after Harry gets settled into the seat and Louis walks back over to his side of the car. He gets inside and immediately turns on the heater.

"Cold?" He murmurs, turning to Harry. Harry gives him a small nod and watches Louis as he shifts in his seat, before starting to make his way back to his house, "What happened?" Louis asks quietly, glancing at the boy next to him.

Harry stays silent for a moment, he could feel tears stinging in his eyes as his throat begins to close up, “Two years ago from t-today, my dad d-died,” He croaked out, “My m-mum went absolutely psycho today.. I thought I w-would be able to handle it but ..I wasn’t. She took out a fucking g-gun at one point. I have no idea why the fuck she has a gun, Lou. That makes me so scared. I wanted to leave, but she would break down and cry and talk about how much she misses him.. then she would hug me and apologize but she would get to the point where she was blaming me all over again and make me feel like useless shit,” He coughed, holding his stomach, “and I think my rib might broken.” He said so quiet, Louis almost didn't even hear it.

"Should I take you to the hospital?" Louis asked after a few minutes passed of silence, only the sound of their breathing and the heater running on high. He glanced at Harry who was shaking his head no.

"No, I fucking hate hospitals so much.." Harry’s lips began to wobble, causing him to bite down on them. He clenched his fist hard enough until they were basically white.

Louis reached out and took his balled up fist into his hand, immediately causing Harry to relax. His fingers melted out of the ball and fell into Louis’ hand, tangling their fingers once again. It felt natural honestly and it scared Harry.

"I didn’t know who else to call. I’m s-sorry.." Harry said, trying way too hard not to cry or to make himself look like he was crying. It wasn’t working obviously.

Louis stopped at a stoplight before turning in Harry’s direction, “Don’t apologize. I want to help you. Please stop pushing me away and don’t leave Harry. Please don’t leave. You scared me so much last week, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that could have happened to you. And you wouldn’t return any of my calls.. It killed me. It’s just weird.. I shouldn’t be so scared for my girlfriend’s students. One of her fucking students,” Louis muttered, rambling on and on. He glanced at the stoplight, which was still telling him to stop.

Harry moved his thumb across Louis’ hand slowly. It caught Louis off guard as he watched the movement and he looked up, meeting Harry’s eyes, “I haven’t had someone who ..want’s to be there for me in such a long time..” Harry said softly, his eyes glistened of the wetness. He was sure he would run out of tears soon, he hadn’t cried so hard in a long time, "So.. thank you," Louis felt the urge to just kiss him right then and there. To let him let out all his emotions that were built up, but the stoplight changed and it caused Louis to drive.

* * *

 

"Does your rib hurt still?" Louis asked, bringing Harry inside the house. He turned around and watched Harry as he glanced around the familiar apartment. It was weird to think that Harry was here just a little over a week ago. It felt much longer than that, especially since how much Harry’s been telling him lately.

"Yes. But I’m sure it’ll be fine by tomorrow.." Harry answered quietly. He glanced at the couch, where he had slept in the past, and looked back up at Louis.

"I’m going to go get you clothes to change into. Eleanor and I aren’t really getting along so.. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and you can sleep in the guest room if you would like. Yeah?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrows and waiting for a response from Harry.

Harry nodded and watched Louis disappear. He couldn’t help but think that the reason that he and Eleanor weren’t getting along was because of him. He knew that Eleanor wasn’t too fond of him lately and he didn’t blame her. He felt horrible, like he was intruding on them both. But in all honestly, Louis was basically the only person he had right now. He walked slowly into their guestroom and walked towards the bed. He laid down on top of it, he could smell Louis’ faint scent on it. He felt a bit weird by the fact that he knew what Louis smelled like but he dropped the thought and closed his eyes. His very quick nap was interrupted when Louis tapped lightly on the door, “Can I come in, Harry?”

"Yes." He croaked out, his voice was hoarse, causing his cheeks to turn a shade of pink. Louis walked in, holding a sweater and a pair of sweats. He handed them to Harry and gave him a small smile. Harry took off his shirt slowly. Louis felt a bit awkward because he wasn’t sure if he should leave or not to give Harry some privacy. He begins to walk to the door, turning around to find Harry with no shirt. All he could see were bruises.

"Oh my god, Harry.." Louis said, walking back to Harry. His fingers traced some tender looking yellow-purple bruises. Harry flinched a bit at Louis’ cold fingers but he relaxed immediately at the touch, closing his eyes. He chewed on his lip as Louis continued to stroke the bruising, his stomach flipping at the kind gesture. It was like he was so used to when he would have any physical contact it wasn’t the good kind. Always the negative. When Louis stopped, Harry opened his eyes to find Louis tugging the shirt out of his hands. He let it fall into Louis’ grip. He slowly put it over his head, dressing him like he was five again. Louis gave him a small smile and walked towards the door again, "Goodnight Harry," He said softly.

"W-wait..! ..Louis.?" Harry said right as Louis had begun his small journey to the door. He didn’t even manage to open it yet. A soft pink took over his emotionless face as Louis turned around to meet his eyes.

"Yes?"

"C-Can you ..stay in here- with me tonight?" Harry asked, frowning. He chewed some more of his lip, feeling helpless, "I mean.. I just think I might have nightmares y'know. And I could sleep on the ground. I just don't really want to be alone tonight."

Louis knew it wasn’t a good idea. He knew that Eleanor wouldn’t like it when she woke up. She wouldn’t like finding Harry here again.. Especially if Louis was sharing a bed with him. But maybe she wouldn’t even check on him in the morning. He realized she would be waking up in about 3 hours anyway, so they just had to try to keep Harry a secret until she was gone. Louis realized that he didn’t answer Harry, he just stood there awkwardly thinking about all the outcomes of what could happen. Harry kept his eyes on Louis, feeling a bit rejected at the thought that Louis had to think about it.

"Yeah, sure, of course I will," Louis said, reassuring him.

"You don’t have to if you don’t want to.." Harry said, breaking the eye contact between them.

"I will, don’t worry." Louis smiled. Since he was already in his sleeping clothes, he got into bed without another word and watched Harry. Harry slowly removed his pants, leaving himself in his boxers. Louis tried hard to not just take a look, he knew Harry would see. He chanted to himself, "don’t you fucking dare, Louis." over and over again in his head. But his eyes disobeyed him and he watched. His legs were pale, like his torso, but they weren’t an unattractive pale. His skin tone actually fit him quite nicely. He watched as Harry shuffled into the sweatpants before picking up the jeans that laid on the floor now. He folded them and laid them on the dresser before he walked over to the bed where Louis laid. He snuggled underneath the blanket, turning to face Louis who was already facing him. Harry looked so fragile to Louis. Like he was a little boy asking his mum if he could sleep in her bed in the middle of the night because he was scared that the monsters would get him. Louis gave Harry a warm smile before closing his eyes. He spoke with his eyes still closed, “You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital? Your bruises.. They look painful.”

"No. I hate hospitals."

"I don’t think I’ve met someone who particulary likes them—"

“Please," Harry sounded as if he was almost pleading Louis to not take him to the hospital. Louis opened his eyes and met Harry who was staring at him. Their eyes met and Louis opened his mouth to speak.

"If you don’t want to, I won’t force you Harry.." He whispered.

"It’ just …I’ve had bad experience with them, Lou," Harry whispered back. Somehow their conversation turned to whispers, almost like they didn’t want anyone else in the world to listen to the exchanges that were going on between the two of them. "I had to watch m-my dad die in one and I had to watch…" He trailed off, closing his eyes, "I had to watch Aiden die in one. I just hate being near one because all I can think of is that."

Louis reach out and brushed his thumb across Harry’s cheek slowly, causing Harry to open his eyes to show his green eyes. Harry bit down on lip as it started to wobble, “I know you probably think I’m helpless and pathetic but I hope you know that I’m so happy you’re ..helping me.. it means a lot. I’m just so used to people leaving me..” He whispered. He tried so hard, but he failed— a tear escaped his eye, he wiped it quickly, “I’m so fucking tired of crying today.” He let out a small chuckle before moving a little bit closer to Louis so that their legs brushed against each other. Louis could feel himself get a little hot at this action. Harry closed his eyes again. “Goodnight Lou. Thank you so much for today..” He whispered, leaving a speechless Louis laying next to him.

Louis watched the boy as his eyes closed. Everything that Harry told him in the past week and a half is something that probably takes a lot for him to tell people. He knew that now Harry had opened up to him, he knew that he couldn’t go anywhere. That Harry was going to be depending on him and hoping that he wasn’t going to go anywhere and Louis didn’t mind. He wanted to be there. Hell, he couldn’t picture not knowing Harry now. He knew what he was getting himself into by now. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be there for Harry. It was going to be complicated, but it was too late to turn away now.

"Goodnight Harry. I won’t leave you." Louis returned before giving him one last glance and slipping his hand into the young boy’s hand that was laying next to him.


	6. Chapter 6

When Harry woke up, he didn’t even have a thought about leaving. He honestly didn’t have the energy. Last night simply just overwhelmed him. So he just laid on side and watched Louis’ back, who was turned away from him. He watched his slow and steady breaths from behind, hearing his soft breath in the silence that they were both in. He sat there and just thought.

He thought about all the things he told Louis so far. It scared him to think that he could be so …open to someone he barely knew. He was startled when Louis shifted next to him, laying on his back now. Harry laid still, watching his peaceful sleeping face. His eyes wandered over his features - his lips were so  _pink_ as his tongue swept over them coating them. He was so - so  _pretty_. He looked so beautiful, like he didn’t have a care in the world while he slept and Harry wanted so badly just to lay against his chest and sleep in peace along with him. He realized that the night before was one of the first full-on night sleeps that he has had in a while. No nightmares woke him and it made him feel safe. Especially since Louis lay next to him, even if they weren’t touching. He focused back on the sleeping boy next to him. He lifted his hand and placed it on Louis’ arm slowly, which lay outside of the  blanket that was shared between the two of them. His fingers moved softly against his arms, watching as his fingertips moved a few of his arm hairs. He was touching Louis so lightly - like he was afraid that he would wake up any second. His eyes flickered from Louis’ arm to his face, checking to see if his eyes were open. After a few minutes, he pulled his arm back to himself and he closed his eyes, thinking.

* * *

 

_Right when Harry’s eyes opened, he knew what day it was. He knew it was going to be a shitty day because he knew that his Mum was going to be crazy. He didn’t even want to leave his bed, even the thought scared him. So he waited. He waited for his mum to stumble into his room in the middle of the afternoon, drunk. Because they both knew what day it was. The 2 year anniversary of his father’s death._

_Sure, his mum hit him. She hit him plenty of times. She was terrible to him. But on the one year since his father’s death, she was so much worse than she usually was to him. He didn’t even want to think about how she would be today. It seemed as if when time went on, she got worse and more violent. The love she had for her son was fading into the dark place where his mother used to be. Someone who used to be so happy and so loving to her son was gone. It was so hard for Harry to just leave - like his sister did a year ago._ _He should have just left with her - like she had practically begged him to. But he couldn’t just leave his mum behind. Her being so helpless and so sad, things turned around though. Harry, trying to be caring, turned into his mum’s personal punching bag to release her stress and anger. Then she started drinking, wasting her money on drugs, and sleeping around. Probably for more money for more drugs. Harry knew it too._

_He hated waking up in the middle of the night, hearing his mum walk inside around 4AM, laughing, drunk, then hearing another man’s voice with her. There were a couple of times when she would open Harry’s door and show the man that she brought home how she could hit Harry and Harry wouldn’t do anything back. And all the man would do was just laugh. Sometimes he really wanted to do something back, tell her to stop, anything. He knew that he should have done something a long time ago now - but he felt too guilty. She was his mother and he felt like maybe, just maybe, the women who loved him was still in there._

_When she does open the door that morning, she walks over and pulls his hair. She yanks it, pulling him out of his bed and onto the floor. Harry sits up, “What the hell?!” He shouts at her._

_She stands in front of him, a bottle of vodka in one hand, and a knife in the other. It was a normal knife though, nothing too serious, but it was still a knife. She gave him a wicked smile before swatting the knife towards him, “Remember what day it is?” She said, missing Harry’s hand by a few centimeters. “2 years ago you killed Daddy. All your fault,” Her words slurred, “If I wouldn’t have had you, you fucking piece of trash, I’d still have him. I would fucking kill you, you worthless bitch, just for him to come back. But I can’t now. He’s already dead," She threw the bottle next to Harry, the glass shattered. Some glass got stuck in Harry’s arm as he cursed softly under his breath. His mum began to sob, “You deserve to die,” She whispered, crying harder, falling to the ground next to Harry._

_“Mum.. It wasn’t my fault.. Please just stop.. we can go through this together. You don’t have to be alone..” Harry said, his eyes swelled up with tears along with his mum. He leaned over and laid his hand on her back lightly._

_“Oh. but it is your fault,” She said shaking her head and letting out a laugh. She shoved Harry off of her and stood up. She grabbed whatever was on Harry’s desk and began to throw them at him. First, a vase. She threw it at full force. It collided with his face, shattering instantly._

_Harry chocked back a sob, “Stop,” He could feel blood dripping down his neck, he ignored it though. He could barely breath at everything that was happening right now._

_She then grabbed his stereo. She threw it and it hit his chest. He let out a gasp because he knew it must have at least broken his rib, "please," He whimpered._

_She continued doing this for the whole day - punishing him, until she passed out on the couch later than Harry thought she would. When she did, Harry immediately ran to the park, calling Louis._

* * *

 

The memories from yesterday were interrupted when he felt someone’s fingertips brushing against his cheeks. He opened his eyes - realizing how tightly he had his eyes shut closed. He realized he had tears falling rapidly down his cheeks and onto the blanket next to him. He opened his mouth and a startling sobbing noise choked out of his throat. Louis moved closer to Harry and laid his arm around his waist, “Shh..” He whispered, kissing the top of Harry’s head.

Harry snuggled into his chest, crying harder. “I-I’m s-sorry,” Harry cried, glancing back up at Louis. Tears still fell but he was able to catch his breath.

“You’re okay..” Louis said quietly, wiping away the tears that fell. Harry closed his eyes at the gentle touch from the boy.

“No, I’m not. I’m so fucking messed up. Why couldn’t I just be born into a normal family? Why can’t I have a normal Christmas anymore and birthday parties like everyone else does? I remember when my mum and dad would wake me up with a cake on my birthday. I would always rub it in my sister’s face because she would never get one, because I felt special. I miss it so much. I miss  _him._ ” He said, wiping away a few tears, “Why did Aiden have to fucking die..? He didn’t deserve it.  _Fuck, I miss him so much._ ” He murmured to himself softly.

Louis stayed silent for a few minutes, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to ask Harry. But he did, “Who was Aiden..? I heard you mention him a few times..” Harry stayed silent, seeming as if he was trying to stop himself from crying harder. “You don’t have to answer.. I was just curious. Sorry—”

“No, it’s okay..” He sighed, shifting his position next Louis. It seemed as if he pressed  _closer_ to him, “He was ..m-my best friend.. God, we were inseparable. We did so much stupid stuff together..” He felt his lips wobble and he couldn’t even continue talking, he was running out of breath because of how many tears were falling.

“I don’t want to make you cry. You can tell me about him another time. Yeah?” Louis asked, brushing some of his curls out of his face. Harry nodded once and closed his eyes.

“Did Eleanor see me?”

“I don’t think so.” He smiled, moving another curl out of Harry’s face. 

“I’m going to call my friend Niall and see if I can stay at his house,” He paused, opening his eyes and looking up at Louis, spotting his frown, “I heard your fight with Eleanor and I’m not going to be a reason for you guys to get into fights.”

“It was hardly even a fight. I was just telling her that you could stay here for as long as you wanted and she didn’t want to lose her job because of it.”

Harry gave him a weak smile because Louis  _wanted_ him to stay. Someone finally wanted him to stay instead of wanting him to leave. And he wanted to stay, but he knew he couldn’t. He felt wanted, something he hasn’t felt in such a long time. 

“I’ll be fine,” He smiled softly, “Promise.”

“Fine. But if he won’t let you stay, you’re coming back here. Promise on that?”

“Yes Lou. I promise.” He grinned, closing his eyes again, with his face pressed against Louis. 


	7. Chapter 7

It was around 6:00 when Niall arrived to pick Harry up and take him to his home. Harry had just gotten into the shower and Eleanor had some meeting to go to so it was just Louis who had to keep him company. When Louis heard a light knock on the door, he got up off of the couch and opened it. He found a blonde boy with blue eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but Niall spoke first - his Irish accent obvious. 

"Hi mate, Harry’s here, yeah?" He asked, peaking into the house. 

"Yeah, he’s in the shower. You can come in and wait for him, if you’d like. I’m Louis by the way. Niall right?"

Niall walked inside, giving Louis a nod. “Yep, Nialler it is!” He let out a loud laugh and walked over to Louis’ couch, sitting down. Louis joined him and sat next to him giving him a grin. They didn’t talk for a few minutes, just them watching TV until Niall spoke, “You must be something special, eh?” He glanced at Louis, tearing his gaze from the TV.

"Excuse me?" Louis asked, confused. He turned and looked at Niall who shifted himself on the couch. 

"Just for you to get Harry to open up to you so quickly, something has to be special. I’ve known him since we were 10 and he told me about his mum just a few months ago. How long have you known him?"

"A few weeks," Louis mumbled, watching Niall shrug.

"Then there’s something about that allows himself to trust you. It’s good though, he needs to learn to trust more people. Lately he seems like he doesn’t even trust himself sometimes. How much did he tell you?"

"A lot," Louis said, searching in Niall’s blue eyes for something but he wasn’t sure what it was.

"Now that he has your trust, you better not let him down. He’s been on rock bottom for 2 years, dealing with his dad and Aiden. He’s just starting to look like the old Harry. You fuck him over, he’ll be back down there, maybe there for good."

"I won’t fuck him ov—"

"You better not. You seem like a good guy, Louis. He tell you about Aiden?" Niall asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Somewhat.." 

Niall shook his head, “Great guy.. Never seen Harry so upset though. Not even when his own father died. Harry loved him so much. After that, he was just  _gone._  Not physically, just, like emotionally drained. I didn’t see him for months and when I finally saw him, he looked like  _shit_. When you get to know him though, he’s the sweetest and funniest fucker you’ll ever meet. He’s always there for you when you need him. He’s just an amazing guy, Louis. God, I just sounded so gay for him. Don’t worry, It’s just Harry who is. Not me.”

There was a pause of silence until Louis spoke, “Wait, ..Harry’s gay?” Louis asked quietly, his eyes widening.

"Oh.. He didn’t tell you? Well, shit.. My bad. Well, yeah.. He and Aiden were dating - dated for like three years.. Never seen him so happy. They literally never left each other’s side.. Practically lived in each other's pockets."

Louis’ heart suddenly ached for Harry. He knew why Harry took Aiden’s death so hard, why he could barely ever talk about it without crying or basically hyperventilating. He felt bad for bringing him up just this morning, he wanted to just hug Harry and tell him that it’ll be fine. That Aiden would want him to be happy now.

"Hi Niall!" He heard a cheerful voice behind him. Turning around, he saw Harry standing there. He was wearing one of Louis’s shirts and the jeans he wore the day before that he had washed. His eyes were brighter than usual at just the sight of his friend.

"Harry!" Niall shrieked and jumped off of the couch. He ran to Harry, who’s arms were open and waiting for Niall. He jumped into Harry’s arms and Harry let out a laugh, catching the boy. Louis caught himself smiling at the two boys in front of him messing around. Harry actually looked happy. Happier than he had looked the whole day. Harry glanced over at Louis, giving him a wide smile. It caused Louis to return it - happy to see Harry smiling.

"When is Eleanor supposed to come back?" Harry asked, putting Niall back on the ground and watching Louis, who shrugged.

"Eleanor?—" Niall began but Harry interrupted him.

"Ms. Calder."

"Oh my fucking god. Holy fucking shit, you’re her boyfriend!" He yelled, looking at Louis, "That’s where I’ve seen you. You were at school a few weeks ago. Wait, Harry you’ve been staying with Ms. Calder?!" He was jumping now excitedly.

"I honestly don’t really talk to her that much Niall. Calm down. And I’ve stayed here like ..twice."

"Oh so you’ve just been hooking up with her boyfriend, eh?" He grinned, giving Harry and Louis a wink. Louis immediately turned a bright red and coughed awkwardly.

"No, Louis is just nice enough to help me out. It’s all innocent," Harry smiled lightly, "We should probably go," He added, Niall nodded in agreement. 

Harry turned awkwardly to Louis, “I’m probably going to school on Wednesday.. You should come and visit Eleanor or—”

"Or say I’m going to visit Eleanor but so I can just see you?" Louis teased shakily, laughing lightly at his attempt to make Harry smile.

Harry’s mouth turned into a grin, blushing lightly, “Yeah..” He breathed. Louis smiled back, happy that he made Harry smile for once.

"Are you guys sure you aren’t fuck buddies?" Niall asked, watching the both of them.

"Oh my god Niall. Go wait in the car," Harry laughed, pushing him out of the door. He turned back to Louis, "Thank again, for  _everything_ ,” He breathed, taking an awkward step forward to hug Louis slowly - unsure of what he was going to do. But Louis hugged him back, burrowing his face into Harry’s shoulder. He realized that Harry was taller than him, but not too much taller than him. He never really noticed it before though. Harry pulled away and gave him another awkward smile before walking out of the door.

* * *

 

Over the next few days, Harry would text Louis Every once in a while. They would usually say something like, ‘ _i’m alright .x_ ' or ' _don’t worry about me ;)'_  because he knew that Louis would be going insane if he didn't know if everything was okay. He knew asking Eleanor if he could come by the school Wednesday was going to be weird, but he honestly didn't care.

"Hey Eleanor, can I come by the school tomorrow?" Louis asked in the most innocent way he could manage. He took a sharp breath before looking up to meet Eleanor’s confused stare.

Eleanor frowned slightly, raising her eyebrows a bit, “Uh, yeah. Sure, if you’d like to. I don’t think Harry will be there though.”

"Um.. Sorry for wanting to visit _my_ _girlfriend_?” He said, panicking a little.

"No, no, I’m sorry. It’s just things have been so ..off lately between us. Of course you can come by." 

"Okay." Louis smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. 

* * *

 

Like he had a few weeks before, around noon, Louis was at the school. He felt even more nervous as he stood outside of her room. He was going to see Harry. He smiled a little bit, picturing the boy’s face. His stupid little grin he did rarely around Louis, but when he did, it lit up the room. God that was so cheesy, but it was scary how true it really was. He took a few deep breaths and knocked lightly on the door. A few seconds later, Niall opened it.

"Louis!" He smiled cheerfully.

Louis smiled, “Hey Niall,” He walked inside the classroom as Niall returned to his seat. He glanced at Eleanor, who gave him a smile, in which he returned one. He began to walk over to her desk, his eyes scanned the crowded classroom that didn’t change at all since the last time he was here. He spotted Harry - who’s head was down - but it raised when he saw someone walk by. Their eyes met and Harry’s mouth twitched into a grin. Louis smiled back and turned away to look at Eleanor.

"Hi, babe," He smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Hi," She smiled back, but it went away after a few seconds. "Funny how when you come, Harry’s back."

"Um.. I don’t know what you’re talking about.."

"Whatever you say," She said, giving him a fake smile and walked to the front of the classroom to continue the lesson.

* * *

 

When the class came to an end, Louis was at Eleanor’s desk with his head down. Eleanor was picking up some stuff that some of the students left behind when she noticed Harry stop by her desk and talk to Louis. Louis’ head popped up when he noticed someone floating around him, “Oh. Hey,” He smiled spotting Harry, “Told you that I’d come.”

"I know," He smiled. "Do you maybe wanna.. hang out later or something..?" He asked softly.

"Y-Yeah, that would be awesome.. Just text me or whatever when you want.." 

"Hi Harry," Eleanor said, approaching them and interrupting Louis’ and Harry’s conversation.

"Oh, Hi Ms. Calder," He gave her a polite smile, "I should probably go.. Niall's probably about to leave me. Uh, See you tomorrow." He rushed out of the room.

"What was that?" Eleanor asked, glancing at Louis. 

"Eleanor, what don’t you understand? Harry and I are  _friends._ Okay? Friends talk. Friends hang out with each other. He trusts me. There’s so much more to him than you know-“

"And there’s stuff that  _you_  know?” Eleanor raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, I do actually. Like I said, he trusts me.." Louis said, standing up and pinching Eleanor’s cheek lightly, "Come on babe. Let’s go home."

* * *

 

"I’m tired of being the only person in this relationship who’s actually committing to it and working hard for it!" Eleanor yelled, glaring at Louis.

The glare burned, “What are you trying to say?” Louis asked coldly. The silence was filling the air and it was almost like screaming. He hated it so much. He hated fighting with anyone that he cared with.

"It’s just, every time you want something you never work hard for it. Because you give up easily and I feel like you’re slipping away from this relationship. Maybe you’re scared about something. I just want Louis back,  _my_ Louis. Get a job maybe. Don’t depend on your father for every  _fucking_ thing. I’m so tired of this.”

"Tired of this? You mean, you’re tired of me." He bit his lip, rolling his eyes at Eleanor who was in front of him. Louis stood up, making his way out of the house with Eleanor calling behind him.

"That’s your problem. You run away from things when they get too hard for you. When you get scared."

He heard her, but he just kept walking. He had heard this speech a few times from his father, telling him that he ‘gave up to quickly’ or like Eleanor said, he ran away from things that took effort from him. Sometimes, he believed it. Louis kept walking until he was out of the house and on the sidewalk. It was around 9:30 when he felt his phone lightly buzzing in his pockets, thinking it was Eleanor, he opened it preparing himself for her apology but he was surprised when he saw Harry’s name.  

_'I know it's late.. Wanna meet at the park? .x'_

**‘ _Yes please..’_**

_'I'll be there in a few minutes. You alright?”_

_**'Eh.'** _

* * *

 

When Louis arrived just ten minutes later, he already spotted Harry. He was sitting in the grass looking up at the stars. When he heard Louis approach him, he turned his head and gave him a smile. He shifted in his position on the grass but Louis walked over and sat next to him. 

"Hi," Louis said quietly.

"Hi," Harry smiled, watching Louis as he looked around. His eyes wandered up to the stars then back to Harry. "You okay?" He asked softly.

"Just problems with the girlfriend." Louis rolled his eyes.

"Wanna talk about it?" Harry murmured, laying back down on the grass. To his surprise, Louis laid down right next to him. He scooted a bit closer to Harry to where their sides were touching. Their eyes were both locked on the starry sky above them.

"Do you think I give up on things easily?" Louis asked suddenly.

Silence passed for about a minute until Harry spoke quietly, “Well.. You didn’t give up on me.”


	8. Chapter 8

 

“Well.. You didn’t give up on me.”

"Of course I didn’t." Louis said softly, turning to face Harry. The only way he could see his face is because of the bright moon above them. Harry turned and faced Louis too, giving him a small smile. Louis returned it and shifted back to his original position - looking up in the sky, "Do you come here a lot?" Louis asked.

"Yeah. I try to every night. It just, brings back a lot of memories. Good ones and bad ones," Harry sighed, closing his eyes. Louis glanced over at him, knowing who he was talking about. Especially since Niall told him about Aiden.

"Can I ask you something?" Louis asked. Harry opened his eyes and glanced at Louis. Before answering, Louis continued. "It’s just Niall said something the other day about ..Aiden. You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to."

"Let me guess what it was." Harry said, his eyes glued on the sky. Louis stared at him as he spoke, "He told you that Aiden and I dated and that I was gay, right?" There was a pause of silence, he started to sit up, "Look if you have a problem with me being gay—" 

"No!" Louis said, grabbing his arm, "I don’t have a problem with you being gay. Not at all. I was just wondering.. why you didn’t tell me about you two.."

Harry took a deep breath, laying back down. This time he laid on his side, facing Louis. They both stared at each other with intense eyes, “I don’t know. I felt like you wouldn’t really have cared about hearing about him.. That it wasn’t really that important to tell you..”

"Of course it’s important, Harry," Louis whispered, "Niall told me that you guys were together for three years.. If you would’ve told me about him, I would’ve never asked—"

"I want you to know about him— us. What happened. Sure, it’s hard to talk about him and yes.. I miss him a lot. I miss him so fucking much and I feel so lonely sometimes, but I want you to know. Because I honestly don’t feel as lonely as I used to feel since I met you." Harry said, his eyes didn’t once leave Louis. Louis stayed silent as Harry continued, "You know, he was the first person I told about the whole mom situation," He sighed, trying to find the words, but they weren’t coming.

"You don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard.." Louis whispered.

"No, I want to," Harry said immediately, "The first time she hit me was when I left his house… It was the day that my dad died. I was supposed to come home that night at 10:30. My mum was going to call me and ask me if I was ready, but him and I were messing around or whatever and I ignored my phone. She called me 7 times then just texted me with a,  _'hope you have a key. have fun walking home.'_ it wasn’t in a mean way at all, it was just a way that she was trying to pass a message on. I fell asleep at his house,” He sighed, closing his eyes.

He could feel his eyes stinging with tears. Louis could sense how upset Harry was feeling. He leaned over and took Harry’s hand. Harry squeezed Louis hand tightly before continuing with the memory that stayed so  _clear_ in his mind. He hated it.

"So, when I woke up.. Aiden and his family had to go to his Grandma’s house. They invited me but I knew that my parents would’ve been so mad if I went, especially since I missed their curfew. So I called my d-dad and asked if he could pick me up. I knew my mum wasn’t going to, judging from the messages from the night before. I could hear my mum in the background getting mad at him because he was saying that he was going to pick me up. I remember her saying something like, ‘make him learn his lesson!’ or something.." He sighed, "So.. he told me that he was going to get me. I was waiting outside of Aiden’s house for them, we only lived like 15 minutes away - if you drove. But about an hour passed and he wasn’t answering any of my phone calls.. So I kinda figured that he wasn’t going to pick me up. That maybe my mum talked him out of it. So I started walking him. It took a while, considering that I was walking so fucking slow." He let out a small chuckle at the memory,

"When I got to my house, my mum wasn’t there. I was really confused. So I got into the house through my window, since I didn’t have a key. I remember just sitting on the couch when she came in about two hours later. She was crying and I stood up to see what was wrong. She punched me in the face. And damn, she punched me so fucking hard, I didn’t even know she was  _that_ strong. I was so just,  _surprised_ that she did that. She began to just slap me and hit me repeatably. Then she just fell to the floor crying. I’ve never seen her crying so hard before.. Then she stood up and told my that my father was killed on his way over to pick me up. By a drunk driver, in the middle of the fucking day.” He sighed, but relaxed when Louis squeezed his hand lightly, telling him he was okay basically. “She blamed me, and still blames me to this day. I believe her sometimes though.—”

"No. Don’t even say that. It wasn’t your fault, it was the drunk driver’s fault Harry." Louis interrupted. 

"But if I would’ve just went home when they asked me to, this wouldn’t have happened. That’s why when I first met you, I was scared of missing my stupid curfew. They - curfews, just freak me out after that. It sounds so stupid, but it’s just how I am now." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"It’s not stupid at all." Louis whispered, his finger played with a curl that was lingering on his forehead. Harry gave him a weak smile before continuing.

"So basically after that, my mom told me that I couldn’t see Aiden anymore. She told me that he was apart of the reason that Dad had died.. She didn’t even know that Aiden and I were dating. Well, we never told her. So we had to do a lot of sneaking around. Four days after my dad died, it was around midnight or so.. we snuck out here. We came here  _a lot._  This place is just filled with so many memories..” He sighed, “He was waiting for me and I was hiding in the bushes, I was going to scare him.. But I was caught off-guard when some guy just came out of nowhere. I just watched as the guy took out a gun and  _shot_ Aiden.” Harry whispered, trembling now. Louis reached over and rubbed his arm lightly, “I didn’t do  _anything._ I watched as the bastard ran away,  _then_ I went to him. God, he was bleeding to death in my fucking arms. I rode with him on the way to the hospital.. but he was good as dead.” His eyes were burning as tears began to fall. He hated crying in front of people, especially Louis now. 

There was a silence, it was actually relaxing. Louis just kept massaging Harry’s curls or played with their fingers - which were still tangled. It was comforting.

"I’m so sorry Harry… You don’t deserve to go through any of this.." Louis finally spoke, "Four days?"

"Yep.. in four days I lost the two people I cared most about.. Then I stopped talking to Niall. I felt so .. _lost._  It was the first time I did this..” He said quietly, moving some bracelets away from his wrist. There were some scars that laid there, “I don’t know.. Every time I see these, they just bring back every single memory and every single time I did it,” Louis let out a soft gasp. He stared at the wrist then back up at Harry who was giving him a weak smile. Louis grabbed his hand, bringing his wrist up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss along the scars as if he was trying to get rid of all the bad memories. It caused Harry to give him a wide smile before continuing his story, “But Niall and I began talking again and god, he’s helped me through so much.” Harry said with a smile still played on his face, “Anyways.. Enough about me. Tell me about you.”

"What do you wanna know?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrows. Their fingers were still intertwined in between them as they lay on the grass. They felt like they were hiding from the world. Louis knew it was wrong, but  _god_ it felt so right. He just wished they could stay there forever. He felt like he was almost haunted at the vision of Aiden dying here, in this park. But he knew it was special to Harry so he was going to stay.

"I don’t know." Harry shrugged. "20 Questions?" He smiled.

"Sure, you can ask me first."

There was a pause as Harry was thinking what to ask Louis. “What’s your family like?” Harry asked, closing his eyes at Louis’ voice.

"Well.. There’s my mum. She’s the sweetest lady I’ve ever met, not just because she’s my mum. She’s just so caring and she’s always there for me. I can tell her anything. Then there’s my dad. I don’t have a bad relationship with him, he just expects too much from me. More than I can give him usually, but he’s a good man. Then there’s my four sisters - Lottie, Phoebe, Daisy, and Felicite. I love them all to death. My household is pretty crazy at some points, but I love it. I miss them a lot." Louis spoke, smiling at the crazy memories he had of his family. 

Harry turned and glanced at him again, “So you’re the only boy besides your father?”

"Yep. All girls." He laughed. "Your turn. Um.. Who’s your favorite singer?" Louis smiled, trying to avoid any questions that involved Harry’s past.

"Definitely Ed Sheeran." Harry grinned, "My Dad and I used to take a few of my old friends up to this beach house place and we would sit around a campfire and we would just sing. But now that he’s not here, when Niall and I get bored he usually plays guitar and I’ll sing some Ed sheeran." He laughed.

"Are you any good at singing?" Louis smiled.

"Uh.." Harry began unsure of himself honestly.

"Sing for me." Louis grinned, sitting up. He faced him, pouting when Harry shook his head no, "Please Harry. For me?" 

"What if I suck? You’re going to start laughing at me then I’m never going to sing ever again," He teased. He was still lying on his back as he watched Louis lean over him. He could feel his body heat as his face got a little closer to Harry’s. He wanted to just grab him and pull him down with him and just forget about the rest of the world. Just him and Louis. But he knew he couldn’t. Louis had a girlfriend, he was straight. That was the problem. That was why Harry kept telling himself to not get too attached because it wasn’t going anywhere. 

"I won’t laugh. I’m sure you’re a better singer than I am."

"What am I supposed to sing?" Harry asked. He never sang for anyone except Niall in these past few years. His eyes watched as Louis laid next to him again, this time he was even closer. His head was rested against Harry’s shoulder. It just felt so  _natural_. 

"Some Ed Sheeran. I don’t know," Louis smiled against him.

Harry laid there for a few more minutes, his heart was racing. He was honestly scared. He could humiliate himself in front of Louis. He knew Louis wouldn’t judge him, but it was scary. It scared him how Louis was  _this_ close to him and he had a girlfriend. “Fine.” Harry muttered, moving away from Louis to sit up. 

Louis joined him and watched Harry as he closed his eyes. Harry cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He opened his mouth and began to sing a few lyrics that were in the song, 

_Yeah I’ve been feeling everything_  
 _From hate to love_  
F _rom love to lust_  
 _From lust to truth_  
 _I guess that’s how I know you  
_ _So I hold you close to help you give it up_

He glanced at Louis as he continued to sing, his voice surprised Louis. He was good.. He was actually great. Better than Louis could ever think that he was. Louis watched him with a smile that was pretty much locked on his face. Harry’s face was burning pink - he was slightly embarrassed.

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
 _You wanna be loved_  
 _You wanna be loved_  
 _This feels like falling in love_  
 _Falling in love  
_ _We’re falling in love_

He stopped singing, hesitating before looking up to meet Louis’ eyes. Louis’ eyes were burning with intensity. He honestly never heard someone sing so .. _beautifully._ Louis’ heart was pounding at the sight of Harry. He looked so open and so tragically beautiful. 

Without thinking Louis leaned forward, pressing his lips roughly to Harry’s. It was different from kissing a girl, like he was used to, but it was a  _good_ different. He honestly couldn’t ever see himself kissing any other guy besides Harry. Harry responded to the kiss immediately, tangling his fingers in Louis’ hair. Louis shifted to where he was straddling Harry, who was sitting on the grass still. Harry pressed his tongue against Louis’ lips, begging for an entrance. Louis opened his mouth, allowing Harry’s tongue to explore. A groan escaped his mouth as Harry’s tongue brushed against his own. The kiss deepened continued like this for a few minutes until Louis pulled away panting. He got off of Harry slowly, “I-I’m sorry. I have to go.” He said standing up and brushing himself off. He walked off quickly, leaving Harry feeling rejected.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry could feel his eyes burning with tears as he walked home. He cursed at himself silently, wondering why he even let Louis kiss him like that. Especially how far it got. But god, it felt so fucking good.  _So hot._  He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he kissed someone like  _that,_  besides Aiden.But Louis ran away from him. It hurt honestly, he knew it shouldn’t though. Especially since Louis’ the one who kissed  _him._  He wanted to just scream and hide away forever, especially after tonight. God he was humiliated. He took a deep breath before opening Niall’s door with the spare key that they gave him. He found Niall sitting on the couch, glancing up at him.

"Where have you been for the past hour and a half?" Niall asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Just.. Uh, out," He answered, taking off his shoes and sitting next to Niall. He tried not to cry. He didn’t want Niall to see him like this, he had seen him way too many times in this state of emotion.

"Out where?" Niall asked, his eyes glued on Harry. He knew there was something up, he knew his best friend.

"I.. I met Louis at the park. That’s all," Harry muttered, knowing he couldn’t lie to Niall. He propped up his arm with his elbow and leaned against his hand.

"You met Louis? What about Eleanor, Harry? Ever thought that she isn’t okay with you, her student, running around with her boyfriend. I know you like him, it’s written all over your fucking face."

"Of course I’ve thought of that. Fuck, that’s all I think of when Louis and I hang out. But.." He trailed off, staring at his hands. "I forgot what it felt like to feel so ..wanted. I-I— Louis kissed me tonight. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so.." He trailed off, glancing at Niall.

There was a soft gasp then a, “Get some Harry,” From the blonde.

"He ran off after it though. I swear there’s something wrong with me," Harry said quietly, taking deep breaths to try to control his emotions. He knew it wouldn’t work in the end. He just hoped it lasted until he was alone.

"There’s nothing wrong with you, I swear. Maybe.. you should text him.." Niall offered.

"Yeah, I think I will. Anyways, I’m going to bed. Night Niall, love you," Harry stood up, patting Niall on the head before making his way into his room. He stripped himself before throwing on some of his sweats and a t-shirt that Louis had loaned him. He found himself loving the way that Louis smelled. Like he felt safe when he wrapped up in his scent. He honestly just wanted to just hide away forever from the cruel world. He grabbed his phone, finding Louis’ number, and typed out ‘ _I’m sorry about tonight. I hope things are okay between us.’_ then laid in his bed, waiting for a reply that never came.

* * *

 

About a month passes and Harry doesn’t hear from Louis. It frustrated him so much. It hurt. It hurt like hell because he fucking missed Louis more than anything. He knew things were okay with him, that nothing tragic happened to Louis. Eleanor would sometimes get phone calls during class and she would answer them with a ‘Hey Lou,’ or something like that. Of course, it made Harry die a little more inside. Louis was avoiding him and it was obvious. He had called Louis at least once a day. Sometimes he just wanted to hear his stupid voicemail to hear his voice. To hear the voice that he learned to trust and it gave him more reasons to never trust anyone. He just though that Louis was different. Sometimes when he needed someone to just talk to he would just talk into the voicemail, talking about his day or just a quick update on his life. It sounded creepy, but it kept him going. 

Louis on the other hand, hated seeing his phone light up with Harry’s name. He hated having to watch his name go away - telling him that Harry hung up before the voicemail even came sometimes. He hated listening to his voicemails. He hated it because he missed him too. He knew he couldn’t do anything that Harry would want him to do. He didn’t want to let Harry down. He didn’t even know if he was ..gay or if he was willing to just drop everything to someone who wasn’t even sure about him. It took everything in him to not just go to the park and just wait. He knew that Harry was there, but he knew he couldn’t do it. He was scared.

It was about 11:00 and Louis was on the couch, watching a random movie that was on TV. It was Friday so he knew that Eleanor was out late with a few of her friends. Probably drinking or something. He heard a soft knock on the door. He stood up, thinking it was Eleanor coming home early, but he was surprised when he found Harry standing at his door. Their eyes met, Louis’ heart was pounding. He immediately wanted to just cry and tell him how sorry he was for ignoring every time he had called or texted him. 

"C-Can we talk?" Harry asked quietly, his eyes stayed on Louis who opened the door wider. 

"Yeah," Louis whispered, following Harry back to the couch. His hands were sweating at the sight of the boy, who he had kissed, in his house. Next to him. And looking incredibly good looking, but it was obvious that he didn’t even know how gorgeous he was. He actually looked like shit, he had dark circles and he seemed paler than normal. They both just stared at each other. Harry broke the silence first.

"Look.. I  _know_  i’m fucked up. I know there is so much shit wrong with me and I understand if you don’t even want anything to do with me.. Just, is that so hard to just tell me? After how we left it? God, I’ve fucking hated myself after that night. Especially since you haven’t answered my calls or anything,” He shook his head, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for kissing you. I’m sorry for being fucked up. I’m sorry for being gay. I’m sorry for liking you. I’m sorry for wanting to be your friend. I’m so—”

"Stop," Harry froze, staring at Louis as he moved closer to Harry, "God I missed you," Louis mumbled, leaning his face against Harry’s shoulder. 

Harry stayed frozen, scared that if he made a sudden movement that Louis would recoil and force him out of his life once again. He didn’t know if he could handle it again honestly. “I miss you too.” He choked out quietly, closing his eyes as Louis pressed his face into the nape of his neck. He could feel Louis’ soft warm breaths every few seconds, causing his hair on his neck to stand up. 

Their moment was interrupted when Louis’ phone rang, causing the both of them to jump. Louis grabbed it quickly, glancing at Harry. He answered it, “Hello?”

_"Hey dude. Party at my house, wanna come?"_

"Oh, hey Zayn, um.." He watched Harry as he spoke, "Can I bring someone?" 

_"Yeah, bring whoever. Can’t wait to see you dude! it’s been too long!"_

"It’s been like a week," Louis said, chuckling, his eyes moved away from Harry for the first time since the phone call began.

_"Exactly. It’s been too long."_

"Will I accidentally interrupt you and Liam fucking again?" Louis laughed.

 _"Oi! Shut up! My business. Bye,"_ He could almost hear Zayn roll his eyes as he hung up, leaving Louis laughing as he hung up his phone and looked at Harry.

"One of my best mates, Zayn, is having party now. You wanna come?" Louis smiled, standing up off of the couch.

 ”Y-Yeah, I do.. But I..” Harry frowned, looking at his fingers as he fiddled with them.

"What’s wrong?" Louis asked frowning along with Harry. He walked back over and sat next to Harry again. "Tell me," He said quietly when Harry didn’t answer, nuzzling his noise into Harry’s arm.

"I don’t drink.. I don’t want to embarrass you. First because you’re bringing  _me._ And the fact that I’m younger and I don’t drink.”

"Can I ask you why you don’t drink?" Louis asked, looking up at him.

"All I think of is how my dad died from a drunk driver and that’s why I hate it. I just don’t want to be one of those people who is stupid and kills some innocent person because I had one too many drinks." Harry sighed. "I’m sorry if that’s stupid—"

"No, it’s not. It’s fine, just come with me. I won’t drink too." Louis smiled. He loved how innocent Harry truly was. 

"No, I want you to have a good time. Seriously. I’ll come, but you have fun. Okay?" He gave him a soft smile and Louis nodded, returning the smile. All their problems from a month ago forgotten in just the few minutes they were in each other’s presence. 

* * *

 

"What if your friends don’t like me?" Harry asked quietly, looking up at Louis with a worried face.

Louis let out a laugh. He leaned over, softly pinching his cheeks quickly, “They will. Don’t worry. Liam is the sweetest guy ever and basically accepts  _everyone._  Then there’s Zayn, Liam’s boyfriend. When he’s sober, he’s quiet at first but he’s fucking weird. I love them to death though.” Louis smiled, “Liam doesn’t drink either, so if you lose me, find him.”

"Okay," Harry said softly.

"You’ll be fine. Just stay with me, Liam, or Zayn the whole time to make sure no one spikes your drink," Louis joked, glancing at Harry who had wide eyes, "I’m kidding! Loosen up!"

~

"So you’re  _the_  famous Harry?” Liam asked, holding his hand out to Harry.

Harry shook it, smiling shyly, ”Y-Yeah, I guess.”

Louis looked around, “Where’s Zayn?”

"Why the fuck would I know?" Liam laughed, looking around with Louis. He noticed Louis move a bit closer to Harry, protectively. He raised his eyebrow as Louis met his eyes but Louis looked away quickly almost like he knew what Liam was going to say.

"He’s  _your_ boyfriend. Just thought that you would know, that’s all," Louis rolled his eyes. 

"Louis!" He heard a familiar voice yell from behind him. The three of them turned around, meeting Zayn’s eyes. "Aye dude!" Zayn smiled, bumping his fist against Louis’ before pulling him into a hug. He was obviously drunk already, Louis could smell the alcohol on him. Zayn then turned to Liam and gave him a wink before noticing the extra person. "Oh." 

"This is Harry." Louis said simply, "Harry, this is Zayn."

"Oh, so you’re the one he won’t shut up about," Zayn laughed, his words slurring.

These words caused Harry’s face to burn pink. He glanced at Louis who was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, avoiding his eyes from meeting Harry’s. It caused Harry to smile, but he bit it back. Louis was embarrassed so it must have mean something. He didn’t want to get his hopes up though, like he did in the past. 

"Come on dude, let’s go get fuckkkeddd." He slurred again, grabbing Louis’ arm. "Wanna come Harrehh?" 

Harry shook his head politely, “No thanks.” He smiled. Louis looked at him, raising his eyebrows, “Go have fun, Lou. I’m not going anywhere.” He gave him another smile and watched as Louis and Zayn ran off somewhere. He turned back awkwardly to Liam.

"Louis and Zayn are basically attatched to the hip. When I first met them, I swear I thought  _they_ were gay,” He laughed.

Harry frowned, maybe Louis was like this with everyone. It made his blood rush, but he shook it off. Liam noticed, “Look, I don’t know you that well, but Louis likes you. He just ..shows it differently than he does with a lot of people. He talks about you, but never says anything too personal. I respect him a lot for it, that’s why I know he likes you. He keeps you so..  _secretive._  I’ve just never seen him so ..interested in something -  _someone_ before.” Liam smiled.

It made Harry grin before he stared down at his shoes, “He’s just helped me through a lot. We’ve become just really good friends I guess.”

Liam laughed loudly, “Yeah. Really good friends. That’s why you’re over there blushing and smiling like a fucking bastard.” 

Harry shrugged, a smile still played on his lips. He liked Liam. “He’s straight and has a girlfriend.” 

"Coming from his best friend, who is actually gay, Louis never has acted the way he does around you around Eleanor. I’m not trying to throw Eleanor under the bus, I’m just being honest. He’d kill me if he knew that I told you that. Around you, he acts like the gayest straight guy I’ve ever seen."

Harry let out a laugh before frowning and shrugging again. “I just.. I honestly don’t think anything could ever happen between us..”

"Then why are you still here, with him?"

"Because I forgot what I felt like to be wanted by someone." Harry said quietly. "Or maybe because I’m hoping that something  _will_ happen.”


	10. Chapter 10

A few hours later, Zayn and Louis were unbelievably drunk. It was reaching close to 2:30AM. They finished doing their last shots before they both staggered over to where Liam and Harry were standing. The people were starting to disappear slowly as the time went on and after the more drunk Louis and Zayn got. It made Harry a little nervous how drunk Louis was. He was sweaty and a mess, but he made it look so attractive, so fucking  _hot_. Liam caught Zayn in his arms as they reached each other. 

"Lou, I’m guessing you’re crashing here. Harry? Do you need a ride home or do you wanna stay too? Or..?" Liam offered.

"I should probably go back to Niall’s—"

“ _No!_ " Louis shouted almost, he stumbled forward, grabbing Harry’s hands. "Stay with me," He mumbled, pulling Harry into a surprised hug - more of an embrace.

"O-Okay." Harry stuttered, peering over Louis’ shoulder to look at Liam - who was smiling. He winked at Harry, causing Harry’s face to turn a shade of pink.

"We should all have a foursome," Zayn suggested, grinning at Liam. This caused Liam and Harry to burst out laughing, "I mean, you’re hot," Zayn pointed at Louis, "Liam’s hot, Harry’s hot," He slurred, " _I’m_  hot.” 

"You would like that, wouldn’t you babe?" Liam laughed, grabbing Zayn’s hand, "Let’s go to sleep. Your head is gonna kill you in the morning," He chuckled.  

After Liam and Zayn said their goodnights, Louis and Harry were left alone in a random room that Louis claimed as ‘his room when he stayed over.’ Harry could feel his heart jumping out of chest as he glanced at Louis, unsure of what he was planning to do. Louis stripped off his shirt, not really acknowledging Harry. Harry stared as Louis threw his shirt on the floor, swallowing. Louis got into bed and watched Harry, “Are you coming to sleep or..?”

"Yeah," He said, a smile played on his lips as he crawled up into the bed with Louis. Louis pulled the blanket up for him as he got under. As soon as the blanket was over the both of them, Louis tangled their legs causing Harry to freeze at the touch but he relaxed almost immediately.

"I was scared, you know," Louis said quietly, his eyes closed. Harry turned over and faced Louis. He watched his closed eyelids as he continued to talk, aware that he was still tipsy. "I didn’t want to hurt you. I felt like you had been hurt way too many times over just the past two years and I didn’t want to add to the list." He paused, "God, I feel like I’ve known you forever." He whispered, moving his face closer to Harry’s. His eyes still closed. Harry stayed silent, just watching Louis. His heart was beating rapidly, "My dad’s right. Eleanor’s right. I run away when I get scared. I let you down—"

He was cut off when Harry pressed his lips softly to his. It wasn’t rough and full of lust like the first one, it was filled with just  _love._ He knew that there was a chance that Louis might not even remember this in the morning, but he didn’t care. Maybe that’s what made it so much easier for him to do it. He felt Louis’ hands make their way up to caress his cheek. The kiss didn’t last long, but it was sweet. It wasn’t so wet and sloppy like the other one. He felt Louis nuzzle his nose into the nape of Harry’s neck as he wrapped his arm around Harry’s skinny waist. Harry sighed deeply, breathing in Louis’ scent. He wanted to just stay there forever. He didn’t want to wake up and find the bed empty. He knew it was bound to happen because good things always ended for him eventually.

But to his surprise, Louis didn’t leave. When Louis woke up it was still a little dark outside, he found himself tangled in sweaty limbs. He could hear Liam downstairs yelling for Zayn to turn on the air conditioner because _’it was so damn hot’_. He turned his head, seeing Harry’s sleeping face. Harry was fully clothed, but Louis was missing his shirt. He found himself just watching the boy curiously, his fingers slid along Harry’s side. He watched as a few drops of sweat fell off of Harry’s curls and onto his cheek or onto the pillow next to him. He was scared, he honestly was. It scared him that this boy made him feel so different, but so  _right._ Even though his head was pounding, he could remember asking Harry to the party last night. He reached over slowly to the nightstand next to Harry to grab his phone. Harry moved a bit in the bed but stayed asleep. He opened his phone, the bright screen made him squint his eyes. 7:32AM. Why the hell was he up so early? Especially since he partied so hard last night. He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles before setting his phone back on the table. He suddenly felt sick as the alcohol was making its way back up. He got up carefully and ran to the bathroom before vomiting into the toilet. About ten minutes passed when he brushed his teeth and walked back into the room where Harry was. He crawled back into the bed and turned his attention back to the boy who was laying so close to him. 

Harry stirred around again, his eyes fluttered open and he met Louis’ eyes. “You’re still here.” He breathed, a smile playing on his lips.

"Of course I am." Louis smiled, "You think I was going to leave you?" 

"A little." Harry admitted shyly. He closed his eyes again, shifting to push the blankets off of him. "Fuck, it’s hot in here."

"Yeah, I think Liam or Zayn probably turned the air conditioner off last night. I don’t know why." Louis smiled, "So, what are you planning to do today?"

"Probably just hang out with Niall or something. You?"

"What would you say if I ask Eleanor if it would be alright for you to come over and eat with us tonight or something? I’ll invite Liam and Zayn too so it’s not as awkward. You can invite Niall if you want too." Louis smiled, observing Harry.

"I— uh, sure. She probably won’t want me there. She’s already made it obvious that she doesn’t like me too much." He laughed, smiling awkwardly.

"She’ll get over it." Louis smiled, his finger played on Harry’s hip bone. It caused Harry’s stomach to do flips as he felt Louis drawing small circles on them with his thumbs.

"What if she gets mad at you?" Harry asked after a long pause.

"Like I said, she’ll get over it." Louis answered, shrugging.

They both laid there for about an hour just asking each other random questions. They had both shifted to where they were laying on their backs with their eyes closed. Some of the questions that Louis asked made Harry laugh, sometimes hard enough to shake the bed, it caused Louis to smile. He remembered how broken the boy was the first few times he saw him and now they were  _this._  Neither of them talked for about five minutes, Harry thought that Louis fell back asleep until Louis spoke.

"Have you ever fucked a girl?" Louis asked, his eyes closed.

"Yep." Harry let out a small laugh, he turned to his side to watch Louis. Louis opened one eye to peek at Harry, giving him a grin, before closing it again.

"Did you like it?"

"No, not really." Harry said honestly.

"Ever fucked a boy?" Louis asked, opening his eye again and raising his eyebrow.

Harry was caught off guard a bit at the sudden question, but answered anyway. “Yep.”

"Was it better than a girl?" Louis asked softly.

"For me it was.. In case you forgot, I’m gay." He laughed.

"No I didn’t forget. I was just wondering." He grinned, closing his eyes again. "Is that how you knew that you were gay?"

"Erm, kind of.. I don’t know. I’ve just been more drawn to guys I guess. Not just because the sex is better.." Harry smiled cheekily.

"Tell me about your sister." He mumbled, changing the subject. he liked hearing Harry talk about things that he cared about. His voice soothed him, especially when he was so  _deep_ into a conversation.

"Her name’s Gemma. She’s one of my best friends and she left because of my mum. She begged me to come with her but I told he that I wasn’t leaving her. So she left without me. She lives in New York now and I haven’t seen her since. I miss her a lot. I want to visit her one day, but I’m not sure when that day will come." He frowned.

Louis turned on his side, wrapping his arm around Harry’s stomach. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Harry. “We should go someday. To go see her. “

"I don’t have the money—"

"I’ll pay for it. I.. I promise that we’ll go visit her one day… Unless you just wanna go by yourself." Harry stared up at Louis as he made the promise.

"No, If I went.. I don’t think that I could do it without you.. but I-I can’t let you pay—"

He was interrupted when Louis pecked his lips softly, “Yes you can. My dad is fucking made of money. I’m pretty sure I can pay for a simple trip to New York.” He smiled.

"O-Okay." He sighed in defeat.

He felt so loved by Louis. His heart ached when he thought about how Louis belonged to someone else. Someone he was with for a long time. His fucking teacher. God it got to the point that he felt sick when Eleanor was in front of his class teaching. He didn’t like seeing her anymore because he knew that  _she_ was the one who got to go home to him. That got to get kisses, hugs, whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. He hated when Louis mentioned her. It got to the point where he was sickeningly jealous of her. But he wasn’t going to be able to let go until Louis did first. He didn’t think it would be possible for him to let go of Louis by this point. Eleanor was beautiful and talented and funny and smart and he was just a mess. He was messed up and Louis just simply deserved someone who was better than him. 

Louis sat up and grabbed his phone, dialing Eleanor’s number. He laid back down with the phone pressed to his ear as it continued ringing. Harry sat in silence.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey babe." Louis smiled. Harry’s stomach churned.

_"Where are you?"_

"Liam and Zayn’s. They had a fucking awesome party last night." He continued before she could respond, "Listen I hope you don’t mind but I’m inviting Zayn, Liam, Harry, and Niall for dinner."

_"Harry and Niall.. as in my students?"_

"Oh get over it. It’s Saturday, technically they aren’t today. Anyway, see you later. bye." He hung up and grinned at Harry. "See how easy that was?"

"Y-Yeah." He frowned, watching the ceiling above him, "Lou, what are we doing?"

"What?" Louis asked raising his eyebrows.

"You.. You have a girlfriend and we’re sitting here—"

"We can talk later about all  _that_ , alright? Promise.” Louis said softly. Harry gave him a small nod and closed his eyes. Neither of them spoke and Harry drifted off and fell asleep again. 


	11. Chapter 11

The fact that Louis didn’t stop by at all until dinner said something to Eleanor. Sure, it wasn’t a big deal, but a part of Eleanor expected Louis to stop by. To make sure that they were alright, to put some effort into their relationship. That’s just how Louis had always been. She was startled a little when she heard the door open and heard laughter. It wasn’t Louis’ laugh though, it was Harry’s. She poked her head around the corner and caught a glimpse of Louis and Harry, both with wide smiles on their faces. She honestly had never seen Harry smile before. If she wasn’t his teacher, she would think he was gorgeous. They both looked up and saw Eleanor. Harry’s smile faded and he cleared his throat.

"Hi Ms. Calder." He said shyly.

"Hi Harry." Eleanor answered, still watching the both of them from across the room.

"Ugh, dude, just call her Eleanor right now." Louis said, walking by Harry to give Eleanor a soft kiss on the cheek. "Hi babe, how are you?"

"Good.." Eleanor said quietly, "Where’s everyone else?"

"Niall said he’s on his way and Zayn and Liam should come soon too." Louis answered, throwing himself onto the couch. He glanced at Harry. "Are you going to be all quiet now because she’s with us? Can you just forget the fact that she’s your teacher for just the next few hours?" Louis rolled his eyes.

Harry could feel his face get a bit hot as he sat next to Louis, “Shut up.” He rolled his eyes back at Louis, shoving him a bit. A grin grew on his face again.

Eleanor cleared her throat awkwardly as she watched the two. She felt so out of place around the both of them. Louis seemed to notice because he patted the little space left on the couch for her to come and join them. She shook her head politely, giving them a small smile before making her way back into the kitchen.

"See, told you she hates me." Harry sighed, bringing his hands to his face. 

"She doesn’t hate you." Louis laughed, patting his leg softly. Harry watched Louis’ hand for a few seconds before Louis pulled it away, noticing Harry staring at it.

"Yeah, she does." He frowned, looking up to meet Louis’ eyes. Louis realized how serious Harry actually was. He frowned along with Harry. He could read Harry and what he wanted to say.

"Stop, don’t do this now." He watched Harry as he nodded a bit.

They both looked up when Eleanor walked back in suddenly, “Can I talk to you, Harry?” She asked.

"Y-Yeah." Harry answered nervously, standing up. They both walked into the kitchen as Louis stayed in the other room, confused. Harry turned and looked at Eleanor as they both sat at the table. "Yes?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at the girl in front of him. The one who had Louis. His teacher.

"Look, Harry, I know I don’t know you that well.. And overhearing that you think that I hate you, I don’t. You just need to understand how  _weird_ it is that you’re going around with my boyfriend. I don’t know what is up with you two, but I know that you guys are friends. It’s just weird because you, someone who I’ve never even seen smile, just somehow looks at Louis like ..I don’t even know. I see the way you stare at him, Harry. I’m not trying to embarrass you or be a bitch, but I just don’t want you to ruin anything between Lou and I. We’ve been seeing each other since we were 18. I’m not saying that you’re trying to.. You’re just  _so_ young. and you don’t seem like you would understand. So, I’m asking you kindly, just take a few steps back.” Eleanor raised her eyebrows, “Yeah?”

Harry stayed silent, giving her a small nod and a fake smile. He turned and walked back into the living room, avoiding Louis’ curious eyes on him. ”What did she tell you, Harry?” Louis asked softly.

"Nothing, don’t worry about it." Harry mumbled, meeting Louis’ worried eyes that followed him.

Louis could see right through Harry and he knew it. He turned away, avoiding his eyes again. “We’ll talk later.” Louis confirmed, watching as Harry gave a nervous nod. Louis patted his knee softly and gave him a small smile.

About an hour later, they were all sat around the dinner table. Liam and Zayn had arrived about thirty minutes before and Niall arrived about forty minutes before. They were actually having a good time, ignoring Eleanor’s awkward comments every now and then. And ignoring the fact that Harry and Niall were eating at their teacher’s house, it was actually ..fun. Besides when Eleanor shot a few warning glares to Harry, which caused him to sit on the opposite side of the table from Louis. He ended up next to Niall. Every time he caught Louis’ curious eyes, he looked away quickly - causing Louis to frown. He knew something was wrong but he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t just wrap his arms around him and ask him what was wrong like he had done before. But the thing was, he never really  _asked._  He always waited for Harry to be ready to tell him when something was wrong.

After dinner they played a few games and sat around the TV, talking about random stuff. Harry sat on the couch the farthest away from Louis and Eleanor, who sat on the floor in front of a chair and shared a blanket. Harry watched as Eleanor whispered something to Louis, causing him to laugh. He felt sick honestly. He didn’t want to watch this. He ignored Eleanor’s little looks as if she  _knew_ he was jealous. She was basically flaunting him in front of Harry on purpose. he didn’t want to be mean, but god she was a bitch. Louis deserved someone better - but it didn’t matter what  _he_ thought. But Louis had told him they would talk later, he was just scared of what it was going to be about.

It made him even more nervous when Niall stood up and announced he was going home. He turned to Harry to tell him to come on, but was interrupted when Louis offered to drive Harry home later. Harry didn’t really have any other choice but to accept, earning himself another glare from Eleanor. He was digging himself in a hole and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get out. He just hoped that in the end it would be worth it.

When the time came, Louis waited for Harry at the front door as he put his sweater on. He smiled as Harry approached him, said goodbye to Eleanor, and walked to the car with Harry. They both got in and Louis began to drive, the car was silent until Louis spoke.

"Do you wanna get ice cream and go to the park or something to talk?" Louis asked softly. 

"Sure." Harry said softly, "I’m not hungry.. So I don’t want anything." 

Louis nodded and drove to the ice cream place. He got out of the car, Harry following, and ordered a cookies & cream ice cream cone. He grinned as he licked it. It made Harry smile, it showed how he really was a kid at heart - getting so excited over ice cream. 

"Did you have fun tonight?" Louis asked softly, walking back to the car and taking another lick of his ice cream.

”..I guess so.” Harry mumbled, looking down at his feet as he walked along Louis.

Louis suddenly stopped and faced Harry, his face was serious. “What did  _she_ tell you, Harry?” He asked softly. Harry stayed silent, looking down at his feet. He moved his hand and placed it on Harry’s cheek, moving Harry’s face so that he was looking at him, “Tell me.” He said quietly.

"She.. She just said to take a few steps away from you. She, ..she sees the way that I look at you. She sees right through me, Lou." He smiled weakly, "So.. I guess that’s what I’ll do.." He looked down, Louis’ hand still placed on his cheek. He closed his eyes at the touch. 

Louis watched him closely, “What if I don’t want you to take a step away from me though?” he murmured. 

Harry looked up and met Louis’ scared eyes. He laid his hand on Louis’ hand which was on his cheek for a second before removing Louis’ hand, “I can’t be the reason that ruins you and Eleanor. I’m just a kid, remember?” Harry smiled slightly.

"That’s what she told you? That you were just a kid?" He shook his head, "She’s fucking ridiculous. I’ve never met anyone so .. _strong_ and so, just so beautiful, Harry.” He watched Harry as he looked up to meet Louis’ intense gaze. “She doesn’t know shit about you. So fuck her, fuck everyone who judges you before they know you. Harry,  _please._ " He sighed.

Harry’s eyes were watering, “I don’t deserve to even have you in my life. I fuck everything up. I don’t deserve to have someone so.. so  _perfect_  again. Please take me home, Lou.” He breathed.

Louis wiped away a few of his tears and nodded silently, “Okay..” he whispered and they made their way to the car.

The car was silent for the rest of the way to Niall’s house. Harry chewed ferociously on the side of his cheek until he could taste the familiar copper blood flow onto his tongue. He winced slightly but just sat there, no movement, just the sound of the sound of both of them breathing. Louis couldn’t focus. His hands were shaky, his heart ached as he kept himself from exploding with everything he was feelings for the younger boy.

There were things that he was now 100% certain about. He couldn’t let go of Harry, no matter how bad things got. Harry could stab him in the back and tell him that he hates him and it would still hurt as much to let go of him if they were even married. Another thing he was certain about was that he liked Harry. He really liked Harry, more than he should. And it scared the shit out of him. Sometimes it was probably more than he liked Eleanor. He knew it was bad - wrong even, but he couldn’t stay away even if he tried.

So they rode to Niall’s house in silence. When they arrived, Harry got out of the car without turning to say goodbye. He walked up to the house, not even turning around to wave or anything. Nothing.

And Louis knew that he was fucked big time.


	12. Chapter 12

A few more days passed until Louis decided to go to Niall’s house to see what was wrong with Harry - why he was ignoring every call and text that he had sent him. Sure, he had done that to the boy not so long ago, but he thought that was done with. That they were okay.. but they obviously weren’t okay. They were anything but okay. When he got there, Niall told him that Harry was in the shower and he should leave. So Louis didn’t argue. He left - he knew that if Harry wanted to talk, he’d know where to find him. It took everything in him to just let Harry come to  _him._  And not the other way around.

But more days passed and he heard nothing. Every time the phone rang, it hurt even worse. He frowned at the thought that this must have been how Harry had felt when he ignored Harry’s calls. But he guessed that Karma was a bitch.

When it was a week passed since the last time that he heard from Harry, he decided he needed to get away from things - everything basically. So he went to visit his family, who he hadn’t seen in quite a while. He missed them honestly and he felt like it was a good chance to go. He hoped that he could talk to his mum about things, he used to tell her everything when he lived with them still. But he was scared, his mum  _adored_ Eleanor. What would she say if he told her, ‘ _oh mum, I think I might be gay for one of Eleanor’s students.’_ But he trusted his mum to not judge and hopefully accept him. If anything, he was more nervous about his dad accepting him. He was positive that his sisters would be okay with it. Hopefully. They loved Eleanor too. It seemed as if everyone loved her - except for Louis these days. 

So he told Eleanor he was going to visit his family and he wasn’t sure when he would be back. Eleanor didn’t even protest, she just let him go without anything to say really. So he went.

* * *

 

"Louis called again when you were in the shower." Niall said, tossing Harry’s phone over to him. This had been the fifteenth time in total that Louis had called him since he left the car that night. He called about twice a day - once in the morning and once before he fell asleep. Of course he would ignore both of the calls because  he just wasn’t ready to talk yet.

He had gone to school three days this week, only three days though. He couldn’t stand watching Eleanor at the front of the class - her glares eating into him. A few times she would call him back and ask him if he had talked to Louis. Honestly, she wasn’t even trying to be mean about it. She was just curious, but he didn’t care. He was done with trying to please Eleanor.

Harry sighed, grabbing the phone and looking at it. He saw that Louis had left a voice mail for him. Her nervously clicked it and pressed the phone against his ear, curious to what he had to say. Out of the fifteen times he had called, this was the second voice mail that was left.

There was a deep sigh before words were spoken into the speaker of the phone, “Hey… _Listen, I’m going away to visit my family for a few days… so If you decide that you want to talk, just call me..”_ There was a long pause,  _"I miss you a lot Harry. So please just call me."_ Louis’s voice crackled as he breathed into the phone before the voice mail ended.

"I don’t get why you just won’t talk to him." Niall said, raising his eyebrows at Harry.

"Because.. I just can’t yet.." He answered, slowly moving the phone away from his ear. His heart was racing, but he shook ignored it. It took everything in him to not call Louis back. It seemed as if his phone was screaming in his hand. He ignored it, almost throwing the thing.

"Why not..?" Niall asked.

"Because Niall.. I just, I don’t like feeling like I’m coming between him and Eleanor. They’re happy, I’m just a distraction. It’s done, okay? Just drop it." Harry rolled his eyes.

"No Harry. I’m not going to drop it. And no, it’s far from done and you know it. I haven’t seen you so happy with anyone since Aiden."

He took a sharp breath - Niall  _never_  mentioned Aiden. He glared at Niall coldly, “Aiden and Louis are completely different and I had different relationships with both of them. I was actually  _with_ Aiden and I’m just friends with Louis. Okay? Stop it.”

"Yeah, you and Louis are  _just_  friends. Bitch please,” He snorted, “I’m not stupid Harry. We’ve been best friends since, like, forever. I think I’d know when you’re happy with someone - friends or more. I’m able to tell..” He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. 

"But I can’t okay? I can’t fucking like him because every time I start even just thinking that maybe I like him more than a friend, I can’t help but feel guilty.. It’s eating me alive. I feel like.. that," He swallowed, "I can’t help but feel like Aiden would think that I’m just replacing him easily with Louis. I just, I miss him so fucking much, Niall." He bit his lip before dropping to his knees and bringing his hands to his face. A sobbing noise rang through the air as the rest of the room was silent. "So, Yes. I like Louis. I like him much more than I would probably like to, but I can’t just fuck more stuff up. I’ve fucked enough stuff up already. My family, my friendships, everything that I’ve ever cared about. I’m not going to fuck up Louis’ life as well.. So I’m not going to take a chance and ruin their relationship for my selfish reasons. He’ll forget about me sooner or later and we can both move on from this chapter in our lives. I’m easily forgotten, so let’s just drop it, please, Niall." He choked out, fighting back more tears as they continued to fall rapidly. He quickly wiped them as he kept his position on the floor, he hated crying in front of Niall.

"Did you really just say that you are easy to forget? Harry, when you get into someone’s life.. God, you are  _there for good._ Believe me, when you stopped talking to me.. I tried and it didn’t work. You’re my best friend. Harry. I knew Aiden. I was friends with him.. Just please realize that Aiden is  _gone._  I know it’s hard to let go.. But he would want you to move on. He would want you to just be happy. He loves you and he always will. Just take a chance. Stop crying, please.”

"I.. I  _can’t._ " He sobbed, rubbing his eyes again. 

"You can’t what?"

"I can’t just take a chance.. I’m scared of getting hurt again. I don’t know how much more I can take it."

That had always been on Niall’s mind ever since Harry’s dad and Aiden died.. How much more of this he could take.. And to top it off - his mum got involved, his sister left, and now he was basically alone in life. But he was still strong. Niall wouldn’t let anything happen to him and he hoped that Harry understood.

"If you don’t take a chance, you never know what could happen, Harry.." Niall said, watching him.

* * *

 

Louis was actually sort of happy for the first time in the week without Harry. He had spent the whole day with his family, catching up on everything that had happened in the few months that they hadn’t seen each other. They only lived a few hours away, but they always seemed busy. So they didn’t get to see each other often.

Louis sat on the balcony as the sun was going down when he felt his mum sit next to him. ”Hi babe.” She smiled, kissing his cheek gently, “So, are you going to tell me what’s been wrong with you all day?”

He glanced at her, his eye brows furrowing. “How did you know—”

"I’m your mum, I know things. So talk." She gave him a sweet smile, encouraging him to go on. Almost like she was telling him that she wouldn’t judge because she’s his mother.

There was a long silence as Louis tried to figure out what to say, “Okay, so.. you have to be honest, yeah?” Louis asked, turning to his mum. She gave him a nod, “Have you ever thought that I might be gay? Or bi? Or anything that has to do to being attracted to boys?” He asked shyly. He could feel himself blushing at the question, but he ignored it. Thankful that it was dark outside so it would’ve been hard to see the color in his face change.

Jay cleared her throat awkwardly, not expecting this question coming from Louis, “I don’t understand—?”

"Just answer it please." Louis sighed.

"I mean.. I don’t know. It wouldn’t effect me if you were babe.. Why do you ask?" She watched her son as he chewed on his lip nervously.

"There’s this boy, mum." He sighed, bringing his hands to his face. "And fuck, I literally can’t stop thinking about him.."

"What about Eleanor..?" Jay asked, watching her son squirm next to him. 

"She’s just been a complete bitch these days. She’s different than the one that I knew.. I don’t know.." He shook his head, "But I think it’s because maybe she’s noticed.. things have changed between us or.. I don’t know. The thing is, she teaches him at their school. He’s one of her students.. So she doesn’t like the idea of me hanging out with him - being his friend.. Like  _at all._ ”

"What’s his name?" Jay smiled, rubbing his shoulder encouragingly.

"His name is Harry.. He’s only 18. But he’s so mature for his age.. He’s been through  _so_ _much._ It scares me how much he’s been through. He’s just so -  _so fragile_.. I’m scared that I’ll be the one to break him. That if I do one wrong move, he won’t be able to take anything else and just break. I don’t like it. I just.. I’m so confused mum. Eleanor doesn’t even understand him. She thinks he’s just a kid who has a crush on me. She doesn’t understand  _anything_ that he’s been through and that he could probably give me so much more than she would ever be able to. I hate saying it - but I’ve thought about it..”

"Would you mind me asking what it is that she doesn’t understand about him, Harry?" Jay asked, raising her eyebrows at her son.

Louis liked the way his mum said Harry. He felt like he didn’t really have to keep Harry so much of a secret anymore. “I don’t know if I can or should tell you..” He frowned, “He just trusts me, that’s all.” 

She frowned back at Louis, taking his hand. “I’m not judging you Lou. If Harry makes you happy, go for it. Just think about what the consequences will be with Eleanor. You’ve been with her for a few years. Make sure that Harry isn’t just someone you’re willing to drop everything for and then he’ll disappear in a few months.” She smiled as Louis nodded, brushing his thumb against his mother’s hand. “Is he cute?” She winked.

"Yes, he’s fucking gorgeous mum." He laughed lightly.

"What does he look like?" She smiled.

"He has curly brown hair, but it’s like.. loose curls I guess. He’s taller than me.. And he has the most amazing green eyes I’ve ever seen.. Seriously, if you saw them.. You would die" 

"Well, I hope I see them one day."

Louis looked at his mum, a grin grew on his face. “I love you.”

"I love you too, babe. And I always will. Never forget that, okay?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *this chapter has of self harming!!

It was just a day later when Harry called Louis. He wasn’t expecting it honestly - it was sudden. It was during dinner with his family. They were actually having a nice chat. He was discussing something with his father when he felt his phone buzz on the table next to him. His dad gave him a glare - he hated when people used their phones at the dinner table.

"Louis.." He warned.

"Sorry Dad," He glanced at it and saw Harry’s name. He felt his stomach flip as he just watched it. "I - I need to take this.." He said, standing up and answering it immediately. "Hello? Harry?" He cried, glancing at his mum - who was watching him & raised her eyebrows, as he walked away from the table.

"Lou.." He said quietly. His voice cracked as if he’d been crying.

"Harry, what’s wrong?" He murmured into the phone as he made his way outside of the house. The silence rang through the phone, "Tell me Harry." He demanded.

"My Mum is dead." He whispered. There was a long silence, longer than he’s ever heard while talking to Harry. Minutes passed and it sounded like Harry’s breathing got heavier, a choking sob filled into the phone. "She’s dead Louis.. I’m like a fucking orphan now. ..I have no fucking parents left. I’m alone.." He stuttered.

Louis shut his eyes tight at the sound of pain talked to him through the phone. He wanted to scream and cry and tell Harry he was going to be alright, but he couldn’t. “Where are you now?” He asked as softly as he possibly could.

"My house…" He said quietly.

"Where’s Niall?" Louis asked, walking back inside and running up the stairs into his room - catching his Mum’s curious eyes watching him race.

"I don’t know." He choked. "I.. I’m sorry." He whispered, "I tried. I  _tried_ to let you go but I just fucking need you—”

"I’m coming, okay? I should be there in a few hours. J-Just stay there or go to Niall’s." Louis commanded, throwing his stuff into a bag. He didn’t even care if it was messy, he just was doing it as quickly as he possibly could. "Don’t you do anything stupid. You hear me, Harry?"

"Yes.." He answered quietly, "I won’t.."

Louis threw the bag over his shoulder, “I’m leaving now, okay Harry?” He said quietly. There was silence on the other end of the phone. “I missed you..” He added softly.

The silence from Harry was still there for another twenty seconds before he responded. “I missed you too.” His voice cracked, causing Louis to freeze. He shut his eyes tightly.

"I’ll see you in a few hours." And with that, Louis hung up before walking down the stairs to his family. "I have to go." He said simply, making his way to the door.

His mum stood up, rushing over to Louis. “What’s wrong, love?”

"Harry needs me.. His mum is dead. I- I have to go. Fuck..  _Fuck._ She doesn’t deserve his damn tears. She treated him like shit and he’s _.._ " He trailed off, rubbing his eyes roughly, "I have to go mum. I love you, thank you for everything." He leaned over and gave her a tight hug. He peered over her shoulder and saw his little sisters watching him confused. He made his way over to them after finishing his hug to his mum and tightly wrapped his arms around each of them individually. He murmured a quiet ‘I love you.’ to each of them before hugging his father. Then he made his way back to his car before setting off for Harry.

* * *

 

Harry was alone. He knew he was too. He sat in his old room, on the floor. His eyes were scanning the pictures that hung on the walls. All the good memories that were carried in these pictures seemed like a thousand years ago - almost to the point where he could barely remember most of them. There was one of him and Gemma. Another with the whole family. One of Aiden and himself. And another of his mum and his dad. His lips pressed into a straight line as he just stared at them - like he wanted them to just disappear. He propped himself on his knees and reached up to grab the picture of his mum and dad. He returned to his original place, the picture on his lap. His fingers traced the outlines of his parents.

The parents that were no longer there.

He set it back in its original place before grabbing the one of him and Aiden. He sighed and brought it to his chest, almost hugging it. He had never felt so  _alone._ He held the picture frame so tightly, like he was trying to get all of his anger for the world out by just squeezing it. The frame shattered, the glass cutting his finger and a bit of his wrist. He winced slightly, lifting up his sleeves. He examined his wrist. He looked at every white thin scar that he had from the other times that he felt lonely. That was the way that he used to deal with things - cutting. But he knew he couldn’t do that this time. But god, he wanted to _. So bad._ But he told Louis he wouldn’t do anything stupid. He dropped the frame into the shattered glass next to him and stared at the blood that was falling out of his fingers and wrist. Absentmindedly, his hand went back to the glass and he brought it back to his wrist.

* * *

 

Louis sped. He was probably going double the speed limit the whole way home - praying the police wouldn’t see him and stop him. He made it back to Harry’s half the time that he expected to. He parked the car in front of the familiar house and walked up to the stairs. He had never been inside before, just outside of it. He didn’t know if should knock or not, so he didn’t. He twisted the handle of the door, finding it was unlocked, and walked inside quietly. His eyes scanned his unfamiliar surroundings as he took slow steps. “Harry?” He called quietly. There was no response so he kept walking throughout the cold house. 

When he finished searching downstairs, finding no sign of Harry, he made his way upstairs. “Harry?” He called again, quieter than he was before. He was honestly scared. The house creeped him out. All of the doors were opened, except for one, and he knew who was in there. He walked inside slowly, seeing a figure laying in the bed - the sheets were over their head. Louis walked closer to it, “Harry, babe, is that you?” He whispered.

Harry’s face appeared from under the sheets slowly and he watched as Louis walked quicker towards him. He closed his eyes as he felt the familiar, loving skin that held his cold cheek under their warm palms. Louis moved the blanket, spotting blood. A low gasp came from him as he caught sight of Harry’s bloody wrist. “Dammit Harry.” He murmured, bringing the wrist closer to his face. He examined it, giving him a glare. “Where’s the first-aid kits?” 

"Bathroom." Harry whispered, his voice was hoarse as he watched Louis jog out of the room and into the bathroom. He returned rather quickly and hopped onto the bed. He sat crisscross in front of Harry, who sat up slowly. 

Louis gave him another glare before taking his wrist and bringing it to his lap. He scooted a bit closer, “I told you not to do anything stupid.” He grumbled, dabbing the cuts to wipe off some of the blood that had been dried.

"I- I’m sorry.." Harry answered, his lip wobbling. He bit down on it hard, hard enough to where copper tasting blood flowed out of it and onto his tongue.

"God damn, Harry. Stop making yourself bleed." Louis said, handing him a towel for his lip. Harry obeyed and pressed it to his lips to stop the bleeding.

Louis continued dabbing up the blood from his wrist. His eyes wandered to the floor, the broken picture frame. “So.. Is that Aiden?” He asked, his eyes shifting from the picture to Harry. Harry gave him a small nod, not taking his eyes off of Louis. Louis wiped the blood to where it was clean. His fingers traced the old scars - and now the few new ones. He leaned down and planted a soft, but firm kiss on his wrist before putting a bandage on it.

Louis crawled to the pillow of the bed, tucking himself under the blanket. He scooted closely to Harry, breathing in his scent. “I’m sorry.” Harry said again, closing his eyes tightly. Louis wrapped an arm around harry’s waist and brought him close to his body. Harry froze a bit at the touch but relaxed into it.

"Stop apologizing." He mumbled into his neck.

"No. I’m such a fucking asshole. I’m selfish. I shouldn’t have ignored you.. I’m sorry."

Louis fingers played on the side of Harry’s shirt, “H-How did she die? Your mum?”

"She overdosed." Harry said simply. "I mean.. I’m not surprised.. But I- I just feel so alone.. I’m tired of feeling so lonely. I just want to be happy again, but it’s hard when literally everything goes wrong for you." He frowned.

"Harry, look at me." Louis said, watching Harry’s eyelids flutter back open to meet his own eyes. Harry’s green eyes immediately turned soft as they found their way to Louis’ blue orbs. "You’re not alone. You have me. You have Niall. You have your sister and Zayn and Liam and we all care about you. Please don’t think you’re alone. Stop pushing me away, babe." He said sweetly.

Harry’s heart fluttered at the word, ‘babe’. He gave him a small nod, swallowing thickly. His throat starting closing up as he felt his eyes water again. It was interrupted when Louis kissed him, pressing his lips softly against his. Louis moved closer to Harry, their lips were still pressed together as he felt Harry’s tongue against his lips. He opened his mouth, allowing Harry’s tongue to tangle with his own. Harry shifted, laying on his side as well. Louis’ hand ran along Harry’s side that was facing up, stopping along his hip. A low grumble came from Harry’s throat as he felt Harry against him. He was hard and it was obvious. Louis made him hard. Louis pulled away slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Harry’s. He felt slightly proud of himself, smug almost that he made Harry hard. The way Harry was looking back at Louis - He had never seen such a look in Harry’s eyes. His eyes were full of hunger and lust and everything in between. Louis smiled slightly, pecking his lips once more before snuggling his face into the nape of his neck. He breathed in deeply. Harry’s scent comforted him - it smelled like spices with a slight smoke and vanilla smell. 

"I missed you so much." He heard Harry whisper against his hair. Louis planted a soft peck against his neck. "I hate you," He chuckled, "Thanks a lot for giving me a boner by the way."

Louis laughed into his neck, “Sorry ‘bout that. If it makes you feel any better, you had the same effect on me.” He smiled, his face still pressed against Harry’s skin. All of a sudden he felt Harry’s hand touch the crotch of his pants, of course not helping his boner at all. He gasped at the touch, pulling away from Harry’s neck and glaring at him.

"Sorry, just wanted to check." He winked, smiling weakly.

Louis knew that Harry was trying his best to make things normal. But he could see in his eyes that he wasn’t too happy. Maybe he was happy around Louis, but he knew he wasn’t happy in general.

* * *

 

The day the funeral came, not too many people showed up. Louis went with Harry. They were both dressed in tuxes - Louis knew he should feel bad for thinking that Harry looked fucking sexy in it, especially at his mum’s funeral. Louis never left Harry’s side the entire time they were there. The only person he recognized there was Niall. Harry said hi to a few people, but he obviously didn’t know too many either.  _"They’re probably some of her drug dealers or some of the assholes she slept with."_ He told Louis when he asked.

"I can’t believe Gemma didn’t even come today.. She’s a selfish bitch, that’s what she is." He shook his head, talking quietly. "She was her fucking mum and she didn’t even come to her funeral. She treated me way worse than she treated Gemma.. I don’t get it." He sighed, bringing his fingers through his hair.

He held himself together until the ride home. He completely lost it.

* * *

 

When they left, they were having a quiet conversation about something in the car when Harry’s voice kept getting quieter and quieter until he was silent. Next thing he knew, he was staring out of the window and blocking out everything Louis was saying. He was startled when he felt Louis grab his hand, squeezing his fingers gently as if to ask if he was okay. Harry wiped a few of his tears, sniffling. “Sorry.” He croaked. Louis shook his head, leaning over and wiping away a tear quickly. Harry gave him a weak smile and stared out the window again. His trembling fingers held on to Louis’ fingers for dear life. ”I can’t believe she’s gone..” He whispered softly.

Louis stayed silent, bringing their tangled fingers up to his lips. He brushed his own lips against Harry’s hand and pressed little kisses on them before dropping them back to where they were.

"Why do you treat me like this?" Harry asked quietly, watching their hands drop.

"Treat you like what?" Louis murmured, changing lanes on the road. His eyes shifted from the road to Harry then back to the road.

"You know what I’m talking about.." He whispered.

Louis sat there for a second before answering, “Because you deserve to be treated like this. However your mum treated you, you don’t deserve to  _ever_ be treated like that again. You deserve to be held and kissed and you deserve to be happy with someone who makes you happy. God Harry, you’re fucking perfect. You just don’t see it. Everything about you is perfect and beautiful and s-so fragile. You have no idea.” 

Harry sat there for a second, letting what Louis had just said sink into him. He stared at Louis, biting his lip softly. He could feel his eyes sting of tears because the last person to ever say such a sweet thing was Aiden. His heart was pounding and Louis squeezed his hand gently, giving him a sweet smile. “I love you.” Harry murmured softly.


	14. Chapter 14

_Harry sat there for a second, letting what Louis had just said sink into him. He stared at Louis, biting his lip softly. He could feel his eyes sting of tears because the last person to ever say such a sweet thing was Aiden. His heart was pounding and Louis squeezed his hand gently, giving him a sweet smile. “I love you.” Harry murmured softly.  
~_

Louis froze,a bit shocked at the words that just poured out of Harry’s mouth. But looking up at the boy, the look in his eyes, he could tell that Harry meant it. Louis felt like his whole body had melted just by the kind words that left Harry’s mouth. Because he  _knew_ that it was hard to just gain the trust from the boy, but it must have taken a lot to get those words.  _I love you._

But then he frowned, realizing where he was and who he was with. Eleanor’s image popping into his head and guilt fled through his veins. “Please don’t say that..” He whispered.

He turned into Niall’s driveway, stopping the car. Neither of them moved - Harry’s jaw clenched as he turned back to Louis. “Why?” He mumbled, “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it..” He said quietly.

"I know." Louis said softly, "I just …I  _can’t._ " Louis sighed, running a hand through his messy hair.

"I know you can’t." Harry gave him a weak smile, "But it’s okay. I understand." He said, his voice softer with each word. He opened his door slowly, giving him a smile as if he was saying goodbye.

"Wait." Louis said, causing Harry to freeze where he was. Louis leaned over and pecked his lips softly. "Goodnight Harry."

Harry smiled, biting his lip. “Goodnight Lou.” He got out and closed the door before making his way inside Niall’s house.

* * *

 

"So you and Lou, eh?" Niall winked as he saw Harry walk inside the house. Harry turned to him, shrugging. He threw himself onto the couch, closing his eyes. He then felt Niall sitting next to him. "I’m not stupid, Harold."

"I told him that I loved him tonight." Harry said quietly, his eyes opened to look at Niall. Niall’s eyes got wide, his eyebrows raised. "I just - I meant it. I wanted him to know." He frowned.

"Did you say he loved you too?"

"Nope." Harry sighed, "He said that ‘he couldn’t.’ I understand though, I guess. He has a girlfriend."

"One that he barely even seems interested in anymore! Honestly Harry, if you looked at him when he was around you.." He trailed off.

Harry ignored Niall’s comments and stood up, “Anyways.. Goodnight Niall.”

* * *

 

The days went by, Harry and Louis talked daily. They didn’t really hang out in person for a few days, they just usually texted each other. Usually it consisted of Louis asking Harry how he was doing and if he was feeling any better. Every now and then, one of them would add an  _I miss you x_  to it. But that was usually as far as it got. Sometimes during the day, when Eleanor was teaching and Harry was at school, he would receive pictures of Eleanor at the front of the classroom. It made him laugh - he pictured Harry trying to take a sneaky picture of her. 

Eleanor and Louis were drifting. He couldn’t even remember the last time they shared an actual, passionate, and kiss that was filled with plain love. It was really obvious how they were drifting too. But it was more of a,  _I can’t stop thinking about Harry being in your place._ Of course, he didn’t tell her that. In fact, he  _never_ mentioned Harry in front of Eleanor anymore. The last time was when he attended Harry’s mum’s funeral, and he just told her where he was going. She didn’t ask,  _Is Harry alright?_ or  _How did she die?_ She didn’t even seem to care and it honestly bothered Louis. He wanted more people to learn to care for the younger boy - he deserved it after everything that he had been through. He deserved more people who loved and cared for him.

Louis started to hang out with Harry again, in person. He seemed happier than he usually was on some days - others, not so much. 

On the first day he saw Harry since the funeral, they both hung out for a few hours at the park. They spent it just walking around - avoiding touching in any affectionate way, unsure of who could be there to see. They talked about old memories that they had. Louis tried his best to make Harry laugh - to make sure that he felt happy and not thinking about what happened the day before. He noticed something, some spark in Harry’s eyes when he laughed - that caused his stomach to do flips. 

On the second day, Harry was a lot quieter than he was the day before. Louis went over to Niall’s house while he was at school, but Harry didn’t go. It wasn’t really a surprise that Harry didn’t go, he went to school probably 2 - 3 times a week. Louis and Harry were curled up on the couch, watching TV. Harry wasn’t really paying attention to the TV, he just looked around the room. Louis was pressed so tightly against Harry, it was almost like he was hiding in his side. He could feel Louis’ fingers playing with the material of his pants with his eyes glued to the TV. It was almost like he didn’t even realize what he was doing. They ended up falling asleep until Niall came back and woke them up before dinner.

On the third day, they went and got lunch together. Louis was babbling on about something, but he trailed off when he noticed Harry staring at his food. 

"You okay babe?" Louis asked softly, watching as Harry’s head snapped up quickly to meet his eyes.

"Yeah." He said quietly. "I’m fine." He broke the stare, picking at his food again.

"You’ve barely eaten and you haven’t spoken at all. Tell me what’s wrong, Harry." He waited as Harry’s lips pressed into a tight line. He looked back up at Louis.

"I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong, I just feel so alone. I  _know_ that I have you. And yes, that’s enough for me, but I want my family back. I want Gemma and my mum and my dad. And Aiden. I want all my old friends back, I just, I feel like I’ve lost everyone that I thought I once knew.” He watched Louis frown, “You’ve helped me through so much though Lou. Honestly, if I didn’t have something -  _someone,_  like you to look forward to each day, I probably would’ve just killed myself a long time ago.” He answered honestly. “Because I’ve thought about it. A lot actually.”

Louis’ frown didn’t change. He bit his lip hard, “Stop, please. Don’t say things like that.”

"Don’t worry. I won’t. I haven’t even wanted to do it since the other night honestly."

Louis knew what he was talking about. The whole  _I love you_ incident.

On the fourth day, Harry lost it. Louis had come over to see if Harry wanted to do something, finding Niall looking stressed out. He told him that he had to leave somewhere but Harry had locked himself in his room, he wouldn’t come out, and he wasn’t answering. Louis told him to go wherever he needed to and he would take care of it. His heart was racing as he remembered the conversation from the day before. Suddenly he felt scared. What if Harry  _had_ killed himself? He began to picture what his life would be without Harry. How lonely he would feel. All those unspoken feelings - gone to waste. He began to panic, but shook it off and ran up the stairs.

"Harry?" He said quietly, knocking on the door. His hand moved to the doorknob, wiggling it to find it being locked. "Babe, open the door. It’s me, Lou."

There were a few seconds of silence until he could hear someone shifting inside the room. The door handle moved slightly and Louis opened the door to find Harry standing in front of him. His eyes were puffy - he was obviously crying for awhile. There was no sign of happiness in his expression at all. He looked honestly crazy and just dead. But his expression softened as Louis walked towards him and threw his arms around Harry, wiping away some of his tears that began to fall again. “Stop fucking cry,” Louis mumbled into Harry’s neck.

Harry sniffled a bit, nodding into Louis. “S-Sorry.” 

Louis looked up from the hug and kissed him sloppily. It was wet and kind of gross, mostly because Harry’s nose was running and he had salty tears that were getting everywhere. Their teeth clinked together a bit, causing Louis to wince a bit, but he ignored it. Their tongues found each other and they began to massage each other between their connected mouth. The sweet smell of Harry filled Louis’ nose. Harry didn’t even realize that they had moved backwards until he was pushed onto his bed - laying on his back. It caused their lips to part for a second. Harry watched Louis crawling above him slowly with a slight smile - smirk almost - on his lips. Harry’s hand found it’s way to the back of Louis’ neck, pulling him towards him again. Their lips found each other again, neither of them even had a thought about pulling away anytime soon.

Things got hot fast. Louis wanted to  _show_ Harry how much he cared. He didn’t want to tell him, he wanted to show him. Because maybe that would be enough for Harry to know that he was worth every bit of love that Louis was able to give him right now. He wanted his actions to say that maybe, just maybe, he loved him too. But pulling away from the kiss for a few seconds to stare down at the boy beneath him, his green eyes shining of wonder and passion, he knew that he did love him. 

Louis kissed from Harry’s jawline down his neck, sucking and biting slightly. He left small love bites along his neck as his other hand made its way down Harry’s side to his hips. If he hadn’t told Harry that he’d never been with a guy before, it would’ve been so hard to tell. He seemed as if he knew _exactly_ what he was doing. And god, it was hot. It caused the bulge in Harry’s pants to grow bigger than it already was.

* * *

 

Sure, they didn’t go  _all_ the way - just an exchange of blowjobs and handjobs. But Louis made sure he got his message to Harry. Laying in the bed next to Harry, him panting and sweaty and naked, felt  _so_ right to him. Louis felt like he could still feel Harry’s juicy pink lips still wrapped around him. He shifted his place on the bed, propping himself up on his elbow to stare down at the younger boy who was laying next to him.

A small grin played on his lips as he looked up at Louis. Louis smiled down at the boy, pecking his lips once more. His hand rested against his cheek, causing Harry to close his eyes. “I love you so much.” Harry whispered. “I know you didn’t want me to say it again.. But I do. I really do love you.” His eyes fluttered open again, “I hope Eleanor knows that she is so fucking lucky to have someone like you.” He said quietly.

Louis leaned his chin against Harry’s chest, looking up at the boy. He chewed on his bottom lip. “I love you too.” He murmured onto Harry’s skin.

Harry’s face lit up, a look in his eyes that Louis had never seen before appeared. Louis let out a frustrated sigh, “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

"About what?" Harry asked quietly, his fingers moved up and down Louis’ bare back slowly.

"Everything. Eleanor. You."

"What about me?"

Louis looked up to meet Harry’s eyes. “I just..” He paused. “You know that I told my mum all about you.” He murmured quietly. “And she was saying that she wanted to meet you and all of this stuff. And when I had to leave she genuinely looked like she was worried about you and she didn’t even know you. I just keep thinking about that. That she didn’t judge me for …having feelings for you even though I have a girlfriend. Someone that she actually likes.. But fuck. I catch myself thinking and worrying more about you than Eleanor during the day.” He sighed.

Harry kept his fingers moving up and down Louis’ back. His heart fluttered. He told his mum about  _him._ She wanted to meet him. He bit back a smile as Louis just kept watching him. “I have a surprise for you.” Louis whispered. He moved away from Harry, leaning off of the bed to grab his pants that were on the ground.

Harry, feeling a bit empty and cold when Louis moved away, watched Louis reaching into the pocket of his jeans. He grinned, “Nice ass.”

Louis returned back to his place on the bed, holding an envelope. He returned the grin, “Thanks boo. I know you love it.” He said in an overly sarcastic girly voice and giving him a playful wink.

Harry chuckled as Louis handed him the envelope, releasing a deep sigh. Harry opened it slowly, finding a pair of plane tickets. To New York. “If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to. I just thought you might want to see Gemma.. And I promised you that we would go one day.. Don’t feel pressured if you don’t want to take me. You can take Niall, It won’t hurt me—”

He was cut off when Harry threw the envelope aside on the bed and kissed him roughly. Louis kissed him back with a smile on his face. Harry eventually pulled away, “Thank you so much..” He smiled widely, “And I wouldn’t want anyone else to come with me, but you.”


	15. Chapter 15

Louis had it planned perfectly. He told Eleanor that Liam wanted Zayn to go with him to some place that was interviewing him for a job, but Zayn couldn’t go so Louis was accompanying him instead. Of course, that wasn’t really where Louis was going. Liam wasn’t even going anywhere at all. It was Thursday night.. So that meant that tomorrow, Louis was just going with Harry to New York. For the weekend. Just them two. It made his heart flutter with excitement and a little bit of fear. But a good kind of fear, almost like adrenaline racing through his veins. He loved how _happy_  Harry looked when they talked about this trip. He looked like he was five years old again on Christmas eve. 

Louis sat in Harry’s room and watched him pack some bags into a medium sized red suitcase. He had a smile plastered on his lips, it didn’t seem to have gone away at all for the past hour that Louis had been there.

“You’re adorable when you’re excited by the way.” Louis said. Harry turned around and looked at him, meeting his eyes. The smile on his face grew wider, his eyes shining of pure joy. “Do you think your sister will mind if I’m there?” He asked softly, standing up from his seat that he’d been in since he got there. He walked over and wrapped his arms around the younger boys’ thin torso.

Harry finished folding the shirt that was in his hand, throwing it in the suitcase. He turned around and returned the embrace to the boy in front of him. He shook his head, “Even if she does, she’ll get over it. But I’m almost positive she’ll be okay with it.” He smiled.

“Okay.” Louis’ eyes softened as Harry stared at him. “If she doesn’t want me there or if she doesn’t like me, I’m blaming it on you!” He laughed, but it faded when he noticed how intensely Harry’s eyes were looking at him. He stared back at the boy, “What? What is it?” He asked concerned.

“I don’t know.” He said quietly, a blush taking over his face. “First, of course she’ll like you. It doesn’t matter anyways if she doesn’t. She really doesn’t have a right to judge people considering she didn’t even go to her own mum’s funeral. And you’re really hard to  _not_ like. And second, you have beautiful eyes by the way.” He grinned, his face returning to the pink blush color.

Louis let out a small chuckle before pinching his cheek playfully. Honestly, he was scared to meet his sister. Considering that she was basically the only family Harry had left - the only one seemed to actually talk to anymore. So yes, he was nervous as hell. “I should probably go since we’re leaving early tomorrow.. So I’ll be here at 6 tomorrow morning. Sound good?” He smiled.

Harry nodded once and leaned it, pressing their lips together. “Can’t wait.” He winked.

* * *

 

Louis was awake, packing the last of his things that he didn’t pack the night before. Eleanor was watching him scramble across the room, giggling at the silly comments Louis would make every once in a while. He felt a bit guilty that Eleanor genuinely believed that her boyfriend was just going away until Sunday with his best friend to help him out. But he wasn’t. He was going with the boy he loved to see his sister.

“I miss you.” Eleanor said quietly.

“I haven’t left yet.”

“No, I miss _you_. - Us. I miss how we used to be.” She watched him closely as he shifted uncomfortably. “I know things have been off between us, and it started when I got mad at you when you wanted to be friends with Harry. But you have to understand that clearly, he’s gay—”

“Who gives a  _fuck_ if he  _is_  gay Eleanor?”

“There is nothing wrong with being gay, Lou. But he likes you in ways that I don’t want him to.”

“Oh, does he like me more than you do? Is that it? You don’t want a competition? He’s my best friend Eleanor. I honestly don’t give a shit if you don’t want me to be his friend or whatever, you don’t even know him—”

“I’ve tried to get to know him.” Eleanor interrupted.

“Bullshit! I tell you that his mum died and he invited you to the funeral and what do you do? You say just simply say no _._ You didn’t even ask if he was okay or if his family was okay or anything. Because  _you don’t care.”_

“No, it’s because he doesn’t like me.” She rolled her eyes.

“Because you threatened him at dinner.” Louis stood up.

Eleanor glared at him coldly. “You don’t even try to save our relationship anymore.  _You_ don’t care.”

“I do care, Eleanor.”

“Fine. You still have another hour before you have to go to the airport. Let’s go fuck in the shower like we used to all the time.” She smirked, walking towards him.

“Bye Eleanor.” Louis rolled his eyes, slipping out of the room with his suitcase. “I’ll call you when I get in.” He called over his shoulder before leaving to get Harry at Niall’s house.

* * *

 

Louis knocked on the door, but only a second later Niall opened it. “Harry’s still asleep.”

Louis nodded. slipping inside the house. He made his way into Harry’s room and crawled onto the bed. He laid flat on top of Harry’s sleeping body, which was now shifting underneath him. A soft groan escaped his mouth. “Wakeeeyyy.” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear. He began to grin, “Today’s the day. Now get up.”

Harry’s sleepy eyes opened for a second, blinking a few times. Louis grinned down at Harry before he wrapped his arms around Louis, bringing him closer to his body. He closed his eyes again, breathing in the scent of Louis. Louis laid there, feeling the warmth of Harry’s arms and the faint feeling of Harry’s heartbeat against him.

“When do we have to leave?” Harry asked, his voice raspy from the sleep.

“In like an hour. I just wanted to leave my house early because Eleanor and I got into a fight this morning.” He pulled away from the embrace, staring down at Harry. He was now straddling him on top of the bed.

Harry moved his hands to where they were holding on to his hips. He frowned, “What did you guys fight over?”

Louis leaned down and pecked his lips once, “Doesn’t matter.” He muttered.

“Yes it does, Louis. She’s your girlfriend.”

Louis frowned, sighing. “Just some shit about how she misses how we used to be. Then she brought you in and said you were gay and had a crush on me. I don’t know. She got pissed because I stood up for you. Then she wanted to fuck me in the shower, but I politely denied it,” He grinned, “She was just being a bitch like always, so it doesn’t matter.”

Harry smile grew a bit, “You turned down sex in the shower? Why on earth would you do that?” 

Louis rolled his eyes, “Because of you, you twat.”

Harry smiled, closing his eyes. His thumbs rubbed Louis’ hips softly, playing with the material of his sweat pants. “I’m tired.”

“You can sleep on the plane, babe. It’s a long flight.” Louis rolled off of him, holding his hand out for Harry to take. “Come on.”

Harry got up slowly and grabbed Louis’ hand. Harry walked over to his closet and grabbed a random t-shirt and some sweat pants - basically matching what Louis was wearing. When he was done getting dressed they both walked to the front door, hand in hand, and Harry holding his suitcase. They said goodbye to Niall then made their way to the car.

* * *

 

When they got to the airport, they were both waiting for their flight. Since neither of them got something to eat before they left, they bought a sandwich in which they both occasionally picked at. It was pretty boring honestly. They both talked about random things, enjoying each other’s company. When they ran out of things to talk about, Louis ended up falling asleep with his head on Harry’s shoulder.

About ten minutes after Louis had fallen asleep, Harry spotted a women across the room. His heart stopped. He watched the familiar women sling her bag over her arm as she looked around. It was Aiden’s mother. He nudged Louis quickly, panicking almost. “Lou.” He urged.

“What? What is it?” He asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

He glanced at the women again, catching her eyes. He stopped breathing. Because she was starting to walk towards him. “Oh god, she’s coming over here.” His breathing picked up because he didn’t know if he could handle this. But he remembered Louis next to him.

“Who Harry?” He asked, looking up to see the women.

“Harry? Is that you?” She asked, smiling sweetly.

“Hi Mrs. Grimshaw..” He said quietly, giving her a weak smile. 

“Look at you, you look so grown up. It’s been a while..” She said softly, as Harry stood up to give her a warm hug. He closed his eyes at the familiar smell of his best friend’s home and family. He could feel himself tearing up.

“How have you been?” He asked shakily as he pulled away slowly. 

“I’ve been a lot better than I have been,” She placed a hand on his cheek smiling, “What about you, love? I heard about your mum. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah.. I’ve been alright I guess.” He gave her another weak smile. “Where’s your husband?” He asked.

“He’s in the toilet. He should be out soon, I’m sure he’s going to be happy to see you babe.” She smiled warmly, glancing at Louis who was watching the two of them. Still visibly confused.

“Oh right.. Uhm, this is Louis. Louis this is Mrs. Grimshaw.. She was Aiden’s mum..” He winced a bit when he said  _was._ He still felt like he wasn’t aware of the fact that he was gone. After these 2 years, it still didn’t feel real.

Louis froze, looking at the women in front of him who was smiling at him. “Hi..” She spoke.

“H-Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” Louis returned, reaching out to her extended hand and shook it warmly.

“Joanna— Oh my. Harry is that you?” 

Harry turned to the sound of Aiden’s father walking up to the both of them. He immediately hugged the boy, smiling widely. He then turned to Louis, asking almost in a rude tone. “Who are you?”

“I’m Louis..” He said, giving him a small smile.

He didn’t return it, instead he turned to Harry. “Is he your boyfriend or what?”

Harry was surprised at the tone of the man in front of him. He turned and looked at Louis, not saying anything. He turned back to Aiden’s dad, “Uhm-“

“So you just replaced him  _just like_ _that_  huh? You realize it’s only been two years and you’ve already replaced him?” He spit.

“What?” Harry asked hurt. “I could  _never_ replace Aiden..” He almost whispered. His lips began to tremble.

Aiden’s mum’s face dropped, laying a hand on his shoulder. She mumbled to her husband to stop, “No. I’m not going to stop! Our Aiden didn’t deserve to be replaced so quickly!,” He glared coldly at Harry “Fuck you.” He walked off in the other direction leaving the two boys there and his wife. - speechless and shocked.

“I’m so sorry Harry.” She said, tears sparkled in her eyes. “You didn’t deserve that. He’s just lost it since that day. I know you can’t replace him. You deserve to be happy.” She smiled warmly at Louis, turning to Harry again. “He would want you to be happy. Do whatever you can  _to be happy._ You deserve it, love. You’re the loveliest boy I’ve ever seen and I’m so happy our Aiden got to spend his days with someone like you. I love you and if you need anything, you know where to find me. Okay babe?” She smiled, leaning forward to wipe away a few tears that had fallen from his eyes. 

Harry nodded, wrapping his arms around her. They said their goodbyes and Louis and Harry were left standing there. Louis leaned over and grabbed Harry’s hand tightly, “Stop crying babe.” He leaned forward and kissed away a few tears. “You heard her. He’s in a happy place, probably looking over you right now. He loves you and knows you will always love him.”

Harry nodded, his lips still trembling as Louis pressed his lips against his own. Louis wiped away tears with his thumbs, pulling away. He whispered quietly words that he’s only said once to Harry. “I love you.” 

Harry watched him, swallowing the lump in his throat that would release more tears. “I love you too.” He whispered, meaning it more than he had ever before.


	16. Chapter 16

The plane ride seemed quicker than they expected. They slept most of the way, waking up for a few hours at a time before dozing off again. They always seemed to be touching - even when they didn’t realize it. They just realized that they actually  _could_ touch in public now. That they were getting away from the town that knew who they were and who they were with. No one would know any of that stuff on the plane or in New York.

It seemed as if the closer they got to Gemma’s house, the more nervous Louis felt. Which was weird because it seemed like he was more nervous than Harry was. It made Harry laugh because he knew that Louis was nervous. He noticed the way that he would constantly bounce his knees at times, or just how sweaty his palms were at points when their fingers were connected. But Harry wasn’t really nervous, he was excited. It had been about two years since he last saw his sister - someone who was his best friend when they lived in the same house. But she moved to New York right after Aiden died because she saw the way that their mum was going insane basically and she was sick of the way she saw her treating Harry. He remembers her begging, in tears, for him to come with her. But he denied it, even though he really wanted to. And he knew it would’ve been the right thing to do, to just go with her. But he couldn’t just leave his mum alone. He felt like she needed at least someone. But she took that for granted. He felt like that was such a waste now since she was dead - he took all her shit for nothing basically.

"You okay Lou?" Harry asked, letting out a chuckle. He watched the boy fiddle in the seat next to him.

"Oh, I’m fine. You?" Louis returned, scratching the back of his neck with the free hand that wasn’t tangled with Harry’s. "Just a little scared of flying, that’s all." 

"Wow, so you’re just  _now_ telling me this once we’re about to land?” Harry rolled his eyes.

"Sorry babe, guess I forgot." He grinned, playing with their fingers. "You know, I’m really happy we did this. I feel like we don’t have to .. _hide_ anymore. At least for a few days. I feel like we’re free almost.” He leaned over and nuzzled his face into the side of Harry, “That was too cheesy wasn’t it? I should just stop.” He mumbled into the nape of his neck as the plane came to a bumpy landing.

Harry used his other hand and caressed Louis’ cheek almost in a playful way of silent saying  _it’s okay._ "No. I like when you say stuff like that." Harry said quietly, almost so quiet that Louis didn’t hear. He didn’t respond because he knew what Harry was thinking. Louis barely said anything about his feelings towards the younger boy. Mostly because when he did, guilt ate him alive. But sometimes he felt brave and did so anyways, but sometimes retracted - afraid of rejection. He knew Harry wasn’t going to reject him, but there was always that small fear that he had with anyone. 

Harry’s finger softly smoothed Louis’ furrowed eyebrow, whispering, “We’re here baby.”

Louis’ stomach tightened at the new term of endearment that Harry had just called him.  _Baby._ It made whatever they were seem so much more real. Louis just stared at Harry with intense eyes. He wanted so badly to just ravage the boy and have his filthy way with him. The sudden sweetness between them made Louis want the boy so badly. Harry just sort of stared back at Louis, noticing the way Louis kept just watching the him.  _Maybe calling him that wasn’t a good idea.._ He frowned, suddenly feeling a bit nervous of his reaction. But his eyes caught the bulge in Louis’ sweatpants and he looked away quickly. He held his breath to try to hold in his laughter. His attempt failed though, a small giggle escaped his lips - then a loud laugh sounded throughout the plane.

Louis rolled his eyes, knowing what he was laughing at. “Shut up.” He brushed his sweatpants off, glaring at him. “It’s your fault, you twat.”

"I didn’t do  _anything_ ,” Harry laughed, “All I said is that we were here.” He smiled innocently.

"Whatever you say." Louis grinned, "So, I guessed that Gemma wouldn’t want us to stay at her house.. Mainly because I don’t even know if she even knows that we’re coming in the first place, unless you told her.." He chuckled, "So I made a reservation for some hotel room here. Not really sure exactly where it is, but we’ll find it." He smiled sheepishly.

"Is that your way of trying to seduce me? Making a reservation for one hotel room?" Harry grinned, standing up from the plane seat that he had been sitting on for way too long. He let out a loud groan as he stretched.

Louis caught sight of his abdomen as his sweater moved up a bit as he continued to stretch his muscles. God he felt hot all over, his jaw clenched slightly. “Depends if it’s working or not.” He smiled cheekily, “No, It’s just that I thought.. that Maybe we should make the best out of our few days here alone. Well, without Eleanor.”

Harry frowned, holding his hand out for Louis to take. Louis grabbed it and stood up, stretching a bit as well. He knew that after these few days, it would be even harder to say goodbye to him and go back to the secrecy of their relationship. Hand in hand, they grabbed their luggage and made their way out of the plane.

* * *

 

Before heading to Gemma’s house, they stopped at the hotel on the way. Their room was gorgeous. They had a small kitchen like area, a bathroom, a romantic fireplace in front of the couch and above the TV, a balcony type thing (considering they were on the third story of the hotel), and one bed. It wasn’t super fancy at all, it was cozy and warm. Harry’s stomach tightened as he saw the bed - dirty thoughts raced through his mind as he just stared at it for a second as if he was waiting for it to do something interesting. He jumped a bit when Louis walked in behind him and threw his bag onto the bed. He turned to Harry, almost giving him a small smirk. Their eyes just stayed on each other until Louis took the first step to get closer to him.

They were interrupted at the sound of Louis’ phone going off in his pocket. He groaned, frustrated, he dug into his jeans. He glanced at the caller ID, frowning, he answered it. 

"Hello?" He mumbled, glancing at Harry. 

_"Babe, why didn’t you call me?"_

"Eleanor, I just got in. Calm your tits." He rolled his eyes. He gave Harry an apologetic look before walking out of the room.

Harry sighed, flopping onto the bed. He closed his eyes, he suddenly felt so hurt. This was supposed to be  _their_ time. He always saw Eleanor, but maybe he was just overreacting. It scared him honestly though. What if Louis said all this stuff to him, but still stayed with Eleanor in the end? Those kind of things scared him more than anything - to the point where he couldn’t sleep sometimes. He took a deep breath, almost like he was trying to calm himself. Because after all the things Louis has done to prove that he  _does_ care, he deserved Harry’s trust more than anyone in the world. Sure, their relationship wasn’t exactly a normal one.. But it worked for him, at least for now.

He opened his eyes when he heard Louis’ sigh as he walked back into the room. He walked over and laid next to Harry on the bed, the blankets stayed underneath them. 

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked quietly, breaking the silence

"Of course." Louis mumbled back.

"Do.. Do you love her? Eleanor?" Harry asked shakily.

Louis’ eyes opened and he turned onto his side, watching the boy in front of him. He examined the fear in his eyes - and the way he was trying to brush it aside, noticing how he was trying to ignore it.

"Honestly?" Louis breathed.

"Yes." Harry said softly.

"I- I’m not sure anymore. I don’t think so.. Not since I met you." He frowned, "I’m such an asshole."

"No, you’re not Lou.. Stop. I didn’t ask you that for you to put yourself down. I just wanted to reassure myself that this might actually be able to work." Harry sighed, moving a bit closer to Louis.

Louis slung his arm over Harry’s waist, “Were you doubting us?”

"No, not doubting. I was just.. curious, I guess. Curious at why you’re still with Eleanor.. After all of this,  _us_..” He frowned.

Louis leaned up and kissed his lips softly, “I wish I could answer that one too.”

* * *

 

Harry’s fingers trembled as they pressed onto the doorbell next to the door of Gemma’s apartment. He glanced at Louis for reassurance, who simply just gave him one of his breathtaking smiles. His heart sped up as he heard footsteps getting closer and closer. The door opened and silence filled the air as the siblings made their first eye contact in over two years. Gemma’s eyes filled with tears as she spoke quietly, “Harry?”

Harry basically leaped into his older sister’s arms - they both burst into tears. Louis watched with a sweet smile that played on his lips. He wanted to cry. Harry looked  _so happy._ He couldn’t believe that just a few months ago, Harry was just a boy who cried in his passenger seat about a life that Louis had no idea about. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Gemma managed to choke out, pushing her face farther into the messy curls on top of Harry’s head.

When they finally pulled away from each other, Harry turned around and gave Louis a watery smile. “This is Louis… He’s the reason I’m here.”

"Hello.." Louis smiled shyly. 

"Hi Louis," She returned the smile politely before turning back to Harry. "Come inside and we can talk about this." She turned and walked inside, leaving Harry there with Louis.

He took Louis’ hand, reassuring it with a squeeze before walking inside. Gemma caught sight of their hands. She turned to her brother, “Can I talk to Louis _alone_?” She asked.

Harry nodded, smiling at Louis and squeezing his hand once more. He retreated somewhere into the apartment, exploring the new surroundings and where his sister had been living for the past few years.

Louis turned to Gemma, swallowing a lump back in his throat. ”Are you going to tell me why you’re the reason he’s here or whatever?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at him. She sat a table in her kitchen, waiting for Louis to join her basically.

He made his way over and sat in vacant chair, “I promised him I would take him to see you.” He said simply, his eyes scanning her face for any kind of emotion.

"And you’re like his boyfriend, or what?"

He froze, “It’s… complicated.” He frowned, not really knowing the answer to that question.

"Explain how so." She watched him closely, "He’s been through a lot and I don’t want another ‘complicated’ thing to ruin him again."

"I know he’s been through a lot." He frowned again, "I know he has and if I could, I would go through everything he went through just so he wouldn’t have to suffer through all of it. He’s the strongest person I know. God, I love him for that. Yes, I love him. Even though things are complicated with our situation, whatever we are, he knows I love him." He let out a frustrated sigh, "I just want him to be happy. He deserves it, to be happy and smiling. That’s all I want to do anymore, my days are just filled with  _how am I going to make him smile today?_ And it scares me to fucking death. He talks about you a lot by the way.. And I know that you don’t know me, but I would love to get the chance to get to know you.” He was searching for some kind of hope in her eyes.

"Well," She smiled, "Welcome to our small family, Louis."


	17. Chapter 17

After dinner, they were all in Gemma’s living room. They sat around just watching the TV. Gemma sat in the chair next to the couch that Harry and Louis were both on. As time went on, Harry sprawled himself out - his head was in Louis’ lap while his legs were across the rest of it, his feet were sort of dangling off of the couch. Louis’ fingers massaged through his curly hair gently, letting his nails scratch against his scalp lightly. Harry sighed as he closed his eyes, almost humming from how good it felt. Louis smiled down at him, watching his eyelids until they fluttered open. He returned the smile with a toothy grin. 

Gemma watched out of the corner of her eyes, the smile that was on her brother’s face. Something she hadn’t seen in such a long time. It made her feel all happy inside. She felt a small smile twitch on her lips as they pecked each other’s lips quickly. Louis began to move around until Harry sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.

"We should probably get going. Louis rented some really pretty hotel room, so we’re staying there tonight. We’ll be back tomorrow, if that’s alright?" Harry asked, watching his sister. 

"Of course it’s okay." She grinned, standing up as well. She walked to her little brother and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She kissed the top of his curls before mumbling to him that she loves him and she missed him a lot. She then turned to Louis, who was politely waiting for them to finish their moment. He gave her a sweet smile as she walked over and hugged him too.

"Bye Louis, see you tomorrow." 

* * *

 

When they arrived back to their hotel room, it looked exactly like how they had left it. Harry walked into the room, going through his suitcase. He found another pair of sweatpants and a random shirt before turning to Louis who had just walked into the room.

"That was fun." Louis smiled, walking to him and wrapping his arms around his waist. "I was thinking.. Maybe you could come to my mum’s house with me on Christmas? I usually stay the night there on Christmas eve.. You don’t have to—"

Harry nodded, “Of course I will.” He muttered, leaning his face into Louis’ shoulder. He breathed in his scent deeply, wanting to just hide himself forever in his arms. They stood like that for a few minutes, Louis’ fingers trailing up and down his spine. Harry was so still it was almost like he fell asleep while standing up. But he moved slightly and slowly, “I’m going to take a shower.” He smiled, “Wait for me, my love?” He winked.

Louis grinned, nodding. “Of course.” 

Harry walked into the bathroom, stripping his shirt off before closing the door. He turned and caught Louis staring - so he winked again before shutting the door. He chuckled slightly to himself, shaking his head. 

When he got into the shower, he closed his eyes as the boiling hot water hit his back. He liked how it felt on his skin though. When he opened his eyes, he watched as a few drops fell down from his hair and onto his chest. But suddenly, he felt something next to him. He gasped, almost falling over, but arms caught him. He felt someone press their lips against his ear, letting out a chuckle. “Hi.” He heard the person whisper.

He knew who the sweet voice belonged to. He looked up and met Louis’ soft blue eyes.  _Was this really happening?_ Louis was in the shower. With him. And they were both naked. This wasn’t the first time that they saw each other naked, but it was the first _shower_  together, naked. “You scared the shit out of me.” Harry mumbled, as Louis pushed him against the shower wall gently. A low growl came from Louis’ lips, turning Harry on even more than the fact that they were both naked in a steamy shower.

He felt Louis’s lips trail along his neck, causing the speed of his breathing to increase. He let out a small moaning noise as he felt Louis bite down on his sensitive spot on his neck. Louis tongue rubbed over the spot before he sucked and nipped at it until there was a marking that basically was claiming Harry as his own. He did it over and over again until there were multiple love bites along his neck and his Adam’s apple. Louis’ little markings kept getting lower and lower as time went on, they now trailed from his neck to along his upper and lower chest now. 

He bit his lip hard, holding in another loud noise that threatened to escape as he felt Louis press a soft kiss on his inner thigh. Louis caught sight of Harry’s growing bulge. Harry watched him almost feeling impatient until Louis’ hot breath took over him. He felt his lips wrap around his length. He let out a low groan as his hips bucked forward a bit. 

Louis looked up at the boy, watching him almost amused. He felt like he had such power over the boy, like if he moved he could do anything.. like if his tongue went a bit  _like_ _this,_  a groan rang through the shower, “F-Fuck!” Harry shrieked as Louis hit a sensitive spot, causing Louis to smirk a bit. His hands went up and rested on his thighs - squeezing them a bit. Harry’s toes curled on the shower floor. Louis felt Harry’s fingers dig into his hair, pulling on it like he wanted Louis to be closer - so Louis obeyed.

Harry knew he wouldn’t last that much longer, especially when he finally opened his eyes for a second, meting Louis’ lust filled blue orbs. But at the same time, they were filled with so much love and so much passion. It made him feel so much more tingly inside - a mixture of the pleasure and the passion that was included. He could feel his stomach tighten, a loud moan escaped his lips as he came - holding onto the walls that were next to him. His fist was curled up to the point where his knuckles were turning white. He stood there for a second, trying to catch his breath. 

Louis stood up, licking his lips before kissing him gently. Harry could taste himself on Louis’ tongue. “You’re so beautiful.” Louis mumbled against his face before pulling away and giving him a smile. Harry returned the smile before turning to grab the shampoo. He squirted some in his hand and put it in Louis’ hair, letting out small laugh as they began to clean each other.

* * *

 

The next morning, Harry was the first one to wake up. He found himself in the tangled arms of Louis. He watched his sleeping face, with a small smile locked on his. He knew this wasn’t a good idea. This whole trip. He knew it was going to make it a hundred, maybe a thousand times harder for him to give him up again when they had to get back to London. He knew it was going to make his annoyance for Eleanor stronger. But being completely honest, it was a mixture of that and pure jealousy. 

He knew that  _she_ was the one who was his. The one who he was actually with. He wondered how much they kissed or had sex or did anything at all. He knew he shouldn’t think of any of that stuff because it just made his jealousy worse, but he couldn’t help it. That’s where his mind wondered when he thought about them. He jumped when Louis’ phone began to ring loudly next to them. Louis stirred before opening his eyes slowly, his hand reached out and grabbed it. “Hello?” He asked quietly, the tiredness in his voice obvious.

Harry could hear her through the phone, she was practically screaming, “ _Guess who I saw today? Liam_. So, y _ou are a fucking liar! Where the hell are you?! Don’t you fucking lie to me!”_

Louis sat up, “Uh..” He was at loss of words, glancing at Harry. “My mum’s house.”

_"You’re lying. I talked to her today and she didn’t mention you being there once, just about us going over there on Christmas Eve."_ She said.

Louis frowned, bring his hand through his hair frustrated. “Look, we’ll talk when I get home. Okay babe?” He sighed, feeling a bit defeated. 

Harry winced at the use of  _his_ nickname. Babe. It made him want to pull his hair out at the fact that Louis didn’t even turn to look at him with a reassuring glance or anything like he usually did. He chewed on the inside of his lip until blood was pouring out of it, but it didn’t really stop him. It was his way at distracting himself.

When Louis hung up the phone, he turned around and glanced at Harry. “Harry.” He hissed, spotting the blood that was starting to spill onto his lip. He used his sleeve to push on it to try to stop the bleeding as Harry winced a bit.

Harry watched Louis’ face, glaring at him almost coldly. Louis bit his lip, trying to get the bleeding to stop. He looked up and met Louis’ eyes, suddenly feeling guilty from his expression. His eyes were cold. “What’s wrong?” He frowned, examining his eyes.

"Nothing." Harry mumbled, glancing away from Louis. 

"I know, it’s Eleanor—"

"It’s not just her. I’m just.. I’m fucking terrified, Lou."

"Why?" Louis asked, nibbling on his bottom lip.

"I’m scared that one day, you’re going to wake up and realize that maybe you don’t want me anymore. That you’re going to want the relationship and the life that you’ve been building with her for the past few years. And I’ll be all alone, once again." Harry sighed, bringing his hands to his face. "I’m just being ridiculous. I’m sorry. It’s just me ruining something good once again right?"

"Harry, look at me." Louis’ frown stayed on his face. He leaned over, his hands grabbing onto Harry’s hands and he moved them away from his face. He looked at Harry straight in the eye. "As long as you want me, I’m here to stay. You won’t be alone ever again. I promise you.. I’m not going  _anywhere_ unless  _you_  don’t want me anymore. I don’t think I really have any control over this anymore honestly.” He ruffled the boy’s curls. “And when I say that I love you, I mean it. I wouldn’t say it if I truly didn’t mean it.” 

Harry watched Louis, “Then.. Why are you still with  _her?_ " He frowned.

"Because.. Well, because like you said, we’ve been building this life together for a few years. Before I met you, I just guessed that she was the one for me. But when I met you, I’m not so sure about that. I’m sure about  _you._  But I can’t just end it with her  _just like that._  It’s just kind of complicated I guess.” He frowned.

"Why is everything so complicated?" Harry breathed, "I just want something normal for once."

"Me too." Louis almost whispered, "But I’ll promise you something else. I’ll end it with her before Christmas, so that  _you_ will be the one I take to my mum’s house. Not her. Deal?” He smiled.

Harry froze, realizing that Christmas was just 18 short days away. He could feel himself wanting to cry of happiness. Because in just 18 days, he might be able to tell everyone that he was dating Louis. That  _he_ was Louis’. He wouldn’t have to hide.  _They_ wouldn’t have to hide anymore. But he would have to still have Eleanor as his teacher.. And he could see the awkward days that were to come. He believed Louis. Coming from the few other promises that Louis had made in the past, he always followed through. He wanted to scream.

Harry nodded quickly, realizing how long he had been silent. His lips were beginning to tremble of excitement as Louis grinned. He leaned forward and kissed him softly. “You’re so cute.” Louis laughed, pinching his cheek.


	18. Chapter 18

"Eleanor? Um. What the fuck do you want?" Zayn asked after he opened the door to reveal her standing there. The multiple knocks and doorbell rings had woken him up at a fairly early time in the morning and he thought it would be at least someone important standing there. Zayn and Eleanor didn’t get along as well as she did with Liam and all of Louis’ friends. In fact, they didn’t particularly like each other.

"I just needed to talk to you." Eleanor said simply, pushing her way into Zayn and Liam’s home. Zayn felt almost like he was being violated and exposed, "And I’m not stupid, I know Liam isn’t with Louis so don’t keep going on with that act." She made her way into their living room and sat down on the couch. She watched Zayn follow her slowly, sitting on the opposite side of her. 

"Um. Okay…" Zayn said, waiting for her to continue with a confused look on his face.

"Is Louis cheating on me?"

_Shit._  Zayn rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging a bit. “Uh, I don’t know why you’re asking me this Eleanor.” He wasn’t always the best liar.

"Because you guys are basically inseparable and I know he tells you everything." Eleanor said, examining Zayn’s face closely.

"Look, I don’t know. Okay?" Zayn said simply, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the looks Eleanor was giving him.

"Who is she?" She asked softly, standing up.

_You mean he._ "I just said that I didn’t fucking know who or if there was anything going on with anyone. Now can you get the fuck out? I am kinda fucking tired and I don’t want to deal with your shit at this time of morning." Zayn asked as polite as he possibly could, rubbing his eyes.

"You know, I don’t know how you even got Liam. He’s so fucking sweet and you don’t even deserve him  _at all._ He probably feels forced to be with you because it’s been so long. You’re just a fucking asshole, you faggot.” Eleanor spit.

He  _always_ knew that he didn’t deserve Liam, at all. Liam was perfect and he just, ..wasn’t. But hearing it from someone else - it hurt. It hurt so much and he tried his best to bite down the tears that wanted to come. Zayn stood up as well, “Eleanor, I hope you know that calling me a faggot doesn’t make you seem like a better person than you already think you are. At least  _I_ am fucking happy. And at least Liam doesn’t look like he’s going through pure torture every time he’s with me like Louis looks like when he’s around you. Because you know what? You don’t deserve Louis. He deserves someone -  _anyone_ other than you. I  _hope,_  that he’s cheating on you honestly. You’re a psycho bitch these days.” Zayn glared at her coldly.

Eleanor’s lips began to wobble. Her eyes went ice cold as she stumbled her way out of Zayn and Liam’s home furiously. Zayn’s head fell into his hands as a soft sobbing noise tumbled out of his lips and rang through the silence of the room as soon as she left. He stood up and shuffled his way back into his room, seeing Liam laying there sleeping. Liam had a small smile on his face as he continued to peacefully dream. Zayn crawled up into the bed, wrapping an arm around Liam’s waist. He leaned forward and pressed a couple of soft kiss against Liam’s cheek before falling back asleep, pulling Liam as close as possible to him.

* * *

 

Louis watched as Harry stared out the window of the cab that they were in. They decided to go sight seeing before they went to Gemma’s again. Today was their last full day that they had in New York - their plane left the next morning. A grin took over Harry’s face as he turned back to Louis, almost like he had to tell him something, but he saw that Louis was already looking at him. He closed his eyes and leaned into Louis, snuggling a bit closer to him. Even though Harry was a bit taller than Louis, he felt safer when Louis was the one that seemed to be bigger.

"I’m gonna miss this when we have to go back." Harry mumbled softly into Louis’ arm.

"We’ll still see each other like we did before. Even if it consists with some sneaking around. We’ve done it before, I think we’ll live for a little bit longer." Louis gave Harry a sweet smile, pulling him a bit closer. 

_A little bit longer._  It made Harry smile, that meant  _soon._. Harry took a deep sigh, “I know.” He wanted to remember this perfect moment. He honestly could stay here forever and forget everything that was in his ‘life’ hours away from them. He just wanted to stay with Louis. Everything here seemed so perfect.

Louis leaned down and kissed Harry softly, “Everything will be fine, don’t worry love.”

Harry grinned as he mentally wrote down another one of the nicknames that Louis had given him. Each of them meant everything to him.

* * *

 

At dinner that night at Gemma’s, it was kind of quiet. Mostly because Harry and Louis knew that their last day of basically freedom for them was coming to an end. Harry stared down at his food, biting on his bottom lip softly. He felt Louis’ hand drop into his lap, giving his leg a reassuring squeeze. Harry looked up and met his eyes, smiling a little.

Louis’ phone began to ring. He glanced down, spotting Eleanor’s name. He frowned. Harry’s eyes saw the name too causing him to let out a sharp sigh. Louis looked at him apologetically. 

"I’ll be right back.." Louis mumbled, standing up, "What Eleanor?" He asked, walking out of the room.

Gemma glanced at Harry, “Who’s Eleanor?”

Harry watched Gemma, not speaking. He guessed that the look in his eyes gave it away because Gemma took in a deep breath, “No. Harry, tell me he doesn’t have a  _fucking girlfriend?!”_  She watched as Harry’s facial expression didn’t change, “Are you kidding me?”

"I..  _we_ told you it was complicated.” Harry answered, watching his sister stand up from the table.

"I didn’t think that it was like  _that._ I didn’t think that was the type of complicated that you were talking about! I didn’t think that’s what you meant Harry! What is wrong with you, are you dumb?” She hissed.

"Wow, thanks." Harry rolled his eyes, standing up from the table as well. "Maybe I am."

"You know what I mean, Harry! What are you going to do if things don’t turn out right in the end, huh? Yes Louis seems like a nice guy, but what if he isn’t who you think he is in the end? What if he does something that hurts you?"

"I know, Gemma. I’m scared of that too. Okay? But I trust him so much. He knows more about me then I think I know about myself sometimes. He helps me with my insecurities and he makes me feel wanted and loved. I just don’t know what to do sometimes.. Because sometimes I don’t know how much longer I can take, but I know that I can’t let him go because I love him. I love him so much… So stop. I can take care of myself and I’ve been doing it just fine without you for the past two years." He said quietly, glancing towards the room that Louis was in.

"Okay Harry. I trust what you say about him.. Just know that I am your older sister and it’s normal for me to be protective of you. I just don’t want to see you to get hurt again. You don’t deserve that."

"I.. I don’t think Louis wants me to get hurt again either.." He said softly, a faint smile appeared on his face. "So, don’t worry."

* * *

 

After dinner, Harry and Gemma said their emotional goodbyes. It made Louis’ heart hurt to watch them both crying. They had been reunited and it was like Louis was tearing them apart again. But of course, it wasn’t  _his_ fault. Well, he hoped.

Louis and Harry packed their suitcases in silence. They gave each other small smiles every now and then, sometimes handing each other articles of clothing that belonged to the other that landed in their piles of clothing. When they finished, they ended up just laying in the hotel bed cuddling. Harry didn’t want to fall asleep, he didn’t want to wake up knowing they were going back to their same old boring life. 

"What did Eleanor say today, when she called you?" Harry whispered suddenly. The movement of Louis’ fingers on Harry’s bare back underneath his shirt froze for a second before continuing to move again.

"She.. she told that she spoke to Zayn today. She asked him if I was cheating on her and he told her that he wishes that I was. I don’t know, I feel like there’s so much more to that story." He said quietly. "Zayn wouldn’t just say that to her."

"What did you say when she asked if you were cheating on her..?" Harry almost whispered, his heart was pounding.

"I told her that I wasn’t.." Louis said, watching Harry’s face drop slowly. "I’m sorry."

Harry shook his head. He just had a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, that this would be the beginning of their  _real_ relationship. That if he told her that he was cheating then maybe it would be easier for him to let go of her. But now, lying to her, it was going to be harder for Louis to do it. He knew it would be - considering how good of a heart Louis had. He hated it sometimes though. It was like it never ended - all the bad luck for him.

"You’re mad at me.." Louis said softly, feeling Harry tense up a bit. He ran his fingers through his dark curls slowly.

Harry shook his head again, “No, I’m not. I’m just… frustrated I guess.”

"I’m so sorry." Louis said, feeling guilty. His fingers untangled from Harry’s hair as he sat up quickly, panicking a bit.

Harry sat up too, “Stop. I trust you.” The frown stayed on his lips as he stared at Louis in front of him. Louis’ jaw clenched as he closed his eyes, leaning forward to rest his face into Harry’s shoulder. 

"I love you so much." Louis mumbled, "I wish I was strong and brave like you are. But I’m not. I’m a fucking coward who’s scared of breaking up with a girl that’s just completely different then she used to be. I don’t even want her anymore. I just, I want you. I want to tell people that you’re mine. I want to be able to say that you’re my boyfriend. But I’m too scared to do anything like that. I’m sorry for messing everything up." He choked out, his hands fisted into the material of Harry’s shirt - frustrated with himself.

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, leaning down to press a soft kiss against his messy hair. ”Lou, stop. I know when the time is right, it will happen.  _We_ will happen. Don’t apologize for anything okay? Because if it wasn’t for you, I don’t know where I would be right now honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever needed or loved someone so much..” He mumbled into the older boy’s hair.

"What about…" Louis trailed off, kind of regretting even saying anything at all.

Harry knew who he was talking about, “I know. But, it’s just different. With him, I loved him but he was my best friend over anything that we were. I loved him with everything in me, I still do.. But with you.. You loved me when I was at my lowest point.. When no one even wanted me, you were still there. Even when we weren’t really  _anything.._ you still wanted to help me. And that opened my eyes a bit, I don’t even know what I’m going on about anymore.” Harry chuckled, “I love you. And that won’t change, so take as much time as you need to do whatever you need to do.”


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as they landed, Harry stayed by Louis’ side. He was aware that he couldn’t do anything affectionate because people they knew could be around them. So they just stood as close as they could to each other, Harry holding onto the fabric of Louis’ jumper. They walked in silence until they got into Louis’ car that had been left there for the past few days. 

"I don’t want to go back yet," Harry frowned, throwing his suitcase into the back of the car before opening the passenger door to get in.

"I don’t want to go either, babe." Louis said, also throwing his stuff in the back. He got into the driver’s seat, glancing at Harry. He spotted his frown, "Smile, please.." Louis murmured.

"Why?" Harry muttered, glancing at Louis. His eyes were soft.

"Because I like it when you smile." Louis answered, poking his cheek. "Please." He begged.

Harry glared at him for another second before giving him a forced smile and turning the other way. Louis sighed, starting the car. “Mind if we stop by Zayn’s and Liam’s first?”

Harry shook his head, “No, like I said.. I don’t want to go back yet.” Harry sighed, reaching out to touch the skin on Louis’ arm for some kind of physical contact that he was craving.

Louis brought one of his hands off of the steering wheel to intertwine his fingers with Harry’s. He glanced at Harry, giving him a reassuring smile before looking back at the road. Harry tightened the grip on Louis’ hand, almost like he didn’t want to let go of it ever. 

* * *

 

When they arrived, Louis and Harry walked through Zayn & Liam’s door without knocking. “Louis!” He heard Liam yell, walking over towards the both of them. Louis gave him a grin as they both greeted him. Harry returned the little hug that Liam gave him also, giving him a smile.

"Hey guys." Zayn said as he walked into the room, "How was the trip?"

"It was great." Louis smiled, looking at Harry who nodded - agreeing with him.

"Someone got laid." Zayn laughed, causing Louis and Harry to turn bright red.

"Shut up, Zayn." Louis laughed. He gave Harry’s hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing it. Louis glanced at Zayn, "Can I talk to you?" He asked.

Zayn nodded, walking into the other room with Louis. Harry and Liam both looked at each other. Liam was obviously confused, but Harry knew exactly what they were talking about. 

"Eleanor called me last night and was telling me some things…" Louis frowned, scanning Zayn’s face. "She told me that you guys spoke?" 

"Yeah, she decided to come over way too early in the morning. You need to teach the bitch some manners." Zayn rolled his eyes.

Louis stared at Zayn, waiting for him to explain. He was a little surprised at how openly mean he was being about her to him. Usually he would make a few comments to Louis, earning some glares, but it was like he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. Louis kept watching Zayn as he shifted on his feet. “Well, she told me that you told her that you wanted me to cheat on her and she said that you were being rude to her..?” He pushed.

Zayn rolled his eyes, “That’s all that she told you?” He asked. Louis gave him a nod, basically encouraging him to tell him more. So Zayn continued, “Well she left out the part where she barged into  _my_  home when I didn’t even invite her in. Oh and when she called me a faggot. And when she told me that I don’t deserve Liam because he’s the sweetest person and I’m just an asshole. So, I told her that she didn’t deserve  _you._  I told her that I hoped you were cheating on her because you deserve someone a lot better than that bitch. I was just telling her the truth, so if she thinks that telling on me is going to change anything..” He trailed off, shaking his head and chuckling without humor. 

Louis stayed silent, playing with his fingers. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He took a deep sigh, “Did you tell Liam..?” He asked softly.

"Of course I didn’t. What am I supposed to tell him? ‘Oh by the way, the dumb bitch Eleanor made me cry because of you.’ I’m not going to make him worry about me." Zayn rolled his eyes.

Louis didn’t say anything, but he didn’t miss the ‘ _made me cry because of you’_ part. Zayn cried - he honestly had never seen Zayn cry in all the years that he had known him and here his girlfriend had made him cry. 

They looked like they were both in deep thought as Louis chewed on his bottom lip slightly. “What should I do, Zayn?” Louis asked quietly after a few minutes of silence passed. 

"Honestly? Dump the whore. Be with Harry. It’s written all over your face that that’s what you want. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t like Eleanor, I’m saying that because you seem happiest with Harry. You have a look in your face that I’ve never seen before. I just want  _you_ to be happy. Think about what  _you_ want. Could you see yourself married to Eleanor in ten years? Being happy? Or could you see yourself with Harry? Don’t try to make other people happy, make yourself happy for once.” Zayn said, giving him an encouraging smile.

Louis nodded, “Okay.. Thank you.” He almost whispered, “And I’m sorry about what Eleanor said..” 

"You shouldn’t have to apologize for her." Zayn said simply, standing up and walking out of the room.

Louis followed him out of the room, Harry watched his face but his face was hard to read. It had a ..different look to it, an expression he hadn’t really ever seen before. Louis looked at him, “Ready to go?” He asked softly, taking Harry’s hand. Harry gave him a weak nod, following him out to the car.

"Everything okay?" Harry asked, watching Louis’ intense face.

"What? Yeah, everything’s fine." Louis said, "I had to just ask him about what Eleanor had said to him. And it was a lot more than what  _she_ told me.” He rolled his eyes.

"What happened..?" Harry asked, watching Louis’ face change. It looked almost as if he was trying to find the words to say, "You don’t have to tell me." 

"No, I will. I trust you," He paused, "I trust you with everything in me.. " He smiled at Harry, "It’s just, Eleanor said some things to him about how he didn’t deserve Liam. And.. he cried. I know that sounds weird, but I’ve never  _ever_ seen him cry.. I’ve known him for a long time too. It’s just.. That just proves that whoever I  _loved_ is gone. The old Eleanor wouldn’t do that to anyone. And if she made someone cry, she felt like shit. Always..” He frowned as a few memories popped into his head.

Harry watched as Louis shook off his frown and turned back to look him in the eyes, “And He told her that he wished I was cheating on her too.” He let out a small laughter. “Ironic, eh?” He leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly.

* * *

 

Louis walked into the familiar house that was his and Eleanor’s. He still had the moments from minutes before of him saying goodbye to Harry replaying in his mind. As soon as the door closed behind him, rolling his suitcase in as well, Eleanor was in front of him. She had a bright grin on her face as she walked up to him.

"I missed you so much." She said quietly, hugging him tightly.

Louis didn’t return the hug as much as she wanted him to. He just awkwardly stood there until she realized there was something wrong between them. The weird tension in the air. Her eyebrows furrowed as she pulled away and stared at Louis. “Something wrong?”

Louis stood there, his heart was pounding hard. So incredibly hard that he could basically hear it - it felt like it was going to leap out of his throat. He swallowed thickly, “I think we should stop seeing each other.” 

They both stood there, staring at each other. Eleanor took a step away from him, crossing her arms. “Excuse me?”

"This isn’t going to work out between us." Louis said simply, chewing on his lip. 

"It’s been working just fine for the past three years." She spit, giving him a cold glare. "Did I do something wrong?"

"You know, I talked to Zayn." Louis said, pushing his suitcase aside. He leaned against the wall, "He told me everything about what  _you_ said to him in the first place. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that? I actually believed that maybe he  _was_ being too harsh for you, but after hearing the full story..” He laughed without humor, “You deserved every word that he said to you. Him and Liam have been perfectly happy and you have  _no fucking_ _place_  to tell them  _anything_ like that. Do you hear me?” He said much harsher and louder than he usually spoke.

"He was being a complete dick to me, Louis! How would you feel if someone told you ‘Oh I hope your girlfriend is cheating on you.’ Huh? Think about how I felt. Maybe I said it because I was in the moment, but I  _did not_ deserve anything that he said to me.”

Louis shook his head, “No one deserves anything that both of you guys said to each other. But I still think we should stop seeing each other.”

Eleanor’s voice softened, “Why, Louis? What did I do? I must have done something else besides the whole Zayn thing. Because whatever I did, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll try to make everything better again. We can try to be  _us_ again. We can put aside any of this drama and just start over. Remember how it was in the beginning? Remember how we felt when we met each other’s families and how we felt after we said I love you for the first time? Do you want to just throw that all away because of a small rough patch that we’re having in our relationship? Can we just go back to the beginning..?” Eleanor sighed, her eyes watered with tears. 

And for that moment, Louis saw the old Eleanor. The one he fell in love with. And he honestly wanted to just crumble into a ball and cry and apologize for hurting her. But he didn’t. Because he kept one face in his mind the entire time.

_I’m doing this for **him**. For  **us**. _

Zayn’s words repeated in his head,

_'Think about what you want. Could you see yourself married to Eleanor in ten years? Being happy? Or could you see yourself with Harry? Don't try to make other people happy, make yourself happy for once.'_

"I don’t love you anymore, El. I.. I’m in love with someone else. You were right, I’ve been cheating on you. And I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. You don’t deserve that.. But it’s just I’m honestly so much happier with them.."

Eleanor held her breath, her eyebrows furrowing. “You.. You’re cheating on me? Who is she?!”

Louis bit his lip, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He paused, “It’s Harry.. I’m  _in love_ with Harry, Eleanor. I’m sorry..” He apologized again, almost whispering.

“ _Harry_?! You’re fucking gay? You like _Harry?_ " And just like that, the look in Eleanor’s eyes that reminded him of the old Eleanor disappeared almost as quickly as it reappeared.

"I love him.. so fucking much. And I know you don’t understand, but he means the world to me. Holy fuck, El, I can barely understand why.." Louis shook his head, bringing his hands to his face.

”..Was he with you?”

Louis looked up, “What?”

"Wherever you just came from.. Was he with you?" She asked quietly.

"Yes.." He watched as Eleanor’s face crumble slightly, "I took him to New York to visit his sister that he hasn’t seen in over two years.. She’s basically his only family member that he has left." 

Eleanor sighed deeply, her jaw was clenching a bit. She walked a bit closer to Louis and slapped him in the face. Louis stared at her as the glare cut him deep in the heart. It was a glare that was mixed with hurt and anger. She looked insane in those few seconds that they just stared at each other. “I can’t fucking believe you. I thought I could trust you, Louis. So good luck to him. I hope he knows that he’s basically going to have to baby you. And that you give up on  _everything_. You need to grow the fuck up. You’re not eighteen anymore, get a job, get off your ass. Work hard for something.  _Fight for something._ So good luck to him! Good luck to the both of you.” She spit, not meaning any of the good lucks at all. She wished them hell if anything.

The room went silent until Louis’ phone rang. Louis answered it immediately, not checking who it was. “Hello?” He asked a bit breathlessly.

"Hey.." A quiet voice was on the other line. Harry.

"Hi.." Louis said softly, glancing at Eleanor.

There was a slightly long pause, “I’m at the park and I was just thinking about you. I wanted to hear your voice. I just missed you..” Harry breathed into the phone. 

Louis bit his lip, “I’m coming.” He broke the stare that he had with Eleanor, walking towards the door again. “Oh and I miss you too, babe.” He smiled a bit. He hung up and looked back at Eleanor. “You should start packing your stuff.” He spit, “And you know what? I  _am_  fighting for something - for someone. You don’t know shit. You don’t even fucking know the real me anymore.”

* * *

 

Louis put his hands in his pockets as he felt a few chills go through his body. His heart was beating quickly as he spotted Harry laying in the grass and staring at the stars. Louis grinned, running to him. Before Harry could move and dodge Louis, Louis had him pinned down in the grass - straddling him. He leaned down and whispered into his ear, “Boo.”

Harry looked up, grinning wide. “You scared the shit out of me.” He mumbled before Louis’ face bent down and he kissed him deeply. He squirmed a bit under Louis’ weight as Louis pushed his hands to his sides. Harry could barely move, so he kept squirming - causing Louis to laugh a bit against his lips. He pulled away and got off of Harry, sitting next to him simply. They both looked at each other, examining each other’s faces for a few seconds. 

"I love you, so much." Louis said, wrapping his arms around Harry as they both laid back into the grass again. His head was rested against his chest as Harry put an arm around his shoulder, bringing him closer.

"I love you too." Harry almost whispered.

"I did it," Louis propped himself up on his elbow to look down at Harry, "I broke up with her. I’m all yours now."


	20. Chapter 20

_The man stood in front of Aiden, his hands made their way to his side. They brought back a gun and all Harry did was crouch in the bushes, unable to move. He felt paralyzed in shock. The man’s eyes were a haunting blue that Harry could never forget and his mouth was in a perfectly straight emotionless line. His fingers moved as he pulled the trigger. Harry flinched a bit at the noise of gun fire, but was still unable to move. Aiden fell to the ground with a small yelp, his breathing quickened. The man crouched down next to him, feeling his pulse. He was still alive. But looking at the gun wound, he knew that he would bleed to death. He wanted him to suffer, so he left him there._

_As soon as the man left, Harry ran out of the bushes. He fell to his knees next to Aiden. Tears were already falling from his eyes as he bit his wobbling lips. Aiden looked up at Harry, tears in his eyes as well. Harry cupped Aiden’s face for a second with his free hand - the other was applying pressure to the bleeding gun wound. He pulled away his shaky hand from Aiden’s face and called the ambulance. He then looked back at Aiden, who had his eyes locked on Harry’s face already. Harry moved foreward, keeping his hand pushed on the wound, and placed his face into the nape of Aiden’s neck. Aiden was shaking slightly as his breathing quickened even more._

_"I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I love you. Please don’t leave me. I need you. I really do need you. I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m sorry." Harry repeated over and over again into the silence in quiet whispers._

* * *

 

Harry awoke with a gasp as the memories fled through his brain. He was trembling as the memories basically cut open every single scar that he had from that night. They were clear as day again. It wasn’t that he forgot them, he just didn’t want to think about it as much. Tears burned in his eyes, he shifted in the bed - touching someone’s leg in the process. He froze. He sat up and saw Louis sleeping peacefully. A smile formed on Harry’s lips because he was so distracted by the dream that he had forgotten about the day before.

Louis was his.

Louis told him that he had broken up with Eleanor and everything was suddenly good in his life again. He could tell people that he had an amazing and perfect and beautiful boyfriend. He wasn’t alone anymore and people would know it too. He wouldn’t have to be known as the boy with no one - no family, no friends, no boyfriend. Because he felt like he had a family and friends again. He felt loved again. And the fact that Louis wanted to stay with him at Niall’s because he didn’t feel like going to Eleanor just showed him that he really was  _just his._

But his mind went back to his dream, causing him to tremble again. Mostly because he felt like Aiden would think he was replacing him. Just like his dad had told him, those words had stuck in his mind. He could feel warm tears trickle down his cheeks again as he wiped them quickly, but they soon started falling heavier and quicker than they were before. He tried to stop crying, but it made it worse. 

Louis’ eyes fluttered open at the sudden movements next to him on the bed. The bed was moving a little, but it was moving enough to wake him up. He sat up quickly as he heard the noise of a soft sob through the silence of the quiet room. His face met Harry’s in the darkness, they could barely see each other. The only way was because of the soft shine of the moon through the window.

"Babe, what’s wrong?" Louis frowned, wrapping an arm around him.

Harry shrugged, pushing himself closer to Louis. “Nothing, just a dream. Go back to sleep.” He murmured quietly into Louis’ neck.

Louis’ fingers played along the soft skin of Harry’s back under his shirt. “Tell me about it.” He whispered into his curls.

Harry frowned, his lips wobbling again. Louis felt them moving against his neck, he pulled away and kissed his lips softly to try to stop them. “Don’t cry.” he whispered quietly.

Harry nodded helplessly, wrapping an arm around Louis’ chest. He pressed his body against Louis’, “I just had a dream of when Aiden died. And it was like..  _exactly_ what happened. It was so real and it just scared the shit out of me. And it was every single detail, the guy who did it even looked the same.” He said shakily, pushing the blankets off of him as he felt small sweat speckles dripping along his neck.

"Why didn’t you wake me up?" Louis asked, tangling their fingers together and pressing his knuckles against his lips.

Harry watched his hand as his fingers were kissed softly, “Well I obviously did. I didn’t want to.” 

Louis frowned, sitting up to look down at Harry. “Why not?”

Harry’s lips twitched as he looked up at Louis’ face. “Because it’s embarrassing.” He let out a deep sigh, shifting in the bed.

Louis’ frown stayed locked on his lips, “No it’s not. It’s me, you don’t have to be embarrassed about anything.”

Harry’s lips turned into a sweet smile, “I know..” He sighed, changing the subject, “Tomorrow’s Monday. I’m not going to school, so we can spend some time together.”

Louis chuckled lightly, playing with their intertwined fingers. “You need to stop missing so much school, or you’ll be there again next year.”

"I  _know._ I just, don’t want to be there ..with  _her.._ for at least today. I’ll go tomorrow, promise.” He smiled, watching Louis.

"Okay. And you can help me today get all of Eleanor’s stuff out of my house. If you want, of course."

Harry nodded, bringing the blankets up to his chin. He turned on his side, feeling Louis press against him. Louis pressed a few sweet kisses against his neck, “Goodnight.. Again.” He smiled. He knew that Harry’s mind was off of his dream and hopefully he would be able to fall asleep again without waking up from a bad dream again.

* * *

 

"So, you guys official now or what?" Niall called to Louis, who was walking down the stairs rubbing his sleepy eyes.

Louis walked over to the couch that Niall was sitting lazily across. He sat down, moving his legs to the side. A smile grew on his lips, “Yeah. I broke up with Eleanor last night.” 

"I’m happy for you guys. And lucky for you, you don’t have to see her every day for the rest of the school year. What if she does something bad to us? What if she fails me? I’m going to blame it all on you if she does." Niall let out small giggle, pressing himself further into the couch. "How was New York for  _you?_ When Harry walked in the door after you guys got back, he looked like he had just touched his first boob.”

Louis raised his eyebrows, “What the hell?” He laughed loudly, “But, it was really nice.” He smiled at the memories that had taken place days before.

"Yeah.. I didn’t really think that one over before I said it.. If he was straight, that would’ve been perfect! He looked like he had.. Just touched his first dick! Does that work?" He watched as Louis continued to look at him weirdly, "Well he looked happy, okay?"

"And you just couldn’t have said that?" He laughed again, running his fingers through his hair lightly.

He smiled at Niall once more before standing up from the couch and stretching. He walked up the stairs and flopped himself back onto the bed. Harry bounced lightly next to him. He leaned over, pressing his lips against Harry’s ear. “Wake up.” He whispered. Harry let out a small groan, moving away from the sound. Louis chuckled to himself, standing up and jumping lightly on the bed. He then fell to his knees on top of Harry, straddling him. “Please Harry?” He whispered, Harry didn’t move. Louis rolled his eyes, getting off of Harry. He walked into the bathroom, starting the shower and getting in. 

Harry’s eyes opened to the sound of Louis’ phone ringing on the table next to him. He grabbed it off of the table before rolling out of the bed and walking towards the bathroom. He opened the door, calling to Louis, “Your mum is calling.”

Louis opened the shower curtain, peering at Harry, “Will you answer that for me, love?” He asked.

"Why?" Harry asked shyly, feeling a bit nervous about talking to Louis’ mum for the first time.

"Please? She’ll probably just want to know about Christmas or something. She knows who you are, so no need to be scared." He smiled sweetly, closing the shower curtain.

Harry took a deep breath before clicking the answer button, “Hello?”

"Hi Louis— Oh. Hello.. Who is this?" She asked.

"This is Harry, erm.. Louis’ in the shower right now. I can tell him to call you back if you’d like?" Harry replied, glancing back at the shower curtain where Louis’ head popped out again. He made a funny face, making Harry laugh into the phone. He swatted his arm as if he was telling him to stop.

"Oh, hi Harry! It’s very nice to sorta meet you, over the phone, Louis told me all about you love!" She answered.

"Hopefully good things," He grinned to himself. 

"Everything he told me about you was good of course," Harry’s smile widened as she continued, "Well, could you please tell Louis that Eleanor called me earlier and I just had to talk to him?" 

"Of course I will." 

"Thank you babe! Hope your day is well. I’ll hopefully talk to you soon."

Harry smiled to himself as he said goodbye to Louis’ mum. She was sweet, sweeter than anyone’s parents he had ever met in his life. He wanted to cry honestly. He looked up and met Louis’ soft eyes, “Told you she likes you already.” He smiled.

Harry shrugged, placing the phone onto the counter next to him.

"Now get your cute little ass in here." Louis grinned, watching as Harry immediately began to undress to join him in his morning shower.

* * *

 

As it got later in the day, Louis and Harry decided to go back to Louis’ house. Of course Harry was nervous. It would be the first time that he would face Eleanor since Louis broke up with her for him. He didn’t know how she was going to be or react to him and he thought it was a good idea to get a glimpse of how she was going to be as the school year continued. They pulled up in the driveway, Harry saw Eleanor’s car and another one as well. Maybe her friend or siblings to help her move out?

"Her brother is here as well, so just ignore them if they say anything." Louis mumbled as they walked up to the door. Harry nodded shakily.

They opened the door and walked inside. Boxes were scattered, most of the labeled Eleanor - or just things like that. Louis reached for Harry’s hand, almost like he was trying to comfort him. He immediately spotted Eleanor who just glanced at Louis for a second. But she did a double take when she saw Harry there as well. She bit her lip, almost angry, and continued to pack her boxes.

Harry’s heart was pounding as he moved through the apartment closely behind Louis. Louis turned around and gave him a reassuring smile. Harry returned it, turning into the kitchen after Louis. In there was Eleanor’s brother. As soon as Harry saw him, he stopped dead. Louis didn’t notice until he kept walking and was pulled back a bit by the sudden stop.

Harry suddenly felt like throwing up, because those haunting blue eyes from his dream were right in front of him. The same man who had pulled the trigger and killed Aiden.


	21. Chapter 21

Harry felt like he was glued to the floor. He felt his heart drop as he watched the man walk across the kitchen, not really paying attention to either of them. When Harry regained feelings in his legs, he untangled his fingers roughly from Louis’ before speed walking through the backdoor. Louis looked around, confused at the sudden freak out coming from Harry. He ran out after him, finding him sitting on the steps. He was staring blankly out at the yard.

"What was that?" Louis asked, sitting next to him. He wrapped an arm around him, bringing him closer to his body in a comforting manner.

Harry stayed silent and didn’t react to Louis’ embrace for a few moments. He finally turned into the side hug, taking a deep breath. “Her brother..” He trailed off.

"John..?" Louis raised his eyebrows at Harry, who pulled away slowly to look up at him. Harry’s eyes struck him, they were filled with fear.

"Y-Yeah.. He, He’s the one who did it. He shot Aiden." He almost whispered.

Louis’ heart stopped. They both sat in silence, Louis just staring into Harry’s tear-filled eyes. They had a look in them that he never wanted to see. Just plain fear and terror and sadness all mixed together into one look. He swallowed thickly, realizing something. That at some point of knowing John, John had killed Aiden. He killed the only person that Harry basically had had left and he didn’t even realize it. He didn’t realize that he had been friends with a murderer for the past few years without even knowing.

"I’m going to go tell them to leave.. Just stay here, okay?" Louis murmured softly, starting to stand up a bit.

Harry grabbed onto his arm, latching onto him. “I don’t want you near him, please..” He whispered, his voice shaking, “I can’t lose you too.”

"I’ll be fine, love. I’ve known him for like three years.. I think that if he wanted to do something to me he would’ve done it sooner." Louis gave him a comforting smile, "If you want, you can go into my room and wait?" He asked, holding his hand out for Harry to take.

Harry grabbed it immediately, his fingers shaking. He stood up, pressing himself against Louis as they moved back into the house. As soon as they walked by the stairs, Louis turned around and gave Harry’s hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing his fingers. Harry quickly disappeared up the stairs and into Louis’ room. Louis turned his attention back to the fact that his ex girlfriend and her brother, also a murderer, were in his kitchen. He bit his lip as he walked into the same room as them.

"So that’s the lad you dumped El for, huh?" John spoke, causing Eleanor to hit his arm as if she was telling him to shut up.

"Um.." Louis spoke awkwardly, "Can you guys leave?"

"You want the house to yourself so you guys can fuck? I get it." He winked, "Don’t worry. We’re almost done."

"No, I want you guys to leave now. I don’t want either of you in  _my_ home right now.” Louis said, glancing at Eleanor who froze a bit at his stressed tone. 

"Woah, what’s your problem?"

"Come on, John. I’ll come back by tomorrow and get the rest." Eleanor said, tugging on John’s arm. She gave Louis a confused look and walked out of the apartment, leaving Louis there in the kitchen by himself. He felt like his emotions were going crazy - like he didn’t know exactly what to feel. A part of him was scared shitless, another part of him was worried, and another was still happy knowing that he had Harry. He let out a deep breath, shaking off whatever shaky feelings he was feeling before before walking up the stairs to join Harry.

He almost let out a soft moan at the sight of Harry. He just looked so innocent and …adorable was just an underestimate. He had the blanket of Louis’ bed across his lap, he was leaning against the headboard of his bed. His arms were crossed as he stared absentmindedly across the room until he saw Louis and his eyes lit up. A small grin twitched on his lips as Louis crawled into the bed next to him. Neither of them spoke for a while, just the sounds of them shifting in the bed every once in a while. The only movement was the slow movements of their fingertips rubbing softly against their bare skin. Louis’ stomach did all kind of flips with every movement of Harry’s long slender fingers. He honestly would lay there forever if he could because this moment was pure perfection to him. This was honestly what he could live with for the rest of his life. “God, you have no idea how much I love you.” Louis cooed quietly, opening his eyes to find that Harry was already watching him. “I really do love you, so much.”

Harry’s eyes softened. He felt himself melt almost, “I love you too.” He whispered back, shifting slightly in the bed, “How come every time I’m happy.. something bad always has to happen?”

Louis just shrugged, unable to give him a real answer. “You deserve to be happy, just try your best to behappy.” 

"No shit," Harry chuckled, poking his stomach playfully.

"I’m just trying to help," Louis laughed, "When you go to school tomorrow, ask Eleanor to come by after. Please?"

Harry frowned, “Fine.” 

* * *

 

When Harry walked into school the next morning, he regretted even promising Louis that he would do this. All he could think of was  _I wonder_   _what Louis is doing right now,_ or  _I bet Louis would find this funny if he was here._ But things got worse when he could hear some people talking about them.

”..I heard that Harry fucked Ms. Calder’s boyfriend, the one who came by the other day—”

"I heard that too! Do you think she knows?"

It was honestly pure torture for Harry. He didn’t even know how on earth anyone even knew about them. But somehow, the word got around the school quicker than average. He ended up having to block out the conversations around him, he seemed to be the talk of the school today. He took out his phone to text Louis about how wonderful and amazing his day was so far.

_guess what? ~ harry_

_**what? and get off your phone so you can actually learn some things sweetcheeks xx ~ lou** _

_wow shut up, and guess who the main topic is at school these days? you and me._

_**oh gosh.. :/** _

_all i’ve heard all morning is “i heard that harry and ms. calder’s boyfriend fucked” and stuff. i blame you for making me go to school_

_**you gotta get smarter babe ;)** _

_i hate you_

_**love you more. can’t wait to see you, miss you already! Xx** _

* * *

 

Harry put his phone back in his bag, he bit his lip to hold back his smile. Talking to Louis for just five minutes made him feel so much better. He closed his eyes, blocking out what everyone was saying, and just thought of Louis. Before he knew it, the bell was ringing for his next class. It was Eleanor’s. 

He sighed nervously before walking into the room. His eyes met Eleanor’s for an awkward second and he could feel the other student’s eyes on them as well. So Harry looked away and sat in the farthest seat in the back - next to Niall. Niall looked at him mumbling quietly, “Where have you been for the past two days?” He paused, “Oh. Wait, never mind.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “Shut up.”

Niall laughed loudly then frowned when Harry’s lips didn’t even twitch, “Why do you seem so upset?”

Harry sighed deeply, “We.. We found out who shot Aiden. I’m just scared. I don’t want to be away from Louis and not knowing what could happen to him when I’m gone. I don’t want to be here, knowing that something could be happening to him right now. I don’t want to be here, listening to everyone talking about how ‘I’m dating Eleanor’s boyfriend!’ I’m just tired of it.” He frowned, biting his lip.

"Wait wait wait. Back up.  _You found out who killed Aiden?_ "He hissed.

"Yes." Harry answered simply.

"And are you going to fucking tell me or what?!"

Harry watched Niall, “It’s Eleanor’s brother. Her  _fucking brother_  shot Aiden.”

Niall almost choked on his gum in his mouth, “W-What?!” He coughed, his eyes going wide.

"I know." Harry said quietly, looking at Eleanor from across the room. "She doesn’t know it yet. Louis wanted me to invite her over after school.. So I guess he’s going to tell her or something." 

"I’m sure everything will be fine in the end. You’ve gone through enough shit in your life and you’re not even 20 yet. You deserve to be happy now, so let’s hope that that time is coming soon."

"I  _am_ happy though, Niall. Even though I have shit that goes on with my life, I’m still happy. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I’m going to stop letting these things get in the way of my happiness. Yes, I’m fucking scared shitless, but I know -  _hope_ that everything will be fine in the end.” Harry gave him a small smile.

Niall nodded, “That’s the spirit!” He laughed a little. “And if Louis was here and heard that, he would be so proud of you!”

"Shut up." Harry laughed, a small blush taking over his face.

* * *

 

Louis sighed, watching the ceiling above him. He’d literally spent the whole day lying in bed. He missed Harry. He kept checking his phone to see if Harry texted him, but he hadn’t since the few texts he had gotten earlier - which made him smile like an idiot. It was ridiculous what kind of hold Harry had over him. Plus he didn’t want to leave his bed at the thought that a murderer knew exactly where he lived and could probably get in his house if he wanted to bad enough. 

He pushed those thoughts aside and thought of Harry. The moment that they met, their first kiss, just every memory that he could think of. It was just a few hours ago that he saw the boy and he missed him already. It had gotten so bad that he literally craved for the boy. He wanted a hug from him and a kiss and just everything.  _Just a few more hours._ He repeated to himself over and over. It made him feel obsessive, but it was just a feeling of need.

* * *

 

As the final bell sounded, Harry said goodbye to Niall and walked nervously up to Eleanor. Eleanor looked up and met Harry’s eyes. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to speak. 

"H-Hey.." Harry said, his voice shaking a bit.

"Um. Hi." She answered.

"Louis told me to tell you to come by today.. He—  _We_ had to talk to you.. It’s kind of really  _important._ ”

Eleanor watched Harry’s pleading eyes and nodded, “Okay..” She muttered, “Any certain time?” She asked.

"No, just whenever I guess." He sighed, feeling his phone buzzing in his pocket. He looked at the screen and answered it, "Hello?" He tried to hide the smile.

Eleanor caught the sight of who was calling, she tried to hide her stomach jumping a bit. She hated this.

_"Where are you? By the time you get out here I’ll be 40."_

"Shut up, twat. I’m coming." Harry laughed, hanging up the phone. He faced Eleanor again, "I’ll see you later?"

Eleanor gave him a small nod, watching him give her a smile and walk out of the room. Harry was just different then who she thought he was. Maybe he was good for Louis. Harry already seemed happier, maybe Louis was happier as well. She glanced out of the window, spotting Harry in front of Louis’ familiar car. He jumped a bit when Louis honked the horn as Harry crossed the front of it. He flipped him off, laughing, and getting into the car. Eleanor caught herself smiling a little, mostly because she missed Louis. She missed  _their_ fun moments and how  _they_ used to be. 

* * *

 

"You think  _what?_ " Eleanor asked, her eyes wide. She stared in confusion at Harry and Louis in front of her. "You think John killed him?"

"Well, we don’t  _think.._ we  _know_ that he did, Eleanor.” Louis answered, rubbing the side of his arm nervously.

Eleanor glared at him, “You’ve known him forever Lou! Why would you think that?!”

"Harry saw him." He turned and looked at Harry who nodded a bit. "We just need your help.. See if you can get anything out of him.. So that we’re 100% sure.."

Eleanor watched the couple in front of her, they both had pleading looks in their eyes. She nodded a bit, “Okay. I’ll invite him over here now.. So that he can help me get the rest of my things. But I’ll try to get some things out of him.”

"You’re bringing him  _here_?” Louis gasped softly, he knew that Harry wouldn’t want that.

"Yes. I know you don’t want that, but I want you to hear everything for yourself. Don’t worry, he’s my brother. He wouldn’t do anything stupid in front of me."

Louis looked at Harry, almost as if he was asking for permission. Harry gave him a small nod knowing this wasn’t going to be a good idea in the end.


	22. Chapter 22

Harry knew that John was coming over - he didn’t know when or what day. He knew that he was going to have to see him again. Eleanor had asked him if he could and he said that he was busy for a few days but he could soon. So, that meant Harry nervously awaiting for Louis to get a phone call from Eleanor and him having to tell him that he was going to see John again. The man who killed Aiden. He was honestly scared to death. He didn’t want to ever see him again,  _ever._ And Louis knew that too, he always comforted him in every possible chance that he could. 

He and Louis had been sitting at the coffee shop for the past hour, neither of them really speaking. Harry just stared off into the distance, jumping a bit when Louis touched his hand. He glanced over and met Louis’ worried eyes.

"You alright, Haz?"

Harry shrugged, laying his head against the cold table. He closed his eyes, feeling Louis run his fingers through his curly hair. He loved when Louis did that. 

"This will all be over soon, don’t worry." Louis murmured quietly, taking a sip of his drink as he continued to massage Harry’s soft curls.

"And what if it isn’t?" Harry mumbled against the table.

"Well, then we can’t help that. We’ll be going to my mum’s house in about two weeks for Christmas, so.. if  _this_ is all still going on by then.. can we just act normal when we go to her house? I don’t want her to worry..” Louis said softly, watching the back of Harry’s head.

Harry sat up, looking Louis’ straight in the eye. A smile played on his lips, “Yes.” He breathed after a moment of silence. “What if she doesn’t like me though?”

Louis let out a laugh, “She already loves you just from talking on the phone with her for like two minutes. Don’t worry, she’ll love you even more when she meets you babe.”

"What about your sisters?" Harry asked.

"They’ll love you as well. At first they might be a bit shy, but they’ll warm up to you and probably expect you to let them perform makeovers on you. They’ll probably love your curly hair too, just warning you that they’ll want to play barber shop with you." He laughed softly.

Harry sat there and just watched Louis. His eyes went over every detail on Louis’ face, every freckle that was splattered across his nose and cheeks. He watched as Louis’ smile began to fade and he began to mimic Harry - watching him back as well. It was times like these when he wondered  _how could he be real?_ He was so sweet and so  _gorgeous._ He wanted to pull his hair out - Louis was literally perfect in every way he could imagine. And Louis was thinking the same thing. After everything that Harry went through, how could he be sitting here with a stupid grin on his face and still look strong and happy. He went through things that Louis couldn’t even imagine himself going through. Harry’s lips lifted into a smile, licking his lips and coating them with spit. His dimples showed, causing Louis’ stomach to tighten. He began to chew on his bottom lip, watching as Harry broke the gaze shyly. His cheeks turned a soft pink color, “What?” He asked quietly.

"Nothing," Louis answered, "Just sitting over here drooling over how gorgeous my boyfriend is." He grinned, causing Harry’s cheeks to turn pinker.

"You called me your boyfriend," The smile on Harry’s face was wider than he’d ever seen before.

"Well, yeah.. I just thought you were—" Louis was beginning to turn a light shade of pink as well.

"I am. It’s just different to hear it coming from you. I don’t know," He laughed lightly blushing even harder. He leaned forward a bit, giving him another teethy grin. Louis reached out and cupped his cheek before planting a light kiss on his lips. 

* * *

 

"Does Eleanor know anything yet?" Harry asked softly as they walked back into Louis’ home. He glanced back at Louis who shook his head.

"No, she hasn’t called yet." Louis answered, ruffling his hair once before disappearing into the kitchen.

Harry followed closely behind Louis, “What if she’s telling him what we told her? That I saw him kill Aiden?” Harry asked with a worried frown on his lips. His eyebrows were furrowed until Louis smoothed them out.

"Don’t worry, I’m almost positive that she wouldn’t do that to you. I’ve known her for a long time and she isn’t like that ..I hope." Louis answered, kissing his cheek carefully. 

Harry’s frown stayed planted on his lips, “I should probably call Aiden’s parents and tell them that I found him.. It would feel so wrong if I didn’t.” He could feel his lip wobble so he bit down on it hard. Harry knew that Louis hated when he would bite down on his lip so hard that it would bleed, so he stopped putting pressure on it when it almost got to that point. He gave Louis once last glance before walking out of the room with his phone in his shaky hands.

Louis finished making his and Harry’s tea and walked upstairs into his room. He set down one tea on the nightstand on his side of his bed and the other tea on the other nightstand. He crawled into the bed and brought the blanket up to his chin, taking a sip out of his tea. It was still the middle of the afternoon, but he was awfully tired. Especially since he found out about John. Harry had stayed at his house for the past few days and Louis usually stayed up at excessive hours just to calm Harry. He had to wake up early too just to say his goodbye to Harry before he went to school. Harry usually objected the night before, telling him that it was okay if he didn’t wake up in the morning before he went to school or that he needed to sleep. But Louis still woke up and it meant a lot to Harry that he just did that to say goodbye. 

It was only 3 days ago when they found out about John being the person to do that to Aiden. And Eleanor’s things were still here, waiting for John to come and help her get them. That was apart of their plan. Over the last few days Harry had actually started to  _talk_ to Eleanor. Yes, it was sometimes a bit awkward for the both of them but everything in the end seemed fine between them. Their plan was simple, when he came they would just mention it casually and see how he reacted. Eleanor didn’t know the whole story though. She knew that he killed someone named Aiden because that’s all they told her. They didn’t tell her that he was someone that Harry dated. For three years, someone who was a  _big_ part of his life, maybe the most important thing in his life for those years. She didn’t understand fully just how much of a strain this was to Harry. Harry told Louis that he would only tell her if she asked, he didn’t think that those details were particularly necessary but if she wanted to know then he would tell her. She took it better than Louis honestly thought that she would. He thought that she would be denying everything because her and John had always been close. But she stopped denying it because something in her mind was asking herself  _what if it is true?_ So she was going to help them in the best way that she could.

His head snapped up when he heard Harry walk into the room, shoving the phone back into his pocket. His hair was dropping over his face, a frown was visible. His lips were wobbling like crazy and Louis knew that Harry was crying. Louis got out of the bed, walking to Harry. He opened his arms and Harry walking into them quickly, clinging onto his body. His body was shaking as he sobbed into Louis’ chest. Harry felt like he had just told his parents that Aiden was dead all over again, like he did the first time. He had to hear Aiden’s parents cries into the phone and it made his heart hurt even more. 

"Shh.." He heard Louis mumble quietly into his hair. Harry held his breath, trying to calm down the violent sobs but it made it worse. His breathing got harder and Louis brought him back to the bed. He watched as Harry crawled into it - Harry’s eyes watching him as he joined him.

As soon as the blanket was over the both of them, Harry curled up against Louis. Louis’ hand moved softly up and down Harry’s skin. He continued doing so, feeling Harry’s shakiness get calmer.

"I want to die." Harry whispered.

Louis sat up quickly, looking down at the boy. Their eyes locked on each other and Harry’s eyes were full of pure pain. “Don’t say that.” Louis murmured, “Please.”

"I want to feel needed." Harry said simply, his voice was still soft and fragile and it worried Louis.

He leaned down and connected their lips. The kiss started off sweet but it got more intense as seconds went by. Harry’s tongue slipped into Louis’ mouth, brushing against Louis’ tongue roughly. He could feel Harry grab hold of Louis’ hips, bringing his lower region closer to Louis’ - brushing their crotches together. Louis could feel the hardness in Harry’s sweatpants and he knew that Harry could feel his. He almost yelped when he felt Harry’s hand slip under the waist band of his pants and under his boxers. He almost pulled away from the kiss to glance down at him but Harry caught hold of his lip with his teeth, biting softly. A groan escaped Louis’ lips as Harry began to touch him, “Let me make you feel good. Please, Boo.” He heard Harry whisper as soon as their lips separated for a few seconds.

God it was hot.  _So fucking hot._ And just the thought that it was  _Harry_ who was jerking him off made it 100 times hotter. He had never seen Harry take so much control in anything. The first and only time that they had done this, Louis was in control. Mostly because that was when Harry was in his very cautious stage. And now… This was Harry’s way of releasing his pain that he was feeling. He wanted to feel needed, so he wanted to make Louis feel good. He watched Louis squirm above him as he continued to pump his long fingers along his length. Louis didn’t last long though, he knew that he wasn’t going to. Just because of the way that Harry was staring at him. His eyes were filled with intensity and it was all too much. The room was quiet besides the sounds of Louis panting and groans until he finished.

Louis wanted to return the favor to Harry, but he felt like he couldn’t move. His muscles felt like they didn’t want to work right now. He looked at Harry who was already watching him. “You have tea.” Louis panted out, glancing at the nightstand next to Harry.

Harry rolled over and grabbed it, moving it to his lips and taking a sip out of the cup. He then set it back on the nightstand and continued to watch Louis as he took a sip out of his tea. Louis met Harry’s eyes, which were still a bit pink, but he had stopped crying. He saw Harry chewing on his lip, deep into thought, as he just kept his eyes on Louis.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis murmured, rolling out of the bed slowly. He walked to his dresser and grabbed a new pair of boxers and sweatpants. His muscles felt like jelly. Harry’s eyes never left him as he walked back over to the bed and got in. He turned onto his side to watch Harry - who was still silent. "Baby, tell me." Louis breathed.

Harry could feel his stomach tighten, because that was the first use of  _baby_ on him. And he suddenly wanted to cry again because all of this was way too much for him. He couldn’t have someone like Louis, someone so  _perfect_ and  _innocent_ in his web of shit he had to deal with. What if something happened to Louis? He knew that he would be done. He wouldn’t be able to handle  _that._ He would officially be alone and he would be right after Louis. 

"J -Just.." He stammered, "Just that.. I remember when I was the one who had to call his parents to tell them that he was shot.." He shifted at the memories, "And that felt exactly the same.." He took a sharp breath, trying not to cry again. "I had to listen to them cry over their son again."

Louis took Harry’s hand, sliding his thumb across it, “Don’t cry,” He leaned down and kissed his knuckles softly. 

"How am I supposed to face  _him_  when I can’t even talk to Aiden’s parents without crying like a fucking baby?” Harry hissed, rubbing his eyes with his free hand that wasn’t tangled with Louis’.

Louis continued stroking his hand, “You’re the strongest person I know.” He murmured, planting another kiss on it.

Harry watched him in silence, “I hate when you do that.” He almost glared as Louis looked up to meet his eyes once again.

"Do what?" 

"You say all the sweetest things and you be all perfect to me and I can’t do anything back to you. Because I’m worthless shit." He frowned.

Louis sat up and stared down at him, “Don’t you fucking say that. I thought we were passed that? Are we just going to go back to how it was when we first met? You  _know_ that you are more than that. You are more than that to me. God I love you. Please stop.” Louis said.

"All I am is a cry baby." He let a small chuckle, "I swear that I don’t cry this much.. You’ve just entered my life at the roughest moments.. And I think that’s why I’m still willing to fight through this.."

Silence rang through the air again, Louis settled back down comfortably on the pillow that was shared between them again. 

"Don’t take this the wrong way," Harry murmured, "But sometimes.. I wonder if maybe ..maybe he died so that I could meet you.." He almost whispered, hoping that Louis wouldn’t think that was a harsh thing to say. Neither of them spoke and Harry curled into Louis’ side before falling asleep.

* * *

 

A few hours later Harry awoke by the sound of Louis’ phone ringing on the nightstand next to him. He reached over carefully, glancing at who was calling. He felt his heart stop, It was Eleanor. He knew why she was calling.

"Hello?" He whispered shakily into the phone.

"We’re on our way over.." She answered back softly, concern was in her voice.

Harry knew it was coming, he nodded. “Okay.” He croaked, hanging up. “Louis, wake up.” He nudged him softly. Louis opened his eyes and looked at Harry. “They’re coming.”


	23. Chapter 23

The next ten minutes mostly consisted of Louis telling Harry that everything was going to be okay. Louis got up quickly to get dressed and to brush his teeth then he spent the rest of the time until the doorbell rang cuddled up against Harry. His fingers played in his hair as he mumbled a few  _I love you_ 's and  _Everything will be fine._ Harry just laid there and let Louis comfort him because he honestly needed it. His heart was pounding, he didn’t think he could do this. He wanted to cry just thinking about being face-to-face with the person who killed Aiden, his best friend, and the first person that he truly ever loved. He hated that Louis had to deal with him crying so much but it was mostly because this was all he’s been holding in for the past 2 years. He never had anyone to talk to about any of this - except for Niall, but he didn’t tell Niall  _everything._ And he didn’t have Niall for the full two years because he had pushed him away. 

The two of them sat in a peaceful silence. Louis was leaning against the headboard of the bed and Harry was in between his legs, his head was on his chest. His eyes were closed as Louis continued to run his fingers through his curls. He flinched when the doorbell interrupted their moment.

Louis moved slowly out of the bed, Harry mimicked him. Harry reached for Louis’ hand shakily as they made their way to the door. Before Louis opened it, he glanced at Harry as if to see if he was okay. Harry gave him a nod, sucking in a deep breath as Louis proceeded to open the door. Louis’ eyes met John’s immediately but he shifted them quickly to Eleanor. Harry avoided looking at John’s taunting eyes. He looked at Eleanor, giving her a small smile, before turning back to Louis. Louis met his eyes and smiled. They all walked back into the living room where a few of Eleanor’s boxes were scattered. They didn’t have a real plan. The only thing that they knew what was going to happen was that they were somehow going to bring it up and see how he reacted. They didn’t even know if it would work but they were going to try. 

Louis, who kept his hand intertwined with Harry’s, walked over to their couch. He sat down and brought Harry with him. They could see Eleanor glancing at them, obviously a bit uncomfortable because of the PDA displayed between her ex boyfriend and his current boyfriend. But she honestly thought that they were sweet together, she just didn’t work well with watching her exes with someone else. 

"So how long have you guys been.." John trailed off, glancing at Louis and Harry as he continued to mess with the box on the floor. 

Harry and Louis looked at each other, small smiles played on their lips. “I’m not really sure..” He glanced at Harry. Harry knew what he meant. That he didn’t know when he should start to judge the time that they were actually together. After they first kissed? After he broke up with Eleanor? “More than a month I guess?” Louis answered, looking back at John. Eleanor’s small smile had faded because she came into realization that they  _had_ been together while her and Louis were dating. 

Eleanor cleared her throat awkwardly, causing John to glance at her. “Oh.. Well congrats I guess.” He mumbled, picking up one of the few boxes and walking outside to put it in his car.

As soon as he was outside, Louis turned back to Harry. “You alright? Yeah?” He smiled a bit.

Eleanor watched the way that Louis fingers were playing on his skin absentmindedly. Harry gave him a small nod as a sweet smile appeared on his face. They both watched each other for a few seconds almost like they forgot that Eleanor was in the room. They both turned and looked at her at the same time, “What’s your plan?” Louis asked.

"Don’t worry, I’ve got it." She answered, smiling a bit, "You guys are cute by the way."

Harry and Louis both gave each other another small glance, “Thank you.” Louis murmured, smiling at her. 

They were interrupted when John walked back into the room, causing all of them to get silent again. John began to pack up the next box when Eleanor spoke again.

"Do you guys remember that case a few years ago with that boy who was shot in the park? I remember Louis and I were watching something about that on TV when that happened. What was his name? Aiden or something?"

She glanced over at John to notice him freeze, he looked up at her, “What about him?”

"Oh do you remember him?" Eleanor asked. She honestly looked like she was just talking normally. 

"Yeah, what about him?" He repeated. Louis noticed his fingers clenching a bit against the box that was now finished getting packed.

"They think that they found out who killed him." Eleanor finished, giving John a smile.

John looked stiff, like he couldn’t move. It was like he was frozen. Louis glanced at Harry, a bit concerned at what he was going to do. Harry held his breath and they all just watched him, jumping a bit when he actually  _did_ move.

"I have to go," He stood up quickly, speed walking out of the room.

"Wait!—" Eleanor yelled, standing up to follow him.

"No, don’t Eleanor. You don’t know what he’s going to do—" Louis said. He was interrupted when Harry jumped off of the couch and raced after him. "No, no no.." He repeated, standing up as well as Eleanor. 

A million of terrible images popped into his mind of what John could do. What if he had a weapon on him now? What if he had a gun? What if he was just waiting for Harry to run out after him? He glanced out of the window first on his way as he was running to the door but stopped.

Harry stood in front the the closed door that was behind him, watching him struggle with his keys to unlock his car. “I know what you did.” He spoke, his voice was a bit raspy.

John jumped, causing him to drop his keys on the ground, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He answered quickly, recognizing Harry’s voice. He bent down and grabbed his keys with his shaky hands.

Harry walked a bit closer to him, “I  _fucking_ watched you do it. You don’t think that I don’t remember who killed him? You killed my best friend. My boyfriend. He was basically all I had left. And you know what you did? You killed him. Your disgusting face fucking haunts me in my dreams. You’re just a sick person.. What the fuck did he ever do to you, huh? He must’ve done something to you to make you shoot him. I watched you just watch him fall to the ground and you just walked off. I’ve had millions of thoughts about what I would say to you if I ever met you or saw you again in the future. But nothing ever seemed like the correct thing to say to someone like  _you_. So I guess all that I want to know is, just please tell me.. tell me what did he do to you for you to shoot him like that?” Harry frowned, feeling his lips wobble.  _Stay strong. Don’t cry. Don’t let him see that you’re weak._  He repeated to himself as he stared at John in front of him. He took a few more steps to get a bit closer to him and the speed of his heart increased. His eyes glanced at John’s fingers, the same ones who ended Aiden’s life. The ones who pulled the trigger. He didn’t know how much longer he could stand there in front of John. He wanted Louis here with him to comfort him and to tell him to not do anything stupid or anything that he was going to regret.

"I was bored." John chuckled, giving him a smirk.

And that did it. Harry pounced on John, causing him to fall to the ground. He brought his fist up and collided it with John’s face a few times before he felt Louis pulling him off of John. Harry was breathing so hard as he looked up to meet Louis’ eyes. Louis saw rage and something scary that he had never seen in Harry’s eyes. Eleanor was holding John back as he tried to move to Harry. John pulled out of Eleanor’s grip, pouncing at Harry but Louis caught him. 

"Bring Harry inside." Louis commanded Eleanor. Eleanor nodded and grabbed Harry’s hand, pulling him inside of the house.

Louis glared at John as he struggled to break loose of Louis’ grip on him. “Let me go.” He growled.

Louis dragged him inside, throwing him onto the couch. John didn’t move he just sat there next to Louis and they at in silence. A few minutes later Eleanor and Harry walked out of the bathroom. Harry had a small cut just below his eyes that had been cleaned by Eleanor in the short time they had alone. He had a cold glare that was locked on his face as he sat in the farthest chair away from Louis and John. He felt a bit weird and off because usually when they had company Harry would sit next to Louis. Mostly because he felt like he could hide better if Louis was next to him. But he was still raging and honestly didn’t care that much right now. 

"You were on their side?" John asked in disbelief as he stared at his sister who had just walked into the room. "I can’t believe you."

"And I can’t believe that you would kill an innocent person." She glared back, sitting next to Harry. She gave his arm a comforting squeeze before turning her attention back to her brother.

Harry honestly felt like the way he and Eleanor were getting along was weird. Mostly because just a few weeks ago he had went to dinner with her and Louis and she had basically threatened him and told him to back off. And now, she was here defending him. It wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate it - he  _did,_ it was just weird. And he knew that Louis thought so too when he looked up and saw the same puzzled expression in Louis’ eyes. 

"Harry, I need to talk to you." Louis stood up, glancing at Eleanor. "Watch him?" He asked. He didn’t think that John would go anywhere. Eleanor nodded and stood up, moving to Louis’ old spot to sit next to John.

Harry followed Louis out of the room and into their bathroom, Louis locked the door. Harry immediately began to cry as Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and looked up at him. “Don’t cry.” Louis murmured.

Harry chuckled a bit, pushing the tears away with his hand. “Sorry, I tried as best as I could to control myself out there—”

He was cut off with a kiss from Louis. Louis laughed, “Sorry? Don’t be sorry. That bastard deserved it. Every punch you gave him. I’m proud of you.” He raised his finger and outlined the cut on Harry’s face. Harry winced a bit and watched Louis lower his hand.

"Eleanor seems to like me now." Harry chuckled a bit, feeling a bit shaky. Louis sensed this and brought them both down so they were sitting now and leaning against the wall.

"Yeah.. It’s just a bit weird." Louis smiled, leaning over to press his face into the crook of the taller boy’s neck. They felt like they just got away from whatever was going on outside of the door but Louis interrupted their small get-away moment, "Okay.. So you can choose what you want to do with him.." He pulled away to look at Harry’s confused face. "You can either.. call the cops, report him, get him locked up - the smart thing to do,  _or_ you can just let him go. I don’t know why you would want to do that. But Eleanor suggested to give you that option.. soo…”

Harry watched Louis’ face, “Do you think he’d ever be able to see his family ever again or be normal if we called the police?” He asked quietly. He knew what it was like to not see his family. Or to not be normal.

"Probably not, only if they visited him in prison." Louis watched Harry.

Harry frowned, “I don’t want to choose anything. I don’t want to be the reason why he can’t see his family or anything. I can’t choose.”

"You aren’t though. That was his fault when he pulled the trigger, not yours.  _That_ would be the reason why he would be going. Not you.” He leaned up and kissed Harry’s temple, “Do you want me to choose for you, love?” Louis murmured, in a comforting tone. Harry gave him a small nod. “Okay. I say we call the police and lock up the bastard.” He stood up slowly, holding a hand out for Harry to take.

Harry took it and stood up as well, following Louis out of the bathroom. They made their way back into the living room to find Eleanor in there alone. She looked up at them, “I’m so sorry.” She almost whispered.

"Eleanor what the fuck did you do?" Louis asked, looking around to see John was nowhere to be seen. 

Harry’s breathing increased as he looked around the room as well. His hand began to feel a bit clammy and Louis squeezed it. 

On the verge of tears, she spoke quietly, “I let him go. I’m sorry. I can’t let you do this to my brother.” 


	24. Chapter 24

They lived the next few days mostly in fear. It wasn’t that they meant to, it just sorta happened. They didn’t know if or where he could turn up at any second. They felt like they were being watched. The first day Louis and Harry stayed in Louis’ bed the whole day. Occasionally getting out just to go to the bathroom or get something to drink. They ended up just being wrapped up with each other, neither of them saying that they were scared. They didn’t have to say anything, it was already a little obvious. They didn’t speak that much, just a few words every now and then to make sure the other was fine. They weren’t really particularly angry at Eleanor. They couldn’t really be - she helped them and knew the truth. But the fact that they knew that he could come back and hurt one of them at any time would be the only reason why they could be a little upset with her. They didn’t hear from her for a couple of days. That kind of worried them but neither of them said anything or mentioned it.

On the second day, they moved from the bed to the couch. Neither of them had left the house since the incident. They both knew why but they didn’t say anything about it. They were lazily laying on the couch. Louis was slouching into the cushion and Harry was leaning more against the arm rest, trying not to fall asleep. Harry pushed his leg aside and pressed it against Louis’. It caused Louis to turn and look at Harry. Harry gave him a grin before turning his attention back to the TV.

"You’re weird." Louis laughed, sitting up and leaning over to ruffle his boyfriend’s curls lightly. Harry smiled at him, biting his lip.

"Sorry for just wanting you to look at me." Harry grinned, blushing lightly. He turned from Louis’ gaze quickly out of embarrassment.

Louis reached over and laid his finger on his cheek, turning Harry’s face to cause him to meet his eyes once again.

"I wanted to ask you something." Louis breathed, watching the younger boy shift on the couch next to him.

"Yes?" Harry hummed, blinking slowly at the touch of his fingertips. He stared back at Louis. Their eyes melted together as they breathed lightly. 

"I.." He frowned, taking in a nervous breath.

"Spit it out, you fool." Harry chuckle, leaning over to kiss Louis’ palm - Louis’ hands were still on his face.

"Well.." He sighed, "I wanted to ask if maybe.. Maybe you would want to live here? You could move in or something? Be with me..?" He asked shakily, removing his hands. He began staring at something on the wall behind Harry.

Harry almost gasped. He could feel himself wanting to just cry because Louis made him feel so special. He felt wanted. He felt like he could actually do anything if he had Louis with him, cheesy as it sounds - it was true. Harry cupped Louis’s cheeks, causing him to look at Harry again. 

"I didn’t mean for you to cry," Louis chuckled, wiping away the moisture that escaped from Harry’s eyes. Harry didn’t even notice that he had tears falling, he let out a shaky laugh and leaned forward to kiss Louis.

After a few minutes, Louis pulled away and looked at Harry. “So, what do you say?” He smiled slightly, raising his eyebrows as he waited for Harry’s reply.

Harry nodded, “Of course I will,” He smiled widely, leaning over to press his side against Louis. Louis wrapped his arm around Harry’s shoulder and brought him closer to his side. ”You don’t even know how happy I am.” Harry whispered, turning to meet Louis’ eyes once more. Louis saw the happiness in Harry’s eyes. He saw straight through him and that was enough for him. He just wanted Harry to be happy.

The third day Harry went back to school. Louis was nervous, not just for Harry - but for himself. Mostly because he knew that Harry would at least have everyone around him at school, but he was alone. At school, Eleanor wasn’t even there. They had a substitute teacher in her place - which of course caused more wonder and confusion about everything that was happening. So Louis made Liam and Zayn come over and spend some time with him while Harry was away. They both noticed that Louis was a bit timid, so Louis told them everything. They were a bit freaked out, mostly because  _they_ were also friends with John. They never guessed that he would do that, just like Louis. So they stayed with him the whole time and even rode with him to go pick Harry up from school.

"Hi Lou!" Harry grinned as he opened the door to the car. Zayn and Liam both sat in the back and let Harry have the passenger seat. "Oh hi guys!" He smiled, sitting in the seat that was left for him. Liam and Zayn both smiled and greeted him.

Louis watched Harry fiddle in his seat. Harry glanced up and saw Louis watching him, “I got kind of lonely earlier—” 

"Oh please, he was scared as fuck without you Harry. So he wanted us to come and protect him." Zayn interrupted, rolling his eyes. 

A shade of pink washed over Louis’ face, “Shut up,” He grumbled, starting to drive again.

Harry frowned, watching Louis out of the corner of his eye, “She wasn’t at school today - Eleanor.”

"Ugh, don’t mention that bitch." Zayn rolled his eyes, looking out the window. 

Liam winced slightly, “Zayn don’t be rude.” He said, trying to hold back a laugh but a small chuckle escaped. Zayn turned to look at Liam, hearing his failure at a quiet chuckle, causing him to grin and reach out to grab his boyfriend’s hand. 

"I swear you bring out the worst in me," Liam laughed loudly, tightening the grip on their fingers.

"Embrace it babe. This is a side of you that I rarely get to see." Zayn teased, leaning over to kiss Liam’s temple.

"Is it bad that I’m scared?" Louis whispered, keeping his eyes locked on the road.

Harry immediately turned and looked at Louis’ side of his face. He reached out and grabbed his hand tightly, “I’m scared too. So it’s alright.” He smiled weakly.

* * *

 

When the car pulled up to Louis  _and_ Harry’s home, they noticed that Eleanor was already there. She was sitting on their porch with her face in her hands. She finally looked up when she heard Louis’ car pull up.

Louis suddenly wanted to cry - he  _knew_ something wasn’t right.

Harry sensed this and squeezed Louis’ hand gently before getting out of the car slowly. As soon as they all got out, Eleanor stood up and wiped her eyes quickly. She had been crying. Zayn stood almost hidden behind Liam - her words stuck in his head. He knew that he shouldn’t have been so bothered by the words that came out of rage but something inside wondered if it was true sometimes and he hated it.

"What happened?" Harry spoke first, watching Eleanor bite on her lip.

Her lips wobbled before she spoke, “They found him dead this morning. He killed himself.” She croaked out, chewing on her lip. Tears began to fall down her cheeks again as she wobbled to the ground. “I- he left a note. I didn’t read it. I didn’t want to.” Her hands found their way to her pocket and she pulled the crumbled paper out of it. Her hands were shaking as she handed it to them.

Louis grabbed it first, taking in a deep breath before reading it. It was addressed to three people. Eleanor, Louis, and Harry.

_Eleanor,_

_I love you. Please don’t think that me doing this was your fault, at all. It wasn’t. I know I made a mistake, and I have to get away from it. Please know that I love you and I’ll miss you and you deserve a longer letter but I can’t do this to you. I know it’ll make you so much more upset if I expressed how much you meant to me._

_I will always love you. - John_

It was short and simple, but it made Louis’ heart ache. Dozens of memories that he had shared with Eleanor and her brother from years before took over his mind and he felt guilty. Like  _he_ was the reason they were taken away.

His eyes scanned the paper and found his name scribbled. He took a deep breath and read it.

_Louis,_

_I don’t even know what to say. We were best friends when you and Eleanor dated. And you honestly make me sick now. I didn’t say anything when you were around because I accepted that you were happy with Harry, but now I can’t do it anymore.. You’re a fucking asshole. Just a few years ago, I remember when you would come over and have to sneak into my house and I would have to cover for Eleanor because you were like my bro. I had your back. But you sit there and cheat on my sister with a fucking guy? You humiliated her. So no, you’re not my bro anymore. I don’t even like thinking about you. I think that you are disgusting and thinking of you and what you did to my sister makes this so much easier._

_goodbye. Hopefully you won’t be long after me._

It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. He was holding the paper so hard that it was starting to wrinkle where his fingers were. Harry ran a hand through Louis’ hair, murmuring to him softly, “It’s okay..” 

"There’s a note for you too." He whispered, unsure if Harry should read it. It was going to make him feel like shit in the end. Louis held the paper out for Harry to take, he knew that Harry would want to read his on his own. He grabbed it and brought it to his eyes, taking a deep breath before reading.

_Harry,_

_Okay, I don’t know you. But I know you well enough to say that you’re one of the reasons why I’m doing this.. So thank you for helping me do it. In fact, you’re the **main**_   _reason why I want to. You saw me kill your little faggot boyfriend - you’re welcome by the way. He deserved it. Especially if it hurt you in the end. You and Louis both make me sick. Especially you. Because of you, Louis hurt my sister. I know you probably think ‘why is he so angry about what happens to his sister?’ well because we’ve grown up together. She was all that I had growing up. My parents never did anything for us so we just had each other. So good job taking away one of the only people she had left. Actually both of the only people she had left. Louis and I. Louis was the first person I ever saw her truly trust and you took him away from her. And now I’m gone._

_Go to hell with Aiden. :)_

And it was a bad idea to read it. Harry completely fell into a choking sob, almost collapsing to the ground along with Eleanor. He ripped the paper’s edges as he threw it to the ground before stomping on it angrily. He wanted to set it on fire or rip it to shreds. He just wanted it to go away. Louis bent down and grabbed it. His eyes scanned it a few times before he looked up, his mouth was open in shock at the harsh words that were scribbled to Harry.

* * *

 

It had been about 2 hours since they read the letter. Harry and Louis were the only ones that were left at the house since everyone else decided to leave. They all said bye and hoped that Harry was alright. Louis watched Harry from across the room. Harry had the blankets pulled over him as he laid in the bed - unaware that Louis was watching him. He had himself bundled in blankets, like he was trying to hide himself from the world. And Louis hated it.

It seemed as if Harry was as insecure as he was when this first began.

Because every word ripped every single one of Harry’s old scars open and he just wanted them to all go away. He just wanted to be happy and it seemed impossible these days for him.

Louis crawled up the bed and pressed his nose into the nape of Harry’s neck, “Hi,” He whispered, almost like he was trying to cheer him up.

Harry looked down as Louis looked up at him. He bit his lip slightly, watching the boy. “I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly, closing his eyes. 

Louis frowned sadly, “Please stop pushing me away baby. Stop. None of that was true, he’s just mad.”

"He’s also dead." Harry murmured, his eyes still closed.

"Yeah.. But after that letter to  _you,_ he’s better off dead.” Louis spit, “If he was still here, I would have fucking killed him myself.” 

"But.. I know what it’s like to have no one.. and now Eleanor.." He sniffled, "Because of me. Like he said, I took that all away." He opened his eyes slowly to meet Louis’ comforting blue eyes.

"No, you didn’t. Harry, love, she’s fine. I promise you that she will be okay. She has us, her friends, everyone else who adores her. Please, I beg of you, don’t think this is all your fault. It’s not. No one gives you enough credit. I  _swear_ that you are more than you see that you are. You are so perfect and so strong, you make me a better person. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I would choose you over Eleanor a thousand more times because I want  _you._  I don’t want her, I just want you. All of you - everything that you’re willing to give me. You already have all of me.” Louis said softly, his words floated in the air when he finished.

Harry nibbled on his bottom lip, watching Louis. “I just, I don’t see how you still love me after everything that I’ve put you through.”

"Because that’s what couples do. We’re there for each other through anything, and I would do it all again. Hell, I would do it 100 more times if it meant that I still had  _you._ " Louis smiled sweetly, brushing away the tears that were building in Harry’s green eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too. I don’t know what I would do without you." Harry whispered back, leaning forward to meet Louis’ soft lips before drifting off to sleep. For the first time in a while, Harry actually felt like everything was going to be okay and that was enough for him.


	25. epilogue

Harry took a deep breath before getting out of the car. He went to the back and grabbed his bag and Louis’ bag as well. Louis was still in the car, fiddling with something in the front seat. Harry’s nerves were going crazy. He watched as Louis finally opened his door and took the bag from his outstretched arm that was holding the bag out for him to take. Louis gave him a grin before turning to the house - the one that he grew up in. It had been about a month since the last time he was here and he missed his family a lot. He knew that Harry was nervous - it made him laugh though, he told him to not be nervous. Obviously  _that_  didn’t work.

It was the 23rd of December, about two weeks after John had killed himself. Honestly ever since he did that, they both felt safer and relieved. Nothing too major happened and for the first time in their relationship it was peaceful. They felt like a normal couple and they were both incredibly happy. The only thing that was a strain sometimes was that Harry had woken up from a bad dream or a nightmare about three times within the two weeks. Usually it would wake up Louis first and he would have to gently shake him to wake him up then they would just lay there cuddled together - Louis stroking Harry’s hair until they both fell back asleep in the comfort of each other’s arms. 

Like Louis had promised Harry, they were visiting his mum. Harry was meeting her for the first time and it meant everything to him. He was feeling all kind of things - nervous, excited, happy, scared. A little bit of everything, but he knew that it would all work out in the end. 

Louis moved his hand to wrap it gently behind Harry’s back, walking forward and slightly giving him a small push along with him. He glanced at Harry, giving him a small smile. Harry returned it and kept walking until they reached the front door. Louis reached out and tapped lightly on it, turning his body to face Harry now.

"Scared?" He grinned, teasing Harry because he obviously was scared as hell. He gave him a wink.

"Shut up," Harry bit his lip, trying to hid his embarrassment out of the situation. He placed his hands on Louis’ hips and gave him a small smile, "I love you."

"I love you too." Louis breathed, getting lost along the waves of green and emerald that washed into Harry’s breathtaking eyes. They both got lost in the short gaze between them and jumped slightly at the door clicking open. 

“ _Louis!_ " A young girl screamed, jumping into Louis’ arms. Harry stood there awkwardly, jumping a bit when another girl about the same height jumped into Louis’ other arm - causing him to drop his bag. Harry bent down and picked it up, slinging it over the shoulder that wasn’t already holding his own bag. 

After a few minutes, Louis looked up and caught Harry’s eye. Harry was standing there watching Louis hug his little sisters politely, not saying anything. A sweet smile played on his lips. He just watched the sight in front of him, it was so.. so  _adorable._  Louis pulled away slightly from the two girls, raising his eyebrows at Harry, “Girls, this is Harry.” He smiled.

Harry looked down at the twins who were now pulling away from Louis. They looked up at him, smiling, “Hi.” One of them said.

"Harry, this one is Phoebe." Louis said, laying his hands on one of their shoulders. "And this one is Daisy." He smiled, moving his hands to the other girl’s shoulder.

"Hello." They both said at the same time in muse. They were both obviously a bit shy, hiding a little behind their older brother’s legs.

Harry smiled down at them, “Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you two.” 

Daisy took a brave step forward, “Look, I lost my tooth!” She grinned, showing the missing tooth.

Louis stepped in, “When did  _that_ happen?” Louis bent down to her level and examined her mouth. She let out a soft giggle. Harry wanted to just  _melt_ at them. Louis was so good with his sisters, he bit back a wide grin as he watched them.

All of the sudden there was another scream of Louis’ name, causing Louis and Harry to both look up. Louis grinned when he saw his mum standing there, they automatically pulled each other into a long hug. When they finally pulled away, Louis kept an arm around his mum’s back. He turned a little towards Harry, “Mum..  _This_ is Harry.” He smiled proudly at his mum then to his boyfriend. 

"It’s nice to finally meet you." Jay said, taking a step forward and pulling Harry into a short and sweet hug. It was warm and it made Harry feel so welcomed. "Louis has told me so much about you." She smiled sweetly as she pulled away from the hug.

Louis reached over and grabbed his bag out of Harry’s hand, they swapped a small smile between the two of them, “I’m happy I finally get to meet you too. ” Harry replied, following them as they walked inside.

"Where’s Lottie, Dad, and Fizzy?" Louis asked, turning around almost as if he was making sure Harry was alright. Harry gave him a reassuring smile like he understood the look on Louis’ face.

"He took Felicite somewhere, I’m not sure where though. I think she wanted new clothes and he was willing to drive her while I stayed here and waited for you guys. And Lottie is in her room." She smiled, walking into their living room.

"Does she know that I’m here?" Louis asked, reaching out to take Harry’s bag.

"I know she knows that you’re coming, I don’t think she knows you’re here yet." 

Harry silently sat down on the couch, Jay and the twins joined him while Louis disappeared upstairs. Harry looked around at the family, giving them an awkward silence. He didn’t really know what to say. Why did Louis  _have_ to leave him alone with his family so early? Daisy moved from her chair and jumped onto the couch next to Harry, watching him. She gave him a toothy grin in which Harry returned.

* * *

 

Louis sat both of their bags in the room that he used to live in. He smiled at the familiar-ness of it. It hadn’t changed a bit since he had been there just a month ago. Maybe he should have taken Harry up here with him, to tour the house. But he shrugged it off, Harry could spend some quality time with his family to maybe get over the awkwardness that was obviously going to be there. He knew that his mum wouldn’t care, she would love him. Mostly because he had told her all about Harry just a few months before. But he was scared about what his dad was going to say. It wasn’t like he was going to throw him out of the family, just that his dad was never familiar with the idea that Louis could be gay. That he had a boyfriend. He had begged his mum to tell him so that by the time he was there that his dad would be over it but his mum pressed that it was best if Louis told him when they got here.

He walked back downstairs, stopping in the kitchen to get something to drink. When he walked in, Lottie walked in shorty after, “Lou!” She smiled, running to him and wrapping her arms around him. Louis smiled, returning the embrace. When they pulled apart, Lottie smiled up at her older brother. “Who’s the hottie in the living room with Mum and the girls?”

Louis began to laugh, walking back into the livingroom. Lottie followed, “Harry, Lottie thinks you’re hot!” He teased, turning around to glance at his sister.

Lottie gasped, “Lou! Shut up!” She squealed, slapping his arm playfully. Her face was burning red of embarrassment as Louis ran into the living room laughing. 

Louis jumped onto the couch that Harry was on, positioning himself where his head was on Harry’s lap. He looked up at Harry and smiled wide. “Hi!” He grinned.

Jay stood up, seeing Lottie peaking in from the kitchen. Obviously embarassed still. She walked into the kitchen and smiled, “That’s Harry.”

"Okay. Why is he here? Does Louis actually have other friends besides Liam and Zayn?"

"Well Harry and Louis are dating, Lottie. And Harry is a sweetheart." She smiled.

She gasped, “What happened to Eleanor?”

"They broke up, obviously." 

They both turned their attention back to the couple on the couch who were still looking at each other. Smiles were playing on their lips - neither of them spoke. 

"Are you guys in looveeee?" Daisy giggled.

Louis and Harry both turned to the girl at the sound of her voice. Then they both turned back to each other, both letting out a small chuckle.

"Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?" Phoebe added.

"Well," Louis sat up, straightening his position on the couch. "In order for that, one of us has to be a girl to be the girlfriend. So I’m Harry’s boyfriend and Harry is my boyfriend. Do you understand?" Louis said, trying to explain it in the simplest way possible.

"Like Uncle Zayn and Uncle Liam!" Daisy smiled.

"Exactly."

Lottie walked in shyly, sitting in a chair slightly far away from them. “Oh look, it’s the sister that has the hots for my boyfriend.” Louis laughed.

Lottie and Harry’s cheeks both turned pink. Lottie gave Louis a  _I’m going to kill you look_. “Hello, Harry. I’m Lottie.” She smiled at the boy.

"Hi Lottie." Harry smiled, his voice deep and a bit raspy. "How are you?" He said shyly.

"I’m great! How are you?" She returned.

"I’m really good." He smiled.

Louis looked at Harry, laughing a little. He noticed how shy Harry was being, so  _closed_ and it was adorable honestly. He reached over and took Harry’s hand in his own, squeezing it a bit. Almost like he was trying to tell him  _it’s okay baby. They love you._ Harry looked from their hands to Louis’ eyes. He grinned wide and turned his attention back to Louis’ family - who was now watching the couple. Louis’ cheeks got a bit hot as he noticed this as well.

"Are you guys excited for Christmas?" Harry asked, glancing at the twins.

"Yes, Yes! And tomorrow is Boobear’s birthday, so that means cake!" Daisy uninterrupted, grinning wide. 

 _Boobear._ He turned and looked at Louis, “I know it’s  _boobear’s_  birthday.” He laughed.

Louis shook his head, blushing, “Don’t call me that! That is an embarrassing nickname given to me by my embarrassing family who like to torture me in front of you.” He laughed.

"Whatever you say,  _boobear._ " He winked, turning back to the twins. 

"So, Harry, did you get us something for Christmas?!" Phoebe asked, smiling wide. Her eyes were twinkling.

"Girls! That is rude—" Louis tried to say but Harry interrupted him.

"Yes, I did." Harry smiled sweetly and the girl’s eyes lit up.

"You did?" Louis asked, turning around to glance at Harry. Harry nodded, smiling a little. 

* * *

 

About an hour later, Felicite and Louis’ dad arrived. The family had become so comfortable with Harry that it felt so natural. Harry opened up a lot in the short amount of time, feeling comfortable as well. He forgot what it felt like to be in a family. Even though he wasn’t blood related to them, he felt so loved around them.  Louis and Harry had been in the kitchen with the twins, making cupcakes. Daisy threw some flour and it landed in Harry’s hair - causing Harry to turn around. Daisy let out a small giggle. Harry let out a fake gasp and pulled the girl in his arms, tickling her. “How dare you get flour in my gorgeous curls!” 

Daisy was gasping for air as her laughter increased, “Harry-” She laughed harder as his finger poked her rib.

The kitchen was a mess. Icing and flour and batter was everywhere. All over the counters, the cabinets, the floor - Jay had made Louis and Harry promise they would clean it up before his father arrived. But them not knowing exactly what time he was going to get back was a problem when he  _did_ arrive.

He had walked in and smelled the cupcakes baking - causing him to walk towards the kitchen. “What is coo— what is going on in here?”

They all freezed, looking up to Louis’ dad. “Oh fuck. — Dad, hi.” Louis released Harry’s hand immediately, wiping the icing off of his fingers onto his shirt. 

"Dad! Louis just said a bad word!"

"I know, I heard. What’s going on?" He looked around, his eyes falling on Harry.

"We’re baking! Daddy, this is Harry! He’s my best friend!" Daisy smiled, walking over and taking Harry’s hand in her own. The size difference of the two was incredible. "He and Louis are boyfriends!"

 _Oh fucking god why._ Louis’ eyes got wide.  _He_ wanted to be the one to tell his dad this, but he couldn’t now. His dad eyed the both of them, “Oh, well hello Harry.” He said, holding a hand out for Harry to take.

"H-Hi." He gulped, shaking his hand. He looked back at the floor for a few seconds but looked up when Louis cleared his throat.

"Where’s Eleanor?" His dad asked, watching the both of them.

Harry looked away awkwardly at the question. He knew that this was going to be brought up a few times, like Louis had warned him. 

”..Dad obviously we aren’t together anymore If I’m with Harry..” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand again possessively.  ”Where’s Fizzy?” He changed the subject, looking around. As soon as he said that Fizzy was in the room and in Louis’ arms.

* * *

 

Louis’ dad wasn’t angry. At all. He was just surprised if anything. He always thought that Eleanor was going to be the one for Louis in the end. He had explained that Louis when they had finally gotten their time alone. Harry was in the living room, watching a movie with his sisters. He had laid on the floor, a pillow under his head and a blanket over him. Daisy and Phoebe had squished themselves into both of Harry’s sides, wiggling underneath the blankets as well. Daisy had her head against harry’s chest while Harry’s other arm was wrapped around Phoebe. Jay watched the sight of them. She was surprised - mostly because they didn’t even warm up to Eleanor this quickly. It had only been a few hours and they seemed so attached to him already. 

By the time that Louis was done talking to his dad, he walked into the living room to find Daisy and Phoebe sleeping and curled against Harry - who was sleeping as well. His stomach tightened at the sight of this. He almost let out a whimper but jumped when his mum was behind him.

"You didn’t tell me how adorable he really is." She smiled, "He’s a complete babe. The girls love him. I’ve never seen them so friendly with anyone so quickly, they’re always so shy. I’m so happy that you both have each other. I can see in your eyes and the way that you guys look at each other how happy you are. How happy both of you are."

"Yeah, he’s pretty amazing." He grinned, turning back to look at his sleeping boyfriend.

"What did your father say?" Jay asked, running a few fingers through her son’s messy hair.

He turned to look at her, “He’s okay. Just thought that I’d end up with Eleanor in the end,” He frowned, “I know a lot of people thought that, they  _loved_ her.. But I hope they understand that I’ve never been happier than I am now-“

"Love, we all know that you’re happy. We really do. You have a glow to you that you didn’t have with Eleanor, I love it. I love you."

"I love you too," Louis smiled at his mum before walking towards Harry. he was still on the floor, sleeping. He leaned down and laid flat on Harry’s stomach carefully. He tried to hold in a giggle as Harry twitched underneath him. Jay watched Harry do this as she walked over to wake the sleeping twins up. They immediately got up and mumbled a quiet goodnight to Louis before walking upstairs into their room. Jay gave Louis a small kiss on his head and even leaned down to kiss Harry’s sleeping head. She said a soft goodnight and went to her room to sleep as well.

Louis and Harry were left in the living room alone. Louis squirmed on top of him, “Wake up beautiful,” He laughed at his own cheesiness and stared down at Harry’s fluttering eyelids.

"Did you just call me beautiful?" Harry asked, his eyes were still closed. A grogginess was present in his sleepy voice.

Louis blushed ferociously, “Maybe.”

Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around Louis. “I love you,” He hummed softly into Louis’ hair.

"I love you too, now let’s go to bed babe." Louis smiled, squirming in his arms. When he was free, he stood up and held both of his hands out for Harry to take. 

Harry grabbed them both and stood up, trudging along as they walked up the stairs. He let Louis lead the way. When they got into Louis’ room, he collapsed onto his bed - landing on his stomach. Louis laid down as well, bringing the blanket up to the back of Harry’s neck and up to his chin. He wrapped an arm around Harry’s back and cuddled up against his body. He pressed his face into the nape of Harry’s neck, his curls tickled his face. He breathed in the sweet smell of his skin, the smell that he had become very familiar with for the past few months. He almost  craved the scent, all he wanted was to be near Harry and he wasn’t sure why. He just needed him.

"Did you have fun today?" Louis asked quietly, hoping Harry hadn’t fallen asleep yet.

Harry sat up slightly, shifting his position so that he was now on his side and facing Louis. “Today was perfect.” He whispered.

"They all love you by the way. My mum and the twins especially."

"Lou," Harry watched him in the darkness, he brought his hand up to caress Louis’ cheek. "Your family is.. so  _amazing._  I’ve never felt so loved before. Today meant everything to me, thank you so much. I love them already, so so much.”

Louis closed his eyes, biting his lip. “Goodnight baby.”

"Goodnight Louis."

* * *

 

Harry knew it was morning when he felt Louis stirring next to him in the bed. He could hear laughter downstairs and he squinted when he opened his eyes at the bright sunlight streaming into the room through the window on his right. He looked over to see that Louis was already awake and playing on his phone. Their eyes met and Louis began to smile, “Morning sleeping beauty.”

Harry smiled a tired smile and perched himself up on his elbow. He looked up at him, “Happy birthday.”

"Well thank you very much. I don’t feel much older." He shifted in the bed, pulling the blankets off of him.

"Wait, I wanted to give you my gift before we went downstairs. I know that sounds silly.. I just wanted to give it to you in ..private." Harry reached over, trying not to get out of the bed. He stretched his arm and his fingers found his bag and the little box inside of it. He pulled it out and brought it up to Louis.

"I wish you didn’t get me anything," Louis frowned, taking the small box from Harry’s hands. "And I can’t believe you got the girls something for Christmas." He shook his head, focusing on the box.

"I just got them a few stuffed animals, it’s kinda hard to choose things to get your little sisters.. I also got your parents something. It’s not much, I just wanted —" He was cut off by Louis pressing his lips against his own.

"You really shouldn’t have." He smiled, opening the box. Inside was a thin brown leather bracelet. A few beads were on it, but there was something carved into the leather on the side.  _Styles._ Louis looked up at Harry, meeting his eyes.

"Ehm.. Well, it was my father’s. He gave it to me before he died and I always wore it. I stopped wearing it a little while before I met you. It’s basically the last thing I have left of him. I know that sounds creepy that I’m giving it to you.. It just, it means a lot. I wanted you to have it." He said quietly. His heart dropped a bit when Louis didn’t say anything, "If you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep it-"

Louis leaned forward, dropping the bracelet softly into his lap. He caught Harry’s cheeks with both of his hands and pressed their lips together into a sweet kiss. He then pulled away from the kiss and pulled Harry into the tightest hug he’d ever given anyone, he was practically falling into his lap. He could feel Harry’s eyelashes tickling him against his skin. Louis’ eyes filled with tears and he nibbled onto his bottom lip. He didn’t know he could feel so much for just one person. As he pulled away slowly, he cupped Harry’s cheeks with his trembling fingers once again. They both stared at each other, “Thank you so much.” Louis whispered, “I love it. I love you.”

Harry reached out and grabbed the bracelet that had fallen onto the bed. He tied it around Louis’ wrist and pecked his lips softly. He wiped away the few tears that had fallen from Louis’ eyes and they both sat there for a few more minutes before they decided it was time to go downstairs.

* * *

 

It was no doubt the best birthday that Louis had ever had. The whole day he was surrounded by  _everyone_ that he loved. Harry didn’t leave Louis’ side the whole time, always making sure their hands were connecting or anything. He just wanted to be near him. Zayn and Liam even called him for his birthday and made sure that he knew that they both loved him and told him to say hi to Harry and the rest of the family. Eleanor even called him to wish him happy birthday and also told him to say hi to the the family and Harry.

He proudly wore his new bracelet - which was his favorite gift that he had received and he didn’t hide that fact. Lottie was the first one to notice it. Harry was in the bathroom and he was alone in the room with Lottie and his father.

"Who gave you that?" Lottie asked, motioning towards the bracelet.

Louis looked down and blushed lightly, “Harry did.” He smiled lightly, “His father gave it to him before he died and he wanted me to have it.” He bit his lip hard, glancing at Lottie to his father.

"His dad died?" Lottie frowned. "What about his mum?"

"She’s dead too." Louis said softly, looking up as Harry walked back into the room. He took his usual space next to Louis. Louis leaned his head against Harry’s side of his arm and caught his father’s approving look in his eye. His dad gave him a wide smile and looked at Harry.

"He was showing us the bracelet that you gave him, it’s very nice." His father said. He smiled genuinely at Harry, making sure to look him in the eye.

It was the first time that Louis’ dad actually didn’t intimidate him completely, “I was saying how much I loved it.” Louis added, patting his knee softly.

And if they weren’t surrounded by Louis’ family members, Harry would’ve given Louis the best birthday sex that he had ever gotten. But he couldn’t sadly, and he had apologized a dozen times to Louis. Louis just laughed, he knew how awkward it would’ve been. Surrounded by his little sisters in the rooms around them. Sigh. So they ended up taking a simple shower together - which was enough for them.

When that day had come to an end, he knew that the next day was going to be good as well - maybe better.

When Louis woke up the next morning on Christmas, he saw Harry moving around the room to try to find some clothes out of his bag. His hair was wet - he guessed he had taken a shower - and he was completely naked. He didn’t even have on a towel. “You’re trying to kill me, Styles.” Louis said sleepily.

Harry jumped a bit, blushing at the thought of Louis staring at his bare naked bum while he was in search for a perfect Christmas day outfit. Louis let out a laugh as Harry quickly found a pair of boxers and put them on. “Merry Christmas!” Harry smiled, bringing a sweater over his head and pulling a pair of jeans on. He walked back over to the bed and leaned over to kiss Louis. 

"Wow, not fair. You look like a fucking angel and I’m sitting here with morning breath and like a morning face and I probably look crusty and gross." Louis frowned, standing up and walking into the bathroom.

Harry followed him, giggling as he watched Louis brush his teeth through the mirror.  When Louis spit, he turned around and gave him a quick peck on the lips, “It’s my turn now to give you a gift in private. Away from the embarrassing people that I call my family.” He laughed, taking Harry’s hands and leading him towards the bed.

Harry sat there, swinging his legs as he watched Louis fumble through his bag. He brought up a box, that looked a bit like the one that Harry had presented Louis the night before. He handed it to Harry, smiling. He watched as Harry opened it and looked back up at Louis with wide eyes.

"Don’t worry. I’m not asking you to marry me," He laughed, taking the ring out of the box, "It’s.. I wanted to make you a promise. I wanted you to know that you’re the most amazing person that I’ve ever met.. If someone told me a few months ago that I was going to meet this boy and fall in love with him.. I wouldn’t have ever believed them. I never saw myself ever getting  _anyone_ a promise ring and I’m here giving you one. I love you. I promise you that I will always be here for you. Even if something happens between us, I’ll always be here if you need me. I promise you that I will love you no matter what. If i parents ended up not liking you, I was willing to just let them go. I know how horrible that sounds but I don’t think you understand how much you really mean to me. I want you to know that I will be there for you, through every tear, every nightmare, every stupid fight that we get into, every smile, every laugh, just everything that will happen in the future  I will still be here with you - next to you - by your side. People can laugh at me all they like when I tell them how much I love you. I don’t care anymore. I just want you to know that I promise that I’ll make you happy.” Louis sighed shakily, holding the ring out for Harry to take.

Harry grabbed it, slipping it on his finger. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Louis. “You’re way too good to me.” He whispered softly with a lump in his throat that he was trying to swallow. He felt himself wanting to cry. Louis rubbed his back softly, kissing his head a few times. 

* * *

 

A few hours later they all sat in the living room. Zayn and Liam even drove up and ended up staying with them as well for Christmas. Louis’ family was very familiar with the couple. Louis and them went to high school together and they were the only ones that he regularly hung out with. Harry made sure that he had called Niall to wish him a merry Christmas, Louis joining him. 

"Well, we were going to tell you something when we had you guys alone." Liam said, when it was just Louis and Harry in the room. Zayn walked in, following closely behind Liam.

"And..?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrow at the couple.

"Well," Liam smiled at Zayn before turning back to Louis, "Zayn and I are getting married.." He grinned.

Louis and Harry shot themselves at them, hugging them tightly. 

"Finally holy fuck!" Louis laughed. They had been together for about 5 years already. He knew it was coming one day.

And maybe that day would come for Harry and himself. He didn’t want to think too far ahead, just for this moment. Because everything in his life in this moment was absolutely perfect for him. And Harry had allowed himself to be happy for the first time in a while.


End file.
